this is what needs to be included:
Carefully read the passage, from Chapter 21 of The Color of Water, that begins on pg. 214, "I stuck around Suffolk awhile longer ..." and ends on pg. 218, "Birdie, birdie, fly away." Then, analyze the primary symbol in the passage, "bird who flies," and, in a brief response, explain how this symbol contributes to character development, conflict, and/or theme. Avoid plot summary.
This is what i have so far. Does it sound alright?
In the memoir, The Color of Water, symbolism is used to compare Ruth to "a bird that flies" (218). At Yom Kippur celebration a chicken was going be used as a blood sacrifice and Ruth voiced her distaste for this tradition. Mameh had said: "that chicken is just showing God we're thankful for living. It's just a chicken. It's not a bird who flies. A bird who flies is special. You would never trap a bird who flies" (218). Ruth is similar to the bird that flies meaning that she has a longing for travel should not have restrictions. If Ruth were to stay with Mameh it would be the same as a bird losing its ability to fly. Ruth would not be able to go anywhere because Mameh was crippled from polio and couldn't do everything by herself anymore. Therefore Ruth would have had to stay with her and care for her every day. In addition to being physically disabled, Mameh was also emotionally disabled. Tateh treated Mameh so poorly and even forced her to get a divorce even though he knew "there was nobody to look out for her" (199). Mameh understood that you couldn't "trap a bird that flies" and resentfully allowed Ruth to leave.
Hey, you have a good start here on this. Let me summarize a few of the things that I have noticed:
1. Verb tense agreement: You have to use the same verb tense throughout your writing. Ruth voiced her distaste for this tradition. Mameh had said: "that chicken is just . In this small excerpt you have used past tense to refer to Ruth's perspectives but have used the past perfect tense for Mameh's perspectives. (Past perfect tense involves the verb "have". Mameh "had" said. You could have said, Mameh said.)
2. Contractions: polio and couldn't do everything Do not use slang or contractions in formal writing. Here you could write "could not".
3. Content: From the perspective of content you might want to explore Mameh struggle as a "bird that cannot fly" and how Ruth was able to escape this whereas Mameh's physical condition would not allow it.
You might do well in the future to consult an editing or proofreading service (NOT a writing service) to assist you to clarify thoughts and grammar.
N.Hill
Sr. Editor,
The Paper Editing Service
