Essay on Hamlet--Hamlet fakes insanity to mask his actual insanity

Vain and self-conscious, Hamlet realizes and is embarrassed by the progressive deterioration of his mind made worse by the death of his father. He worries that those around him will either dismiss him as an atypical fruitcake or, in fear, dispel him completely, which, naturally, will disrupt his plan to avenge of his father's death.

Knowing that no one would ever suspect a triple-layered plan, Hamlet schemes to fake insanity to mask his actual insanity. His transition to insanity is not immediate-rather, it progresses throughout the play. However, he immediately tries to cover it up.

So, that's my intro paragraph, but I've been told my thesis is rather unclear. What I'm trying to get at is that Hamlet has a "triple-layered" plan in which he fakes insanity to mask his actual insanity.

Anyone have any tips for how I can better polish my intro paragraph?

Thanks

Using fewer adjectives will make it clearer. That is the problem... but actually, it is not really a problem. You have a great, succint thesis sentence right here:

Hamlet has a "triple-layered" plan in which he fakes insanity to mask his actual insanity.