LOUIS RIEL: HERO OR VILLAIN ? A traitor

i wrote an essay on louis riel being a traitor i want to see if theirs anything i need to fix. i need someone else besides my eyes to look at this

HERE IT IS:

Louis Riel is a traitor. Louis was born on October 22, 1844 in the Red River Settlement, which is now called Winnipeg. Riel is also a Metis leader, and educated in the city of Montreal. Louis was the founder of Manitoba in 1870, and was also considered one of the fathers of Confederation. Louis Riel has made great changes to Canada, but has also made wrong decisions.

One major point about Louis Riel's mistakes is the reputation of the Metis and First Nations. The Metis and the First Nations should have had a voice or opinion when it came to the Rupert's land transfer on December 1st, 1869. The Rupert's land transfer was a big step for the people of the Red River, which is why they should have been involved in a decision that will change their lives forever. Also, the First Nations people did not get the freedom they deserved. Considering that some people say that the First Nations and the Metis are the same people, then why can't they have the same freedoms and rights? This question brings me to my third point. The Metis Bill of Rights is possibly biased. Knowing that Louis Riel is a Metis leader, Riel would be more interested in the Metis opinions than anyone else. Not only did the Metis get more rights and freedoms than the First Nations people, but the Metis even made French an official language in 1869, and demanded publicly funded schools for the Roman Catholics and Protestant.

Not only was Riel biased, but Louis was also responsible for illegal actions. On December 7, Riel and his followers surrounded a store owned by Dr. John Schultz, who is the leader of the Canada Party. Louis and his followers got 50 people guarding the store arrested at Fort Garry. Also, the administration of the Hudson`s Bay Company failed because of the illegal and rebellious actions of Louis Riel and his followers. The Red River settlement was affected by this because it was left without a government. Lastly, during the Red River Resistance of 1869- 1870, Riel executed or 'murdered' Thomas Scott, who was against Louis Riel. Terrified and worried because of that incident, Louis Riel escaped to the United States in 1870 when the Metis needed him the most. When Riel came back, responsibility had to be taken for Riel`s actions. There was a fine of $5000 for whoever finds the murderer of Thomas Scott. For that reason, Louis had to spend 5 years out of Canada as Riel`s own fine for executing Thomas Scott.

Because Louis is a rebel, Riel was a part of the Northwest Rebellion, which lasted less than 3 months 1885. On May 6, the Metis lost to the government and Louis Riel surrendered, or would have been killed by pack of soldiers from the government. The Louis Riel trial in Regina of 1885 was one of the most famous trials in the history of Canada. This trial last over a week, which ended with Riel being charged with high treason under British law, and was sentenced to be hung. After the execution of Louis Riel, countries were divided by French and English speakers and people.

Louis Riel has done many great things like the creation of Manitoba, and standing up for the rights and freedoms of the Metis against the government. Although these are great accomplishments, Riel has made too many rebellious acts to be a hero. Riel had good intentions, but the ways Riel planned on getting what he wanted was either illegal, or just not right. To answer the big question, Louis David Riel is indeed a traitor.

Riel is also a Metis leader, and educated in the city of Montreal. I would change this to Riel became a Metis leader, and was educated in the city of Montreal. Beginning with Riel was born then not continuing in the same tone breaks the flow.

This question brings me to my third point. - you may make 1,2, etc points but jumping from "One major point.." to a third point, made me go back and check if I missed your second point... I did not find the point... you neglect to point it out to the reader.

Not only was Riel biased, but Louis was also responsible for illegal actions. Using Louis instead of HE sounds to familiar as if you know Louis...For that matter you change through out the essay from using only the last name to both to the first name and back and forth... It may serve you better to pick one and maintain it throughout only reverting back to Both first and last when really important.

As an example "For that reason, Louis had to spend 5 years out of Canada as Riel`s own fine for executing Thomas Scott."

I would also consider stating the statues in which Canada expresses what a traitor is... though inserting it may not be good alluding to it may strengthen you stance.

Well... I find each line is too independent form the other. There is no connection or link between them and that disturbs a smooth flow of your essay.


...now it's fine and flows nicely :)


... I think this is a good comment... yes, you better pay attention to this!
[quote=epiphelks] This trial did last over a week /quote]