Thanking moderators and everyone who gave me helpful suggestion

Day after tomorrow is my TOEFL-iBT. So want to say everyone thanks for helping me.
I know still I have to improve a lots. You all encouraged me so much to improve and understand the English. After exam, I will try to continue to write and give feed back here.

Specially thanks to Kevin who helped me a lots.

Thanks

Vaishali

The day after tomorrow is my TOEFL-iBT. So, want to say thanks to everyone for helping me.
I know still I have to improve a lot . You all encouraged me so much to improve and understand the English. After the exam, I will try to continue to write and give feedback here.

Especially thanks ...

Hey, the fact that you are bilingual is very impressive... so, no matter how you score on that test today, stay confident because of your very valuable skill. In a globalizing world... I wish I was bilingual!!

Okay, if you have time, join the contributors!!

Hi, Vaishali. Believe in you, in your abilities and strength, and you will accomplish your goal. I wish you to score high result and share your happiness with us.


Hi, Kevin. It is never late to start learning another language, especially with your potential. Have you ever thought about it?

Yes, still working on it! I want to learn Chinese, Spanish, Japanese, and Sanskrit. Not necessarily in that order. Ha ha... :-)

All but one are orient languages, and I should say very challenging ones. Are you interested in Eastern culture and languages, or you like to face a challenge?

EF_Kevin

Do you know Sanskrit? When was 7th standard, that subject was optional. I wanted to take Sanskrit but suddenly my school canceled Sanskrit from syllabus due to lack of student.

Man I learned Sanskrit for four years. It was compulsory in our school curriculum. I found it really boring, but that may have been because it's almost never used in any form of communication. Oh but there is one news bulletin in Sanskrit that comes up daily (or was it weekly?) in the national news channel of India.

aah...Sanskrit!...its good to learn an ancient language, but honestly, its not of much use, unless one is studying history or stuff alike(maybe ancient medicine).

and Chinese-(oh, man!)the toughest possible language on Earth(though it actually sounds sweet when u hear 'em speaking)!!!

kewl choices anyways!

Ha ha, yeah, ancient languages are tough to learn because you can't get immersed... unless you listen to that radio station all day, the one Ershad mentions. Oh, it's not even a rado station but just a news bulletin. Oh well... I tried to learn Latin in high school and it was the same: difficult to find application.

But all the ancient meditation instructions are written in Sanskrit. Meditation practice is really important, I think!

Vaishali, what did you learn instead of Sanskrit when the class was canceled?

EF_Kevin

I learned Hindi. Hindi is our national language. Every state has different language but peoples from most of state know Hindi. My mother tongue alphabets and Hindi language alphabets are same, only difference in meaning.

Vaishali

I'd like to correct you slightly. Hindi is not our national language. It is one of the two official languages; the other being English. The constitution makers did not choose a national language because of the linguistic diversity of the country. India is the only country where there are so many languages, not to mention various dialects and accents.


There are Hindi translations available in good libraries. Of course, that means you have to learn Hindi :)

Ha ha, yes, so I may as well learn Sanskrit.


The United States is like that too. We have too much diversity to choose a national language. Some people are upset about it and want to establish English as the national language, but I think it is best to keep it inclusive.

well, the translations are available in English, too!...so, that isn't an issue!
So, frankly speaking, it wouldn't be of much use (or maybe NO use at all!)...learning a language like Sanskrit.
But, anyways, one shouldn't just learn any language for the sake of some benefits...
There should be a desire from within- a liking or maybe just a willingness to do so!

I guess I have that with Spanish. I really like the progress I have made, and I like some experiences I had where I could communicate with people who spoke no English. When I try to speak Spanish, though.. ha ha, I think I only know about 50 words.. :-)

Spanish? Is that difficult to study?

I don't know much about other languages (except Ukrainian, Russian and English of course). Ukrainian is my mother tongue, but, you know, every Ukrainian can understand and speak in Russian. I think Ukrainian has much more complicated grammar than English, but that does not mean it is easy to me to study English.

Hi Kelvin
I got my Toefl score . In writing section I got 17 which is more than I expected but I got very low score in reading 12. In writing they gave me following opinion

You attempted to express your opinion, but your response indicates notable deficiencies such as

* your response contains insufficient detail;
* your ideas and your connections of ideas are difficult to understand because of many grammatical errors and/or very unclear expressions and sentence structure; and/or

* your response is only marginally related to the question that was asked.

Thanks to all for help me
Now want to study more hard to get score more than 71. Now I got score 64.

Please give me suggestion to improve my writing.

Hi, Vaishali

I know this question is not addressed to me, but because I took TOEFl exam as well, and is familiar with your writing to some extend, I decided to comment on reported defects:


Yes, sometimes you include minor ideas, not completely relevant to the topic. Even though plenty of ideas may congest in your mind, you should focus on the two or three most pertinent ones (because of the tome limit).


Besides grammar mistakes, I noted that you rarely use transitions to connect your sentences and paragraphs. The main attribute of toefl essay and all academic essays in general is coherence, that is mostly achieved with insertion of transitional words.


To rectify this shortcoming you should ensure that supporting sentences relate to topic sentences and, that each of your topic sentences directly answer the thesis statement. Usually a topic sentence introduces the main idea of the paragraph, that is further to be discussed in the paragraph.

Good luck with your studies! try harder and the fortress of TOEFL will surrender. :)

I can offer one advice. Start reading topics which are out of your comfort zone. For example, let's say that your favorite subject is biology and you hate philosophy. So here biology is in your comfort zone and philosophy is out of it. Hence, to improve your reading, start reading philosophy.

Trust me, it works. I can say it from my own experience. :)

Start a sentence collection. Memorize about 20 sentences that have good structure, and use variations of them. For example:

School uniforms are useful, but they have serious drawbacks.

You can make variations of that sentence. If you are writing about capitalism, you can write:
Capitalism is powerful, but it has serious drawbacks.
or you can change it in a big way:
Capitalism is a sophisticated system that mirrors natural selection from evolutionary theory, but it also creates greed and ruthlessness.

Try making variations of this sentence:
When the sky gets dark, the world is trying to go to sleep.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT IDEA:
Post some more writing here and ask specifically with help conjugating verbs. That is usually what people need the most help with. You are doing well! I bet if you took the test again right now you would score higher. They said you insufficiently answered some questions... so maybe you need to write more than you wrote.

Post an essay soon! We'll practice...

I tried to make general sentence but its hard for me. It is very difficult to me to make general sentence. Now I have only one day left for my next exam.

Any suggestion for sentence and others?

If you have only one day...
I suggest you review all your essays submitted here.
Absorb the comments and suggestions, and make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the exam.
Good luck!

Use verbs to make sentences:
drive
XXXXXXXX will drive to the YYYYYYYYYY before we ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Make
XXXXXXXX will make the YYYYYYYY for the ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Write
XXXXXX will write the YYYYYYYYY for the ZZZZZZZZZ.

Is this what you mean?

Thanks Kevin and Adrienne

My exam gone well. Now I am waiting for my result.

This time I gave exam better than last time. In writing section I wrote both essay very confidently thought I might made some mistake.

Thanks this forum and who helped me to learn more.

Thanks to everyone

I am very happy. I wanted more than 71 and I got 74
In writing section I got 21 this time which is more than I expected.

Nice!! I hope Ershad and the other great contributors see this, because they will be reminded of the good outcomes to which they contribute when they help people correct errors. I'm happy for you Vaishalli, thanks for all the good examples you set here.

Merged:

Master's degree in Europe - Just wanna say you

@Holt
Hey Holt it's Khoa. You helped me write a dozen essays a while ago (I'm the one with the Personal Statement about kids studying too much in Vietnam), and I want to say thank you.

I didn't get into any school though. The results came in May but I was too busy being depressed and then having to focus on the university entrance exam in Vietnam so I didn't have the time to tell you haha. Earlham College offered me an aid package of 35000 usd a year (that took an essay about being a mediator and an interview), but my family couldn't pay the rest. Bard College offered me a spot in their Berlin campus but their curriculum wasn't what I needed. So I ended up studying in Vietnam.

I got into one of the top schools here! I'm studying in Foreign Trade University now. Even though I couldn't study abroad, I discovered a lot about myself while writing those essays. Now I have a better idea of who I am and who I want to become. You helped me prepared for my college years ahead. Thank you, Holt.

I'm planning to get my master degree in Europe, so I might come back to this forum in a few years. I hope you will still be here!

Again, thank you.
P/s: If you ever come to Ho Chi Minh city, do call me. You might need help getting around this concrete jungle!

Hi Khoa, it is so nice to hear from you. I am pleased to learn that I was able to help you with your college applications. From the sound of it, you were accepted to the universities you applied to. It was just a case of you receiving good opportunities at the wrong time. That is what makes me sad about what happened to your college applications. What makes me happy and hopeful about your future though, is that your acceptance to these 2 universities means that you do have the mettle to succeed in an international academic setting. I mean, just think, not everyone is offered a student spot in the international campus of a university as you had the opportunity to consider.

I congratulate you on proving so many things to your self based solely upon your college application experience. I would like to thank you for allowing me to guide you and become an integral part of your life changing adventure. I am sure that you will succeed in any avenue of learning or profession that you choose to undertake in the future.

So you plan on taking a masters degree within 2 years? I will make sure that I will still be here to assist you when that time comes. Don't rush it though. Make sure that you have all the qualifying considerations ready on your part. Most specially the work experience and a matured and professional mindset. Consider your future career path this early and work towards it. That way, when you apply for masters studies, it will be a very obvious and logical next step towards a better career and future for yourself.

By the way, if you ever need my guidance again while you complete your college studies in Vietnam, don't forget that I will always be here at EF. Reach out to me anytime. I am always ready to assist you and inspire you if you feel you need it. I am not selfish with my guidance. All you have to do is ask for my help and you will get it. College is hard enough on your own. So if you need a friendly voice or just the advice of someone whom you can take inspiration from, I'm always here for you.

If I ever find myself in Vietnam in the future, I will make sure to send you a message first. I would love to meet any of the students from EF whom I have helped and who may want to meet me in the future. Stay in touch Khoa. You are always welcome to hang out here.

Dear Mary Rose, I would like to ask you to see my old essay for a scholarship program.

I failed this year, so I think that I need to re-work it into a new look.

In the process of preparing documents for admission, I found this site and saw your assistance for people and relevant to my direction and scholarship program.

I would like to ask you for help, I think you have a wealth of experience and knowledge, as well as you have read a lot of essays, including in the TOP universities and you have something to compare my essay with and what advice to give.

This site is not the most ergonomic and I did not understand it well. Could we contact by mail or social network?
Thank you!