My dream to study abroad in Japan after high school graduation

Reason and Purpose of Study in Japan

My very first approach to Japan commenced when I was a child, when I was joining a tour with my family to japan. I was so happy that time because the food is delicious and the tour guide which is Japanese is friendly and kind. Since then the country became an interesting destination in which I was deeply interested and I have a dream that when I graduated from high school I want to go study abroad to japan

Firstly, studying abroad at japan will make me more mature and more independent as a person also by studying abroad to japan I could broaden my knowledge. I am open to new experience and culture which makes me interested in the unique Japanese culture. Secondly, they are polite, hard worker, and respect others which are very good attitude and I want to learn from them directly.

My plan after graduation, I'm going to continue study at either Professional training school or Universty at japan eventhough I haven't decided which majors I will choose because I will decide them while I am studying at japan student services organization (JASSO)

Hi. English is my second lenguage and I have difficulty writing and finding mistakes. However, you essay has some major mistakes that even I noticed. I can imagine how these mistakes will stick out to the scorer.

...when I was child, when I was joining...
I should write as
...during my childhood when I went to Japan with my family.
Make sure to capitalize name of the city: Japan.

I was so happy that time....
.....at the time...

...when graduated from high scool...
...when graduate high school...

Last paragraph is all on sentence. It is too long. I think you should brake it down. Japan Student Service Organization is all capital.

These are just few mistakes that I am pointing out. You should work on structure of your sentences.

Edward, this is a throw away essay. What that means is that the reviewer will read this essay, discover that it is saying a lot of things, but not really responding to the prompt instructions and therefore, can be discarded and your application rejected on the basis of a wrongly developed prompt response. The prompt is asking for your reasons and purpose for your study in Japan. Your previous visit to Japan as a child is irrelevant. That did not leave you with any educational experience that would have affected your current decision. The reason, must be academic in nature and the purpose, must have some sort of career objective in mind. Focus on the course you have chosen to study in Japan. Then ask yourself, why did I choose to study in Japan? Specifically, why this university? What do I hope to achieve professionally after my studies (purpose). Answer those simple questions in at least 2 paragraphs and your new and improved essay response will be ready. Do not use this version. Write a new one after you finish pondering on the guide questions I provided here.