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|University of Pennsylvania's Master of Behavioral & Decision Science - Personal Statement
NEW - Personal Statement essay Hi all, I am applying to Master of Behavioral & Decision Science, University of Pennsylvania....
Graduatelisarg - 11 hrs ago / — -
|UVirginia Data Science Statement Of Purpose
2 - You have a strong academic background. However, you are mistaking the internship for a professional experience which, even if...
GraduateMSDataScAspirant - 2 days ago / Holt - 1 day ago
|[KGSP-G] - International Trade Studies (GSIS) - Statement of Purpose
3 - I believe a good way to start your Goal of Study is with some experiences you had that motivated...
Graduatenhunggngu - Jan 21, 2021 / AlfredoCruz - Jan 21, 2021
|REVIEW GUYS - TRACK MOTIVATION FOR MASTERS IN ENGINEERING DESIGN WITH MACHINE DESIGN TRACK
3 - Hey! Based on your feedback, I have modified the motivation letter as below. Please review... ->>>>> ...
Graduatesalil96ii - Jan 19, 2021 / salil96ii - Jan 21, 2021
|Parson's Fashion Marketing and Communication Statement of Purpose
2 - I am unclear as to whether this is an SOP for an undergraduate or masters course. Based on the...
Graduatefionagusmano - Jan 20, 2021 / Holt - Jan 21, 2021
|Statement of Purpose for MPH in Global Health, unconventional background (PhD in Computer Science)
Graduatechiraz - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
|Statement of Purpose for Human Rights Studies in Sweden
2 - This is way too long for a statement of purpose. Unless otherwise specified, the SOP should be completed within...
GraduateMehjabin Ferdous - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
|Statement of purpose for graduate school, why EMECS - Erasmus Mundus Programme
2 - You cannot focus solely on your undergraduate education for an EM masters scholarship application. You have to show a...
GraduateTuronbek - Jan 18, 2021 / Holt - Jan 18, 2021
|Statement of Purpose - Masters Degree in Education Leadership, Organizations, and Entrepreneurship
2 - I am not sure if this incorrect statement of purpose will help your application to Harvard. Specially since it...
Graduatemanuelavilasb - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
|Personal Statement Masters in EnergySystems (500 WORDS) - University of Oxford
2 - There is an extreme focus on your academic achievements overall. This unusual focus has resulted in your inability to...
GraduateHafizTaimoor - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
|STATEMENT OF PURPOSE/ MS in Human Nutrition in South Korea / [GSP]
2 - You can skip the first paragraph in relation to the TOPIK test. That is irrelevant to the discussion which...
Graduatemanabae - Jan 12, 2021 / Holt - Jan 12, 2021
|International Security - Personal Statement - Erasmus Mundus IMSISS Scholarship
3 - i think it should be ... paradigms that prevent individuals to live from living in a safe environment...
GraduateSofiaM - Jan 7, 2021 / A7zanany - Jan 8, 2021
|To Yale Silver from Belarus startup industry
3 - @Holt Thank you for the advice! I rebuilt it a bit. Does it seem stronger? However, my commitment deals...
GraduateMaximDeykalo - Jan 7, 2021 / MaximDeykalo - Jan 7, 2021
|Statement for Purpose for Masters in Game Design/Development
3 - Thank you very much. I tried to incorporate your suggestions and here are the revised 3rd and 4th paragraphs....
Graduatewhaj47 - Jan 6, 2021 / whaj47 - Jan 6, 2021
|Personal Statement for Msc in Marketing in Dublin
3 - @Holt Thank you for your suggestions. I tried to incorporate those in the new edit. Please have a...
Graduatefariha - Dec 26, 2020 / fariha - Jan 3, 2021
|How to explain two years of gap in Statement of Purpose?
2 - The gap year is not a regularly required piece of information in a statement of purpose. The SOP focuses...
GraduateAnu123 - Dec 18, 2020 / Holt - Dec 18, 2020
|'I wanted to become a monkey' - Personal Statement for Masters of Environmental Management
4 - You should have an appropriate introduction. For example: My name is ABC, an environmental scientist in BCD institute. I...
GraduateCallipyge - Dec 14, 2020 / phidang123 - Dec 17, 2020
|My propensity towards data-driven systems and computer-based application - Data science masters SOP
2 - There is a problem with this essay. Though you fulfilled the academic and technical requirements for the course, even...
Graduateanurag2509 - Dec 15, 2020 / Holt - Dec 15, 2020
|Thoughts about my MS Data Science Statement of Purpose
Graduateksssh - Sep 27, 2020 / Holt - Dec 14, 2020
|Short answer essay for Masters of Environmental Management
GraduateCallipyge - Dec 10, 2020 / Callipyge - Dec 11, 2020
|SOP - DOCTORAL DEGREE IN ECONOMICS (AGRICULTURAL ECONOMICS)
3 - @Holt. Thanks for the useful feedback. The requirement was stated as lettter of intent. I assumed that...
GraduateDeborah554 - Dec 7, 2020 / Deborah554 - Dec 8, 2020
|SOP For Civil engineering at CMU
3 - Hi Holt, Thank you for your advice. it is really helpful for me I don't have a master degree....
GraduateDuctien1996 - Dec 7, 2020 / Ductien1996 - Dec 8, 2020
|SOP Review for CMU's Master of Software Engineering (MSE for Professionals)
3 - @Holt I just realised that the second section of my SOP did not get included in the thread. Pasting...
Graduateshikha1421 - Dec 6, 2020 / shikha1421 - Dec 8, 2020
|Statement of Purpose for MSc on Thermal Power and Fluid Engineering.
4 - Woah! I really appreciate your contributions, @Can2018543 and @Holt. Thank you so much. I will apply it for corrections....
GraduateMacjoseph - Dec 4, 2020 / Macjoseph - Dec 6, 2020
|SOP for MSc Program at TU Delft
2 - The second paragraph is irrelevant to the discussion. You should remove that paragraph and replace it instead, with a...
GraduateAda1998 - Dec 3, 2020 / Holt - Dec 4, 2020
|The intro for my SOP for masters in AI
3 - You have misunderstood the prompt for the SOP. A purpose is not the same as an explanation of the...
GraduateRitika_sharma - Nov 30, 2020 / Holt - Dec 1, 2020
|Statement of purpose for Seoul National University KLEC
3 - @Holt Thank you for your advices. So you would suggest I just cut out the first introduction part where...
Graduateviola99 - Nov 27, 2020 / viola99 - Nov 27, 2020
|Check my SOP for a PhD application in material science
GraduatebLANK_95 - Nov 25, 2020 / bLANK_95 - Nov 25, 2020
|Sstudy plan - MA in economics at Concordia University
2 - There are only a few paragraphs from this version that can be transferred to the revised presentation. Use paragraphs...
Graduatebanafsheh - Nov 24, 2020 / Holt - Nov 25, 2020
|Personal Statement for University of Leeds - Msc Advanced Mechanical Engineering
3 - @Holt Thank you for your suggestions. I am still having some queries on what is the difference between a...
Graduatevisakhr1998 - Nov 16, 2020 / visakhr1998 - Nov 17, 2020
|School of visual art - statement of intent for MA of design
2 - You may want to lose the friendly letter of introduction format in this presentation. You are undergoing a written...
Graduatexzhou - Nov 14, 2020 / Holt - Nov 14, 2020
|Personal Statement Mechanical Engineering Msc United States
6 - @ndangalasi already mentioned points where you can improve your essay. I agree with those points, and I wanted to...
GraduateRemi - Nov 9, 2020 / leoandersons - Nov 10, 2020
|Application for USC film school - Cinematic Arts Personal Statement
2 - The experience that you are speaking of in the essay is interesting. However, since you are applying to Cinematic...
GraduateSiwenmao - Nov 6, 2020 / Holt - Nov 7, 2020
|In support of NACE and Keep Memory Alive - Tell us about a time you had to persevere?
Graduatejoanna0508 - Nov 1, 2020 / Holt - Nov 2, 2020
|Electronics and Communication Tell us your story. What is importance to you and reflect who you are.
3 - You have not really explained what is important to you and why. You have written a general statement covering...
Graduatendangalasi - Nov 1, 2020 / Holt - Nov 2, 2020
|Advise on my Statement of Purpose for the application to the Data Science Master Program at EPFL
3 - @Holt Many thanks for your suggestions! I am going directly from undergraduate to graduate studies and the program...
GraduateGadflyyy - Nov 1, 2020 / Gadflyyy - Nov 2, 2020
|ERASMUS MUNDUS GLOCAL PATHWAY A STATEMENT OF PURPOSE DRAFT
2 - This is an extremely long personal statement. You have 7 pages indicated for this essay. Believe me, the reviewer...
Graduatefatimaali9 - Oct 28, 2020 / Holt - Oct 29, 2020
|Application for an MPA program - essay about privilege
Graduateluxury20041985 - Oct 27, 2020 / luxury20041985 - Oct 29, 2020
|Applying for the MA International Education to become an outstanding educator - Personal Statement
2 - Were you asked to combine the personal statement with a motivation discussion? The reason I ask is because I...
GraduateEchoXiao - Oct 21, 2020 / Holt - Oct 22, 2020
|Statement of Purpose - MS in Statistics - applying for a statistics graduate program
GraduateILikeMassacres - Oct 20, 2020 / Holt - Oct 21, 2020
|Supervision Inquiry for the proposed PhD Study
3 - @Holt Thank you so much. The Professor's future work direction stated on the papers are my proposed PhD research...
GraduateHiwi_Life - Oct 18, 2020 / Hiwi_Life - Oct 20, 2020
|Essay For Admission Into an Integrated Marketing Communications Program
2 - While I can understand why you presented the name of the author in the opening paragraph, the reviewer will...
Graduateluxury20041985 - Oct 16, 2020 / Holt - Oct 16, 2020
|Personal Statement for IAESTE Mechanical Engineering Internship
3 - Wow , your essay is very insightful, well stated and detailed . Hope you aren't asked to submit some...
GraduateLordAli - Oct 11, 2020 / IntegrityFaj001 - Oct 12, 2020
|Personal Statement for an MBA Foundation / Afghanistan
2 - Remove the reference to the researched information. That is not necessary in a personal statement. Your personal statement lacks...
Graduatebenyamin1 - Oct 5, 2020 / Holt - Oct 6, 2020
|My SOP for admission into Msc linguistics
2 - The minimal requirement for a masters degree student is 2 years worth of professional experience. You have to discuss...
GraduateIamsorelee - Oct 2, 2020 / Holt - Oct 4, 2020
|SOP; The perfect fit. The Data Science and Analytics program is what I am looking for.
2 - This better be only a partially written SOP because if this is your full SOP, then you have a...
GraduateChikaa - Sep 30, 2020 / Holt - Sep 30, 2020
|Autoimmune Disease has shaped my relationship with Medicine - Perfusion school essay
3 - @Holt Thank you so much for taking the time to provide your feedback! I will definitely be revising and...
Graduatecxw67 - Sep 27, 2020 / cxw67 - Sep 28, 2020
|MS Business Analytics - Why is the next logical step? What will you gain?
3 - @Holt Thanks a lot for reviewing this. I really appreciate it. It seems that I might have to write...
Graduatesatya07 - Sep 21, 2020 / satya07 - Sep 22, 2020
|Application for Big Data management and Analytics Program to study at the top institution
GraduateNafee - Sep 14, 2020 / Nafee - Sep 14, 2020
|"Relevant Knowledge/Training Skills" MSc in HR Management admissions essay
3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback! This is an essay on the job training which university require in addition...
Graduatemischievous - Sep 5, 2020 / mischievous - Sep 6, 2020
|Personal Statement KGS 2021 / Preparing for Graduate
4 - The more I learn about mechanical engineering, the more I assured that a career as a mechanical engineer is...
GraduateDFS29834 - Aug 25, 2020 / Lily013 - Sep 1, 2020
|"My high school, my second home"
2 - The essay is a bit too superficial in presentation. There is no impact to the description you provided. Though...
GraduateKurekoHikari - Aug 26, 2020 / Holt - Aug 26, 2020
|Both wearing fashionably and quality of work are critical and prominent to success in the work
2 - Ok. For this 2 point of view with personal opinion discussion, you need to follow a specific format. If...
Graduatedinhxuanthanh29 - Aug 2, 2020 / Holt - Aug 2, 2020
|Data Science playing a key role in changing the world - SOP essay
2 - Are you responding to a specific statement of purpose prompt or not? If you are responding to a prompt,...
Graduatefaten91 - Jul 31, 2020 / Holt - Aug 1, 2020
|Masters in Human Resource Management KGSP 2020
NEW - My first Draft.Masters in Human Resource Management KGSP 2020 - Motivations with which you apply for this program...
GraduateKrishaP - Jul 14, 2020 / — -
|Medical School Personal Characteristics Prompt
3 - @Holt Wow you're goooood!!! Thank you so much for your help - English is not my native language, so...
GraduateDrJosh - Jul 13, 2020 / DrJosh - Jul 13, 2020
|Questions about the balance of experience and academic proposal -regarding personal statement
Graduatewingkee - Jun 30, 2020 / wingkee - Jul 11, 2020
|"Never stop learning, for when we stop learning, we stop growing" - SOP for business data analytics
Graduateandyb017 - Jul 8, 2020 / andyb017 - Jul 10, 2020
|Engineering Job - AAS Supporting Statement: Question No. 1
4 - The first paragraph is more useful in the career goal statement response. The second paragraph should be more focused...
Graduatedarklord30 - Jun 28, 2020 / Holt - Jun 29, 2020
|Lecturer in a higher institution - KGSP Future Plan.
2 - This is not a true KGSP Future after studies plan. This is a non-answer that does not give specifics...
GraduateKrishaP - Jun 19, 2020 / Holt - Jun 19, 2020
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