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|'Our personality is the average of the five people with whom we spend most of our time'; GRE Task
3 - @shiv_riky Hi there. As Holt said, you do have a strong essay and I agree with her recommendations. ...
Graduateshiv_riky - Yesterday / notmargaux - 09:25am
|GRE Argument task for a hobby shop at Grilldon
6 - Shivam, that is exactly my point. If the town of Grilldon is to convince HobCo that there is a...
Graduatepayal1982 - Yesterday / Holt - Yesterday
|Corporation has a responsibility towards society and environment apart from maximizing profits.
6 - @Payal Please what is the essay trying to say.. I mean what do you want addressed in the essay?...
Graduatepayal1982 - Jan 16, 2017 / Knockout - Jan 17, 2017
|How do you anticipate that Shanghai will differentiate your MBA experience?
2 - Pepper, in your first listing, change the term to "Gaining and In-Depth Knowledge of China". The current version of...
Graduatepepperwaston - Jan 17, 2017 / Holt - Jan 17, 2017
|Motivation Letter in communication engineering KTH Sweden.
6 - @Holt thanks a lot for your advice. It really helps me....
Graduatezida - Jan 15, 2017 / zida - Jan 16, 2017
|Motivation Letter - Business Information Systems (MSc Information Studies) - Amsterdam - UvA
7 - I am so relieved to see your comments. Thanks a ton, Holt. Cheers,...
Graduatestalingard - Jan 13, 2017 / stalingard - Jan 15, 2017
|Letter of Motivation for Management & Economics of Innovation Course
3 - @Holt Thank you very much Holt. I really appreciated your comment. I am not assured of my writing...
GraduateStreetwalker - Jan 15, 2017 / Streetwalker - Jan 15, 2017
|Self Assessment Essay for application a position at Risk Advisory in Deloitte
3 - Rolland, I do not really see a strong discussion of your merits or strengths as a potential student at...
Graduaterollandning - Jan 15, 2017 / Holt - Jan 15, 2017
|Letter of Motivation for Quality & Operation Management Graduate Course
9 - @Holt Thank you very much Holt. I will omit the last paragraph as you suggested. I...
GraduateStreetwalker - Jan 14, 2017 / Streetwalker - Jan 15, 2017
|This is an essay for admission to an American university for masters in construction management.
15 - Ratan, the purpose of your enrollment in the masters degree in Construction Management course is still not clear in...
Graduateratan251294 - Jan 12, 2017 / Holt - Jan 14, 2017
|Personal Statement - Management Science / Business Tech / Analytics program
4 - I am not sure about what else can be added in terms of the "Why school" part of the...
Graduatetz35 - Jan 12, 2017 / Holt - Jan 13, 2017
|My essay for applying for Gender studies MA offered by Centeral European University.
9 - Alireza, you should have posted this essay in the other thread since this is a continued conversation of this...
GraduatealiDC - Nov 27, 2016 / Holt - Jan 13, 2017
|Letter of Intent - MFA Child Culture Design - University of Gothenburg
4 - Ade, try to combine the first and last paragraph of your essay in order to create a more informative...
Graduateameadelia - Jan 10, 2017 / Holt - Jan 11, 2017
|Design, graphic and art is in my heart. Statement of Purpose for MFA in Visual Communication @SAIC
4 - Astha, in the second paragraph, there is an implication that you changed college courses / majors. As I see...
Graduateaasthathakkar28 - Jan 10, 2017 / Holt - Jan 11, 2017
|Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far. RISD, MFA Graphic Design SOP
3 - Raman, in all actuality, you have said a lot in your essay without saying anything of substance at all....
GraduateRamanbhandari - Jan 10, 2017 / Holt - Jan 11, 2017
|Personal statement - Master in Analytics - Descriptive analytic to improve businesses' efficiency
13 - Thank you so much @Holt I wish you all the best....
Graduatecatnguyen181 - Jan 7, 2017 / catnguyen181 - Jan 11, 2017
|Nigerian activities and overview. Motivation letter for masters in Telecommunications Engineering
5 - @Holt @chizy7 Here is an improved version. Please take a look at it. Despite the positive trends in...
Graduateokorocyril - Jan 6, 2017 / okorocyril - Jan 9, 2017
|How did you solve a problem and the results? - Texas Austin MSBA Essay
8 - @Holt Thank you so much for the help. I am finalizing this essay....
Graduatepandaman - Jan 6, 2017 / pandaman - Jan 9, 2017
|I am looking for admission in MS in Financial Mathematics. Evaluate my SOP.
Graduateragni - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Jan 7, 2017
|WORKING WITH AUTISTIC CHILDREN. SLP Graduate Program Essay!
11 - Maura, although it is a bit confusing, the fact that you have stood up for your advocacy is clear...
Graduatespeechhopeful - Dec 27, 2016 / Holt - Jan 6, 2017
|Rebuilding Syria - Personal Statement for a Project Management master program
1 - Hi everyone, please help me correct my personal statement for a Project Management master program Rebuilding Syria Through...
GraduateMohanad13 - Jan 6, 2017 / — -
|The master program of my choice: PROJECT MANAGEMENT STUDY OBJECTIVES
5 - @Diazalichsan Thank you very much, I will take your suggestions into consideration. That really helped a lot. Thanks again...
GraduateMohanad13 - Jan 4, 2017 / Mohanad13 - Jan 5, 2017
|I wrote an essay named Tet holiday on my life in Vietnam
2 - Letrang, while there are numerous problems with the grammar that you used in this essay, I would like to...
Graduateletrang2911988 - Jan 5, 2017 / Holt - Jan 5, 2017
|English Essay for graduate school to describe experience with English
4 - Lisa, you should definitely highlight the English living and speaking experience that you had during the two weeks that...
Graduatelisa_severus - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
|The road I chose. SOP Review for PhD Computer Science with Specialization in Artificial Intelligence
4 - In ourearly childhood, ... My heart still go goes on. ... that not many fields of human endeavor can...
GraduateRamblerrose - Dec 28, 2016 / lisa_severus - Jan 4, 2017
|The proseminars in particular attract me. Seeking an advice on Personal Statement for MIT Sloan MFin
7 - Thanks Holt, I agree with you. I think I have already shown what I need to show....
GraduateChiChaChee - Dec 31, 2016 / ChiChaChee - Jan 2, 2017
|Cryptography and Encryption/Decryption techniques intrigued me
3 - Thanks Holt for such a prompt reply,and feedback . Will work on the indicated flaws ....
GraduatePranshu - Jan 2, 2017 / Pranshu - Jan 2, 2017
|MY CAREER PROGRESSION. Statement of Purpose for MSc in UoM
6 - Mary, thanks again for your contributions and Happy New Year !...
Graduateserikbar - Dec 29, 2016 / serikbar - Dec 30, 2016
|Imperial College "Concrete Structures" Personal Statement
9 - @Holt Dear Holt, Yes, I have discussed with him about my plan, and he will write a recommendation...
GraduateEng Phin - Dec 26, 2016 / Eng Phin - Dec 29, 2016
|Apply to get many knowledges, supervisions, materials, networkings, tools, and methodologies
2 - Ahmad, never use the term "I guess" in any essay that you write. That is the voice of uncertainty...
Graduateahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 28, 2016 / Holt - Dec 28, 2016
|ASEAN. Has the foreign ownership the effect of return volatility, trading volume and risk of stock?
1 - Research Proposal, to pursue Ph.D (Body) Introduction and Literature Review The change of return (volatility) surely can...
Graduateahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 28, 2016 / — -
|Personal Statement for a Master in Analytical Sciences and Instrumentation
2 - I recommend you to add introductory statements, such as name, graduated from, etc chemical(hypen)physic maybe the course...
GraduateAndreaNV - Dec 28, 2016 / ahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 28, 2016
|What are you most proud of outside of your professional life? How does it shape who you are today?
3 - Take out "In my view," from the first sentence. It lessens the strength of whatever you say after it...
GraduateSsalman - Dec 19, 2016 / speechhopeful - Dec 27, 2016
|Request for further improvements on my application essays （content, logic...）
6 - Yao, the type of question that you opt to write about should be based upon what you feel your...
Graduateysydiana - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|From Zambia, Namibia and South Africa to the US education for better future of Africa - PhD SOP
2 - Michael, are you a professional student? With that question, what I would like to know is if you are...
Graduatecchiseni - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|The blueprint for my success as an architect. Masters of Building Science Statement of Interest
2 - Nili, this is a pretty solid statement of interest in the Masters of Building Science course. I can clearly...
Graduatenilgoonf - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|"Cloud computing" - it belongs to the area of my interests - SOP essay
3 - @lalodhi Thank you. But do you think it is proper and relevant? Please suggest...
GraduatePoonam Nikam - Dec 26, 2016 / Poonam Nikam - Dec 26, 2016
|List some of the academic and professional differences made by you in your life.
7 - Renu, in the final paragraph, make a reference to how patience and perseverance are the key traits of an...
Graduaterk123 - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Computer Science master application - "why computer science is such an important field for me ?"
3 - Thank you very much for the advises provided, and especially for answering so quickly. I will update the essay...
Graduatedanseattle - Dec 24, 2016 / danseattle - Dec 25, 2016
|"I cried as the sea waves washed away my sand castle. 21 years later, an architect admired the sea!"
7 - @Holt I apologize for late reply. i have come up with full essay for 1000 words, and would like...
Graduatechanchalsingh199 - Dec 1, 2016 / chanchalsingh199 - Dec 25, 2016
|Why is the Texas MSBA? MSBA means Master of Science in Business Analytics.
5 - There is no need to include the information if you have already provided the information question in a different...
Graduateliux3240 - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Understanding neurogenic disorders. SOP - Applying for Masters in Speech Language Pathology.
4 - "My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn't prevent you doing well, and...
Graduateyugi2429 - Dec 23, 2016 / yugi2429 - Dec 25, 2016
|"SAPERE AUDE" - SOP for PhD application - 'to help my people suffer less and live longer'
2 - Sara, when you are writing a statement of purpose, you shouldn't mix information that is meant for your personal...
GraduateSarak - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Motivation Letter for Master of Production Engineering
8 - @Holt after the deletion of the second paragraph here is the result. Manufacturing has been proven to play...
Graduatedreykusuma - Dec 19, 2016 / dreykusuma - Dec 23, 2016
|"The flow of electron" needs your review : SOP for Graduate Programs in Electrical Engineering
3 - Hi Holt, Thanks a lot for your detailed observation and suggestions....
GraduateHjamil - Dec 22, 2016 / Hjamil - Dec 23, 2016
|Machine learning SOP for graduate admission - field change from VLSI
7 - Thanks Holt. I have modified the essay taking in all the suggestions. Yes, as you said, it is only...
Graduateraghunathv - Dec 13, 2016 / raghunathv - Dec 23, 2016
|My fascination by Modeling and Simulation. Statement of Purpose for Master in Computer Science
5 - Biswas, you are talking about changing your career from one to another, unrelated field in this instance. Therefore, it...
GraduateunmattaNath - Dec 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|Drosophila mutants. Margin indent and SOP review PhD genetics
10 - @Holt Ok. Got it. I will be removing the paragraph and adding my research goals etc. Thank you for...
Graduategene29 - Nov 29, 2016 / gene29 - Dec 20, 2016
|He reminds me why I have chosen this major, and why working with children is where I see myself
4 - Lauren, you seem to be a bit apprehensive to deliver the key information that relates to your previous educational...
Graduatelaurenschr - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|Why are you interested in applying for Science of Occupational Health, Safety and the Environment?
8 - Debby, when you write a personal statement, you should take the opportunity to introduce yourself to the reviewer. This...
Graduatedebby17 - Dec 12, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|SOP for Data Science admission; 'to be a successful data scientist with my passion and aspiration'
6 - @Holt Thanks for your suggestion. I'll add publication title and link. I rewrote the 1st paragraph shown as below,...
Graduateyoyofan525 - Dec 13, 2016 / yoyofan525 - Dec 17, 2016
|SOP for Columbia Business School - Career Changer; relations between China, Japan and South Korea
4 - Prasoon, while I will give you advice for this essay at this moment, I advice you to start your...
Graduatekaida0ize - Dec 15, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|SOP for doctoral computer science with concentration on machine learning and robotics
10 - @ichanpants89 thanks...
Graduatepaiania - Dec 14, 2016 / paiania - Dec 15, 2016
|Tell us why you're here...and where you plan to go. Personal Statement for MAC program at UNC
8 - @sunjiayun Your statement is quite generic in that you can replace "UNC" with the name of any other...
Graduatesunjiayun - Dec 6, 2016 / chav - Dec 15, 2016
|My essay on leadership experience, Duke Master of Management Studies 2017
3 - Olivia thank you for your good remarks about this forum. Surely I like your grammar constructions, although there...
GraduateOliviasunsy - Dec 11, 2016 / okorobiadimma14 - Dec 12, 2016
|Why you are a strong candidate for the Western MFE program?
2 - Jingyue, you have to consider that you are applying for a masters degree program. Therefore, you should not be...
Graduateclaircheng - Dec 11, 2016 / Holt - Dec 11, 2016
|I need some advise on my application to ETH Zurich - motivation, area of interest in the Department
4 - Yes, definitely include an overview or summary of your college studies. Mention your accomplishments in that arena as well....
Graduatedragonriderme - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
|Scholarly and research area(s) of interest, experiences that led to your preparation in the field
21 - @Holt Thank you for all the suggestions and assistance! I think I'll leave the essay the way it is...
GraduateShuting - Dec 4, 2016 / Shuting - Dec 8, 2016
|I like numbers, I like stocks, and I like programming. MIT essay.
4 - Hi Steve. With regards to the grammar in the essay, I would have to say that the language you...
GraduateStevexu - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 7, 2016
|Characteristics, motivation and your background - Speech-Language Pathology Personal Statement
2 - Leah, the most important thing you have to remember when writing a statement in response to the question relating...
Graduatelarney10 - Dec 6, 2016 / Holt - Dec 7, 2016
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