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|Urban Design - PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR GRADUATE APPLICATION FOR MASTERS
3 - Thanks Mary. I am not the graduate applicant. I am just helping some people out with their graduate application-pro...
Graduatechizy7 - 13 hours ago / chizy7 - 11 hours ago
|SOP for MSc in Renewable energy to DEVELOP THAILAND
2 - Derndinn, since your purpose for applying to this masters course has to do with a career change, you will...
Graduatederndinn - 12 hours ago / Holt - 12 hours ago
|Personal Statement - Operations Research & Analytics/Business Analytics for university in the UK
2 - Hao, you must skip the presentation of paragraph 3-6 in this essay because that information is not required in...
Graduatenbasuns13 - 14 hours ago / Holt - 14 hours ago
|exceptional learning program' SOP for MS in Cyber Security Program(MSIT) / CMU
2 - Rahul, the first 2 paragraphs of this essay are irrelevant to a masters degree statement of purpose. Those information...
Graduaterk8558703 - Mar 22, 2017 / Holt - Mar 23, 2017
|To be able to handle a business takes time and experience. KGSP - SELF INTRODUCTION
6 - @kimyugyeom Hi! I am not really professional in this kind of work so I just can give you an...
Graduatekimyugyeom - Mar 14, 2017 / Maitouyen282 - Mar 18, 2017
|How your education and work, and life experience will contribute to your classmates' MBA experience
5 - Mary, thanks for your opinion and advice....
Graduateserikbar - Mar 16, 2017 / serikbar - Mar 17, 2017
|UK Engineering - Personal Statement for master course
3 - @ilskyilsky It feels like you are taking the reader through your resume, re-stating the positions you held between 2009...
Graduateilskyilsky - Mar 16, 2017 / serikbar - Mar 16, 2017
|My health and management interest : Statement of Purpose for an MSc in Management
5 - @Holt Thanks for the clarification, I'm definitely taking the advice about the age reference....
Graduateamevialord - Mar 14, 2017 / amevialord - Mar 14, 2017
|Not all heated glass crack. Statement of Purpose for Material Science and Engineering
4 - Saubana, there are a few things that you can still do to improve this essay. The first, is to...
Graduatesolastar2 - Mar 11, 2017 / Holt - Mar 14, 2017
|Underdog wants to sit at the big kids table- University of Miami Graduate Admissions Essay
5 - Eva, the first part of your essay still sounds more like the information came from the brochure or website...
Graduateevaruiz714 - Mar 7, 2017 / Holt - Mar 13, 2017
|Motivation Letter for General Linguistics at Radboud University
10 - Thank you so much @Holt and @d2ny for your help :) :) :)...
Graduatechoerunnisa23 - Feb 16, 2017 / choerunnisa23 - Mar 13, 2017
|To materialize my career goals and aspirations - SOP for Masters in analytics
5 - Kamal, you are not writing an SEO based essay therefore, you do not need to focus on the technical...
Graduatekumar1983 - Mar 10, 2017 / Holt - Mar 11, 2017
|RESUME FOR GRADUATE ADMISSION (without prompt)
2 - Chizaram, you have most of the presentation correct in that the sections are the required information in a resume...
Graduatechizy7 - Mar 10, 2017 / Holt - Mar 11, 2017
|Speech language pathology SOP /explains career change and poor undergrad grades
2 - Trishanne, are you applying for masters degree school acceptance? If so, then you need not worry about your problematic...
GraduateTrishanneth - Mar 10, 2017 / Holt - Mar 10, 2017
|Autobiography for Master of the International Institute of Medical Device Innovation (MDI)
8 - @Holt Hello Mary, After discussing with my mentor, I will rewrite another autobiography. Thank you very much....
Graduatemakila0123 - Mar 8, 2017 / makila0123 - Mar 9, 2017
|My study plan for KGSP 2017 in MSA /Master in Accountancy/
3 - Hello ) I think, you may include specified information (in the paragraph with thesis), such as which methods and...
Graduateazaa1428 - Mar 6, 2017 / SiiaBirill - Mar 9, 2017
|Self introduction for Master degree in different field from undergraduate degree.
5 - Hello) May be you can include the information of your personal character. Not directly, but probably, through some wishes...
Graduatejewjewmabushii - Feb 24, 2017 / SiiaBirill - Mar 9, 2017
|Motivation Letter in Geo-information for Natural Hazards, Risk, and Engineering Master Degree
4 - @Holt Thank you, I'll work on that. @bagusstyawan, thank you, for that sentence i am trying to say...
Graduatehafizfatah - Mar 7, 2017 / hafizfatah - Mar 9, 2017
|My statement of purpose for MS in electrical engineering (Renewable energy) - UK admission
9 - yes I understand. Hats off to your effort,really appreciated. wish you good for up coming essays :)...
GraduateSibil - Mar 6, 2017 / Sibil - Mar 8, 2017
|KGSP Graduate 2017 - Letter of Self-Introduction - Education: to learn and to share
3 - Merysa, your essay is good, but it needs to be better directed in the format that the KGSP requires....
Graduatemeryysaaa - Mar 7, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
|SCAD Statement of Purpose for applying to Graduate MA Illustration or MA Graphic Design
4 - You should try to expand upon the idea regarding how you hope that SCAD can help you find your...
Graduatelekrado - Mar 6, 2017 / Holt - Mar 7, 2017
|Stable career in Bangladesh. Letter of Motivation for Admission in a masters program
3 - @Holt thanks a lot. I actually followed a guideline a friend of mine provided me with who was applying...
GraduateTAhmed - Mar 6, 2017 / TAhmed - Mar 6, 2017
|Three things others do not know about me
3 - @Holt Mary, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I was considering including "talking to myself out loud when I'm alone"...
Graduateserikbar - Mar 4, 2017 / serikbar - Mar 6, 2017
|The Study Plan for Consulate General of Canada - recommended educational direction
10 - I was just informed by General Consulate of Canada in Hochiminh that they have approved for my study plan...
Graduatehenrychen - Jan 23, 2017 / henrychen - Mar 6, 2017
|The best curriculum that suits my needs. Need Assistance for KGSP Self Introduction Essay Evaluation
6 - Krishna, this essay is complete and detailed enough to stand as a comprehensive self introduction essay. While it seems...
Graduatesoosil - Feb 27, 2017 / Holt - Mar 5, 2017
|USC Marshall / What's the hardest thing you have ever done?
4 - The essay does not express industrious task you have suffered. I believe you should express how hard you tried...
GraduateIanthexx - Feb 27, 2017 / paras01 - Mar 3, 2017
|I've been told that women can not have a career in surgery. SOP for a British university
5 - Thank very much Mary. I knew that there are mistakes in my essay. I will rewrite as you recommended....
GraduateSal70000 - Mar 1, 2017 / Sal70000 - Mar 2, 2017
|'formulating natural products drugs' KGSP Letter of Introduction
11 - @Holt Thank you so much for your time...
Graduatenono15 - Feb 28, 2017 / nono15 - Mar 2, 2017
|Korea; developing myself in the country's culture and language. KGSP Study Plan Draft
3 - @Holt Thank you for pointing out the minor issues and concluding that my essay is in a flawless...
Graduatesugartown0829 - Mar 1, 2017 / sugartown0829 - Mar 1, 2017
|The Korean Millennial's View of Young Adult Literature. Study Plan Proposal Title
6 - Hello this is my draft for my Study Plan. I used some of the things you pointed out in...
Graduatesugartown0829 - Feb 28, 2017 / sugartown0829 - Feb 28, 2017
|I am applying for KGSP so kindly view my self introduction letter
3 - Muhammad, your essay fails to explain the reasons why you feel a strong desire to study a masters degree...
Graduatekhan5885880 - Feb 28, 2017 / Holt - Feb 28, 2017
|"White Opulence"; My passion for literary creation and analysis. KGSP Self -Introduction
10 - There is only one more thing missing from your essay that needs to be included before you continue to...
Graduatesugartown0829 - Feb 27, 2017 / Holt - Feb 28, 2017
|My Statement of Purpose for MSc Information Systems at King AbdulAziz University, Jeddah, KSA
3 - @Holt Thank you very much for your review, sir. I'll try to add more to this essay and make...
Graduateharis182 - Feb 20, 2017 / haris182 - Feb 27, 2017
|Persevering my dream. Self Introduction Letter for Graduate School.
5 - @pb1013 I think you don't need to mention your name and age as you will be mentioning it on...
Graduatepb1013 - Feb 23, 2017 / cj24 - Feb 27, 2017
|Design Academy Eindhoven. Statement of motivation and expectations concerning the programme
2 - Priyanka, why do you speak of your professional experience in past tense? Are you currently unemployed? If you are...
Graduatesunborn - Feb 26, 2017 / Holt - Feb 27, 2017
|'hungry for an abyss of knowledge in Chemistry' - SOP for masters in Energy Technology
2 - Pradeep, since you are switching careers, the first thing you have to do in the statement of purpose is...
GraduatePradeep Eswaran - Feb 26, 2017 / Holt - Feb 26, 2017
|An Email to Preferred Supervisor - Requirement to apply Master Degree in Japan
7 - In the first paragraph, when you open the statement, talk about thinking about doing research before you tell the...
Graduateuta - Feb 14, 2017 / Holt - Feb 26, 2017
|Mathematics education - Statement of purpose for grad school
8 - So it was deleted? I'll post the next revision on a new thread then. Thank you! YES IT WAS...
Graduateanne09 - Feb 25, 2017 / anne09 - Feb 26, 2017
|My background, research experience and motivation. Review my Statement of Purpose for pursuing phd
3 - @Holt thanks for review. It is my first time.. I'll try to make changes as you told. Hopefully you'll...
Graduatemlohano - Feb 25, 2017 / mlohano - Feb 25, 2017
|350 words|Personal Statement for MS in Entrepreneurship and Innovation of USC
9 - @Holt Hi holt, Thanks for your revising tips. I will incorporate your advices into the final draft and...
GraduateIanthexx - Feb 23, 2017 / Ianthexx - Feb 25, 2017
|The journey from a Plant Engineer to an Entrepreneur. SOP for supply chain management
2 - Deepain, the first thing you have to do with this essay is shorten the length. This is too long...
Graduatedeepain - Feb 24, 2017 / Holt - Feb 25, 2017
|Health, education, nutrition. Study & Future Plans Abroad Essay
3 - Ana, these are supposed to be written as 2 separate essays composed of one page each. The study plan...
Graduatepb1013 - Feb 23, 2017 / Holt - Feb 24, 2017
|Emerging care system market for the elderly in Taiwan. SOP for Actuarial Science in the USA
3 - OK, I see. I will try it. thanks for your suggestion.[/b][/b]...
Graduaterobin963a - Feb 22, 2017 / robin963a - Feb 22, 2017
|This is an essay for admission to an American university for masters in construction management.
29 - Like I said, this essay is good enough to submit. You have done your best to represent your intentions...
Graduateratan251294 - Jan 12, 2017 / Holt - Feb 21, 2017
|Statement of purpose for Master's course in English Linguistics/ English Literatures and Cultures
3 - I am very grateful to you for your priceless advice. I will definitely follow it. Thank you...
Graduatealinakarimova714 - Feb 14, 2017 / alinakarimova714 - Feb 20, 2017
|Goals to implement; being professional means being successful
5 - Here is the thing, you are writing a post study plan and yo have to be truthful about this...
Graduatelukme - Feb 13, 2017 / Holt - Feb 18, 2017
|LSE. You must present a personal statement with your application form, between 1,000 and 1,500 words
15 - Holt, I will make that final adjustment and get ready to send it off. Thank you very much for...
GraduateZak Cannon - Feb 11, 2017 / Zak Cannon - Feb 17, 2017
|London School of Economics personal statement Master in finance
2 - Erik, the personal statement is not an extension of your resume. So remove all of the parts of the...
Graduateewmansil - Feb 15, 2017 / Holt - Feb 15, 2017
|To make India independent of fossil fuels; Motivational letter for Masters in Renewable Energy
5 - Malika, your letter doesn't really work very well because you have presented too much information in it. a motivational...
GraduateMalavika Venu - Feb 8, 2017 / Holt - Feb 12, 2017
|Like potato chips - you can never have just one. SCAD Graduate Admissions Essay for Animation
4 - Colinda, I would like to say that your approach to sentence construction is awesome. This means that if you...
GraduateMintyFresh - Feb 10, 2017 / okorobiadimma14 - Feb 11, 2017
|Great interest on computer science - SOP: M.Sc. in Artificial Intelligence
4 - @Holt @ichanpants89 Thank you so much for your help I will absolutely make the changes and see how it...
Graduatebonifacechacha - Feb 7, 2017 / bonifacechacha - Feb 8, 2017
|Motivation Letter for Master in Business Administration to Radboud University
6 - Having work experience normally helps in your application. Usually masters degree students have worked in their field of interest...
Graduatehrasky - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 7, 2017
|Math level in Philipinnes and Korea. Scholarship Application - Letter of Self Introduction
4 - At this point, you actually have two options. The first of which is, that you try to revise the...
Graduatekey03 - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
|My idea about petroleum. Personal Statement for Graduate Admission
8 - You've got a number of unnecessary paragraphs and sentences in this essay which caused you to go overboard in...
GraduateWales931 - Jan 30, 2017 / Holt - Feb 3, 2017
|Losing the moment chasing the goal
8 - The prompt for the self introduction essay for the KGSP program actually encourages you to relate as much as...
Graduatelukme - Jan 29, 2017 / Holt - Feb 3, 2017
|Master of Public Health SOP: refugee beginnings to HPM aspirations (Reproductive/Maternal health)
2 - SamY, the anecdote is too long. It is not something that actually helps to increase the interest in your...
Graduatereapernanashi - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
|Personal Statement for Master of Science in Business Analytics at George Washington University
3 - Ran, work in the reference to your current firm into the current second paragraph. That will allow the introduction...
GraduateFreyaRan - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
|Essays for an application to school program - set-back experienced
2 - Sara, we have a one essay per thread policy in this forum which is strictly implemented so I will...
Graduatesarabaughman - Jan 31, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
|On my way to the Master's program in Digital Marketing in Smurfit School
4 - Thanks a ton for your comments. I am revising my essay to make it look better. :) @Holt...
GraduateThu Pham - Jan 29, 2017 / Thu Pham - Feb 1, 2017
|Statement of purpose for MS in electrical engineering in USA, the field of VLSI designing technology
8 - Explain that you are changing careers. Include information about your previous career in an overview method. Then relate it...
Graduateutsi - Jan 21, 2017 / Holt - Jan 30, 2017
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