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|Why do I want to pursue Coastal Science and Policy? My passion for marine conservation
5 - Thanks Holt I am trying to understand the refernce of family participation you made. There is no mention of...
Graduatesam1982 - 18 hours ago / sam1982 - 6 hours ago
|Personal Statement for UCL Masters Financial Risk Management - why this program and school?
5 - Dear all, please find below my revised personal statement. As always, greatly appreciate any feedback to improve my statement....
Graduatejtankx - Dec 6, 2017 / jtankx - 10 hours ago
|Focused on the why I want to pursue the master's degree than giving too much of a story
6 - I have added this:- As I detailed in my Statement of Purpose, while scientific research is one of...
Graduatesam1982 - 18 hours ago / sam1982 - 13 hours ago
|Personal statement for LSE- Master in risk and finance
Graduateetyu10 - 1 day ago / May54 - 14 hours ago
|We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done. Statement
5 - I myself am struggling with writing an SOP but as Holt as mentioned the feedback I have been getting...
GraduateanalyticsGuy - 2 days ago / sam1982 - 18 hours ago
|My appetite for designing led me for this program - CMU Product design
GraduateYashwanth2395 - Dec 11, 2017 / sam1982 - 18 hours ago
|Too Little time too many choices - Personal Statement for the MSC program
3 - Thank you Holt, since I did a a different version which talks more about the reason why and focuses...
Graduatesam1982 - 1 day ago / sam1982 - 18 hours ago
|Creating the next Apple Siri - SoP for CMU MS in Language Technologies
3 - Hi Holt. Thanks a lot for those wonderful suggestions. I took them very seriously and I am not sharing...
Graduatevijendra4 - Dec 12, 2017 / vijendra4 - 1 day ago
|My interest in marketing. Personal Statement for applying a marketing master programme
3 - @Holt Thank you for your kindly help! I think your pieces of advice are really helpful. Due to your...
Graduatexujiaying - Dec 10, 2017 / xujiaying - Dec 12, 2017
|STATEMENT OF PURPOSE (SOP) FOR MS IN CS - PASSION IN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
3 - @Holt Thank you for your valuable insights. I would like to say that I don't have any internship experience....
Graduateimpatient101 - Dec 10, 2017 / impatient101 - Dec 12, 2017
|Personal Statement for LSHTM - MSc Int Health and Tropical Med
4 - Dear Mary, thanks for your feedback. I see the weaknesses that you pointed out and have revised the essay....
GraduateXti02 - Dec 10, 2017 / Xti02 - Dec 11, 2017
|The essay for USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism
8 - @Holt As the secretary of sports deparent in Student Union, I had been bothered for a long time...
GraduateRiven_Bu - Nov 30, 2017 / Riven_Bu - Dec 11, 2017
|My motivation for attending the Embedded Computing Systems Programme
4 - @nelly12345 Hi ! I think in the beginning, you could give your genuine motivation about why you and your...
Graduatenelly12345 - Dec 10, 2017 / kukas90 - Dec 10, 2017
|Essay about Duke twenty five random facts
3 - @Holt Thank you for your helpful suggestions. I have removed those trivia not relevant to me and made some...
Graduateetyu10 - Dec 9, 2017 / etyu10 - Dec 10, 2017
|Statement of Purpose for US University (NanoEngineering, Ph.D.)
2 - Hu, this is a pretty strong and intricate personal statement. In terms of information presented, you have covered all...
Graduatehuyaoqiao - Dec 8, 2017 / Holt - Dec 8, 2017
|I am ready to pursue a higher academic degree - Personal statement
2 - Jin, this is still an academic related presentation that relates to your statement of purpose. You were asked to...
Graduatewangjin - Dec 8, 2017 / Holt - Dec 8, 2017
|LSE Msc Finance essay-I want to make an impact in the financial industry
5 - Hello everyone, I revised the essay on your advice. Below is my second draft, hope you can read it...
Graduateyxhzxp - Dec 7, 2017 / yxhzxp - Dec 7, 2017
|Personal Statement for MSc in Clinical Immunology in an university in the UK
6 - @Holt Mary, thank you very much for your insight. I am uploading it to Grammarly right now to correct...
Graduatetika89 - Nov 2, 2017 / tika89 - Dec 7, 2017
|"My mom watched Power Puff girls with me" Statement of intent SVA - Computer ART
3 - @Holt Thank you Holt Your feedback is really helpful for my SOP!! I will try to read more sop...
Graduateannie6079 - Dec 6, 2017 / annie6079 - Dec 7, 2017
|SOP. I aspire to take up a role within an organization where I can effectively utilize my skills
GraduateYasha - Dec 3, 2017 / Holt - Dec 3, 2017
|A successful researcher from Africa. Statement of Purpose (Business Administration, PhD)
2 - Kweweli , since you are applying to be admitted to a PhD program without the prerequisite MS degree, you...
GraduateEscha - Dec 3, 2017 / Holt - Dec 3, 2017
|Personal Statement for a UK University - Marketing Master Level
3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your sincere advise, dear. I thought I should mention something that I have...
GraduateMariamM - Dec 1, 2017 / MariamM - Dec 1, 2017
|Olin business school Master of Finance required essay--- I want to learn real expertise
Graduateyxhzxp - Nov 27, 2017 / yxhzxp - Dec 1, 2017
|Statement of Purpose for M.Sc. application to UK universities - Mathematics
GraduateDylan620 - Nov 30, 2017 / Dylan620 - Nov 30, 2017
|Statement of Purpose for Master of Science in Chemical Engineering Practice
5 - @admission2012 thanks for your kind comments and valuable suggestions. I have implemented like you suggested. Looked really better after...
GraduateWiGiG - Nov 28, 2017 / WiGiG - Nov 30, 2017
|PT PROMPT: what qualities do you feel are necessary for success as a physical therapist?
4 - As the patient performed her exercises ... ->The following is my suggestion of the sentence ->The significant...
GraduateAnirtak - Nov 29, 2017 / Erica Tin - Nov 30, 2017
|Explanation for poor grades during study abroad program and GRE - Extenuating situation statements.
5 - @admission2012 Thanks for the feedback. That definitely gives me an absolutely new point of view to how I to...
Graduateekngen22 - Nov 27, 2017 / ekngen22 - Nov 30, 2017
|Statement of Purpose- DIGITAL MEDIA/INTERACTIVE ARTS #draft-1
2 - Mohit, do not try to pass off a personal statement as a statement of purpose. One cannot replace the...
Graduatems02 - Nov 28, 2017 / Holt - Nov 29, 2017
|Personal statement for computer science MS program with interest in Machine Learning
6 - @Holt Hi Mary, thanks for your suggestion, sorry that I replied you late. First of all, I would...
GraduateElaine9668 - Nov 21, 2017 / Elaine9668 - Nov 27, 2017
|SOP for Masters in Computer Science with Interest in Computer Vision and Machine Learning
4 - Hello Forum Members, I am applying for Masters in Computer Science at ETH Zurich. Above SOP is the...
Graduateparikagoel - Nov 23, 2017 / parikagoel - Nov 26, 2017
|SOP for Masters in Computer Science with Machine Learning Specialization
2 - Zahil, try to create a more purpose driven essay. After all, this is supposed to be a Statement of...
Graduatevazhipokkan - Nov 25, 2017 / Holt - Nov 26, 2017
|SOP for Data Science Admission; What exactly is a hacker?
4 - Hi all, I've taken your advice and modified my essay accordingly, could you all please check the 2nd version...
Graduatezy16373 - Nov 20, 2017 / zy16373 - Nov 25, 2017
|Motivation Letter for a Scholarship application to study in Ms.c Computer Science.
GraduateOluwatomisin1 - Nov 23, 2017 / zy16373 - Nov 24, 2017
|STATEMENT OF PURPOSE WITH REGARDS TO MASTERS PROGRAM IN ROBOTICS
GraduatePhantom_lord - Nov 20, 2017 / Phantom_lord - Nov 21, 2017
|Interest is in the area of artificial intelligence, with machine learning and machine perception SOP
5 - @Holt Thank you for your clear explanation. I am always confused about their relationship. I think next step I...
Graduatepapaver - Nov 16, 2017 / papaver - Nov 20, 2017
|I'm applying to top computer science MS programs hoping to study (and research) machine learning
4 - @isrxz Hi, you can also add group projects in machine learning that you have worked on outside of school...
Graduateisrxz - Nov 18, 2017 / keneshuku - Nov 19, 2017
|Motivation letter to Graduate School of East Asian Studies, Free Univ Berlin
Graduatedelelse - Nov 17, 2017 / delelse - Nov 18, 2017
|My goal is researching in the area of demanding automotive sector using machine learning techniques
4 - @Holt what about this? thank you in advance! ============================== My research interests lie primarily in the area of...
Graduatebs900004 - Nov 16, 2017 / bs900004 - Nov 17, 2017
|Personal statement to Brunel University. Engineering's resources and programs fit to my career goals
GraduateNimo234 - Nov 16, 2017 / Nimo234 - Nov 17, 2017
|Essay for Erasmus program specializing in environment and innovation.
2 - Alavy, you are complicating the essay far more than you have to. Why can't you just respond to the...
Graduateraidaakr - Nov 16, 2017 / Holt - Nov 16, 2017
|Purpose statement for MS business analytics and Information Management (with passion in agriculture)
Graduateyingchen1234 - Nov 15, 2017 / yingchen1234 - Nov 16, 2017
|ERASMUS essay for program that focuses on environmental policy and planning
4 - @naseernasrati Thank you for your input! :) @Holt Thanks for the suggestion, I revised the essay, could you...
Graduateraidaakr - Nov 14, 2017 / raidaakr - Nov 15, 2017
|Challenges you faced, and the strengths you brought from contacting someone with different beliefs
3 - @Holt Thanks for your suggestion! Actually a story about how i deal with the relationship between a vegetarian friend...
Graduatefordreamschool - Nov 14, 2017 / fordreamschool - Nov 15, 2017
|Personal Statement for University of Manchester's SEED Masters degree - level of formality
Graduatemtslep - Nov 13, 2017 / mtslep - Nov 14, 2017
|Sustainable Development Statement of Purpose
4 - @aru1403 Thank you for the corrections, I changed them. @Holt I think I didn't quite understand what you meant....
Graduateasalama - Nov 8, 2017 / asalama - Nov 14, 2017
|SOP: A brief description of you, your background, and interest in mechanical engineering...
3 - @Holt Should an Sop discuss about the history of your work, or should it discuss about the emotions and...
Graduateashton619 - Nov 12, 2017 / ashton619 - Nov 14, 2017
|SOP for IST master program of PSU
2 - Wang, this is a highly interesting personal statement. This is not a statement of purpose. Put a pin in...
Graduateshwwang - Nov 14, 2017 / Holt - Nov 14, 2017
|Why graduate program, area of specialization, past academic work, plans for future occupation - SOP
3 - Hello @Holt! Thank you for your feedback. The advice I have received from professors regarding professional writing was...
Graduatekratzercanby - Nov 13, 2017 / kratzercanby - Nov 13, 2017
|Statement of Purpose for graduate admission in Computer Science at University of Texas at Austin
2 - Avinash, your essay could use some shortening in the sense that the first two paragraphs are just irrelevant back...
Graduatekavinash366 - Nov 12, 2017 / Holt - Nov 13, 2017
|Pursuing graduate studies in Computer Science (Machine Learning), aspiration to become a professor
3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. First of all, I would add more info about the published paper, this...
GraduateAlibi - Nov 11, 2017 / Alibi - Nov 12, 2017
|University Application - 1 to 1.5 page general SOP - Master of Business Analytics
2 - Vincen, your first 2 paragraphs are really creating an unnecessarily long statement of purpose. Those information may be omitted...
Graduatevmathaia - Nov 11, 2017 / Holt - Nov 12, 2017
|Statement of Purpose for graduate school application in Behavioral Economics (US)
3 - Holt, I greatly appreciated your kind words and sincere comments. I will try to adopt your suggestion and...
Graduatesherlyn_b - Nov 8, 2017 / sherlyn_b - Nov 9, 2017
|Where will you go if you had a ticket? - Prompt C for Texas Apply Universities
2 - Arushi, while this whimsical essay shows the reviewer something significant about your upbringing, I feel that the topic being...
Graduatearu1403 - Nov 9, 2017 / Holt - Nov 9, 2017
|Continuing education in Korea by pursuing a graduate degree in Cultural-Art Business Administration
6 - @Holt Okay, I'll keep working on it, remove some of the more unnecessary elements, and rearrange my points to...
Graduatekj1187 - Nov 7, 2017 / kj1187 - Nov 8, 2017
|Analog/RF IC is an art which has high design flexibility - SOP for PHD in analog IC in USA
3 - @Holt, Your suggestion enlightens me and I did not realize the problem when I structured my writing. However, there...
Graduatephyllis - Nov 6, 2017 / phyllis - Nov 7, 2017
|I am 27 years old male from Uzbekistan - introduction essay for graduating admission
Graduatezokhidovm - Nov 5, 2017 / Jimmy879873 - Nov 7, 2017
|UIC is the most natural vertical progression for me. My SOP for MSBA (Analytics) in North America
Graduatedebargha - Oct 29, 2017 / phyllis - Nov 5, 2017
|Columbia MPH in Sociomedical Sciences Personal Statement
2 - Tracy, your essay will fall under the prompt requirements much better if you remove the first two paragraphs that...
Graduatediffuse - Nov 5, 2017 / Holt - Nov 5, 2017
|The highly qualified faculty members and their research work in different fields has impressed me
2 - Pradeepika, you might want to consider discussing more of your college academic achievements in this essay. That will allow...
GraduateDeepika04 - Nov 4, 2017 / Holt - Nov 4, 2017
|A General SOP for MS in Computer Science
3 - @Holt Thank you for your sincere advice! I have read some related sop as well as corresponding comments and...
Graduateec2ez4rd - Nov 2, 2017 / ec2ez4rd - Nov 3, 2017
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