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Writing admission and application essays for graduate school

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'Our personality is the average of the five people with whom we spend most of our time'; GRE Task

3 - @shiv_riky Hi there. As Holt said, you do have a strong essay and I agree with her recommendations. ...

Graduateshiv_riky - Yesterday / notmargaux - 09:25am
GRE Argument task for a hobby shop at Grilldon

6 - Shivam, that is exactly my point. If the town of Grilldon is to convince HobCo that there is a...

Graduatepayal1982 - Yesterday / Holt - Yesterday
Corporation has a responsibility towards society and environment apart from maximizing profits.

6 - @Payal Please what is the essay trying to say.. I mean what do you want addressed in the essay?...

Graduatepayal1982 - Jan 16, 2017 / Knockout - Jan 17, 2017
How do you anticipate that Shanghai will differentiate your MBA experience?

2 - Pepper, in your first listing, change the term to "Gaining and In-Depth Knowledge of China". The current version of...

Graduatepepperwaston - Jan 17, 2017 / Holt - Jan 17, 2017
Motivation Letter in communication engineering KTH Sweden.

6 - @Holt thanks a lot for your advice. It really helps me....

Graduatezida - Jan 15, 2017 / zida - Jan 16, 2017
Motivation Letter - Business Information Systems (MSc Information Studies) - Amsterdam - UvA

7 - I am so relieved to see your comments. Thanks a ton, Holt. Cheers,...

Graduatestalingard - Jan 13, 2017 / stalingard - Jan 15, 2017
Letter of Motivation for Management & Economics of Innovation Course

3 - @Holt Thank you very much Holt. I really appreciated your comment. I am not assured of my writing...

GraduateStreetwalker - Jan 15, 2017 / Streetwalker - Jan 15, 2017
Self Assessment Essay for application a position at Risk Advisory in Deloitte

3 - Rolland, I do not really see a strong discussion of your merits or strengths as a potential student at...

Graduaterollandning - Jan 15, 2017 / Holt - Jan 15, 2017
Letter of Motivation for Quality & Operation Management Graduate Course

9 - @Holt Thank you very much Holt. I will omit the last paragraph as you suggested. I...

GraduateStreetwalker - Jan 14, 2017 / Streetwalker - Jan 15, 2017
This is an essay for admission to an American university for masters in construction management.

15 - Ratan, the purpose of your enrollment in the masters degree in Construction Management course is still not clear in...

Graduateratan251294 - Jan 12, 2017 / Holt - Jan 14, 2017
Personal Statement - Management Science / Business Tech / Analytics program

4 - I am not sure about what else can be added in terms of the "Why school" part of the...

Graduatetz35 - Jan 12, 2017 / Holt - Jan 13, 2017
My essay for applying for Gender studies MA offered by Centeral European University.

9 - Alireza, you should have posted this essay in the other thread since this is a continued conversation of this...

GraduatealiDC - Nov 27, 2016 / Holt - Jan 13, 2017
Letter of Intent - MFA Child Culture Design - University of Gothenburg

4 - Ade, try to combine the first and last paragraph of your essay in order to create a more informative...

Graduateameadelia - Jan 10, 2017 / Holt - Jan 11, 2017
Design, graphic and art is in my heart. Statement of Purpose for MFA in Visual Communication @SAIC

4 - Astha, in the second paragraph, there is an implication that you changed college courses / majors. As I see...

Graduateaasthathakkar28 - Jan 10, 2017 / Holt - Jan 11, 2017
Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far. RISD, MFA Graphic Design SOP

3 - Raman, in all actuality, you have said a lot in your essay without saying anything of substance at all....

GraduateRamanbhandari - Jan 10, 2017 / Holt - Jan 11, 2017
Personal statement - Master in Analytics - Descriptive analytic to improve businesses' efficiency

13 - Thank you so much @Holt I wish you all the best....

Graduatecatnguyen181 - Jan 7, 2017 / catnguyen181 - Jan 11, 2017
Nigerian activities and overview. Motivation letter for masters in Telecommunications Engineering

5 - @Holt @chizy7 Here is an improved version. Please take a look at it. Despite the positive trends in...

Graduateokorocyril - Jan 6, 2017 / okorocyril - Jan 9, 2017
How did you solve a problem and the results? - Texas Austin MSBA Essay

8 - @Holt Thank you so much for the help. I am finalizing this essay....

Graduatepandaman - Jan 6, 2017 / pandaman - Jan 9, 2017
I am looking for admission in MS in Financial Mathematics. Evaluate my SOP.

9 - Ragni, unfortunately, your request cannot be accommodated. We have a strict privacy policy at this forum regarding the non-sharing...

Graduateragni - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Jan 7, 2017
WORKING WITH AUTISTIC CHILDREN. SLP Graduate Program Essay!

11 - Maura, although it is a bit confusing, the fact that you have stood up for your advocacy is clear...

Graduatespeechhopeful - Dec 27, 2016 / Holt - Jan 6, 2017
Rebuilding Syria - Personal Statement for a Project Management master program

1 - Hi everyone, please help me correct my personal statement for a Project Management master program Rebuilding Syria Through...

GraduateMohanad13 - Jan 6, 2017 / — -
The master program of my choice: PROJECT MANAGEMENT STUDY OBJECTIVES

5 - @Diazalichsan Thank you very much, I will take your suggestions into consideration. That really helped a lot. Thanks again...

GraduateMohanad13 - Jan 4, 2017 / Mohanad13 - Jan 5, 2017
I wrote an essay named Tet holiday on my life in Vietnam

2 - Letrang, while there are numerous problems with the grammar that you used in this essay, I would like to...

Graduateletrang2911988 - Jan 5, 2017 / Holt - Jan 5, 2017
English Essay for graduate school to describe experience with English

4 - Lisa, you should definitely highlight the English living and speaking experience that you had during the two weeks that...

Graduatelisa_severus - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
The road I chose. SOP Review for PhD Computer Science with Specialization in Artificial Intelligence

4 - In ourearly childhood, ... My heart still go goes on. ... that not many fields of human endeavor can...

GraduateRamblerrose - Dec 28, 2016 / lisa_severus - Jan 4, 2017
The proseminars in particular attract me. Seeking an advice on Personal Statement for MIT Sloan MFin

7 - Thanks Holt, I agree with you. I think I have already shown what I need to show....

GraduateChiChaChee - Dec 31, 2016 / ChiChaChee - Jan 2, 2017
Cryptography and Encryption/Decryption techniques intrigued me

3 - Thanks Holt for such a prompt reply,and feedback . Will work on the indicated flaws ....

GraduatePranshu - Jan 2, 2017 / Pranshu - Jan 2, 2017
MY CAREER PROGRESSION. Statement of Purpose for MSc in UoM

6 - Mary, thanks again for your contributions and Happy New Year !...

Graduateserikbar - Dec 29, 2016 / serikbar - Dec 30, 2016
Imperial College "Concrete Structures" Personal Statement

9 - @Holt Dear Holt, Yes, I have discussed with him about my plan, and he will write a recommendation...

GraduateEng Phin - Dec 26, 2016 / Eng Phin - Dec 29, 2016
Apply to get many knowledges, supervisions, materials, networkings, tools, and methodologies

2 - Ahmad, never use the term "I guess" in any essay that you write. That is the voice of uncertainty...

Graduateahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 28, 2016 / Holt - Dec 28, 2016
ASEAN. Has the foreign ownership the effect of return volatility, trading volume and risk of stock?

1 - Research Proposal, to pursue Ph.D (Body) Introduction and Literature Review The change of return (volatility) surely can...

Graduateahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 28, 2016 / — -
Personal Statement for a Master in Analytical Sciences and Instrumentation

2 - I recommend you to add introductory statements, such as name, graduated from, etc chemical(hypen)physic maybe the course...

GraduateAndreaNV - Dec 28, 2016 / ahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 28, 2016
What are you most proud of outside of your professional life? How does it shape who you are today?

3 - Take out "In my view," from the first sentence. It lessens the strength of whatever you say after it...

GraduateSsalman - Dec 19, 2016 / speechhopeful - Dec 27, 2016
Request for further improvements on my application essays (content, logic...)

6 - Yao, the type of question that you opt to write about should be based upon what you feel your...

Graduateysydiana - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
From Zambia, Namibia and South Africa to the US education for better future of Africa - PhD SOP

2 - Michael, are you a professional student? With that question, what I would like to know is if you are...

Graduatecchiseni - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
The blueprint for my success as an architect. Masters of Building Science Statement of Interest

2 - Nili, this is a pretty solid statement of interest in the Masters of Building Science course. I can clearly...

Graduatenilgoonf - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
"Cloud computing" - it belongs to the area of my interests - SOP essay

3 - @lalodhi Thank you. But do you think it is proper and relevant? Please suggest...

GraduatePoonam Nikam - Dec 26, 2016 / Poonam Nikam - Dec 26, 2016
List some of the academic and professional differences made by you in your life.

7 - Renu, in the final paragraph, make a reference to how patience and perseverance are the key traits of an...

Graduaterk123 - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
Computer Science master application - "why computer science is such an important field for me ?"

3 - Thank you very much for the advises provided, and especially for answering so quickly. I will update the essay...

Graduatedanseattle - Dec 24, 2016 / danseattle - Dec 25, 2016
"I cried as the sea waves washed away my sand castle. 21 years later, an architect admired the sea!"

7 - @Holt I apologize for late reply. i have come up with full essay for 1000 words, and would like...

Graduatechanchalsingh199 - Dec 1, 2016 / chanchalsingh199 - Dec 25, 2016
Why is the Texas MSBA? MSBA means Master of Science in Business Analytics.

5 - There is no need to include the information if you have already provided the information question in a different...

Graduateliux3240 - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
Understanding neurogenic disorders. SOP - Applying for Masters in Speech Language Pathology.

4 - "My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn't prevent you doing well, and...

Graduateyugi2429 - Dec 23, 2016 / yugi2429 - Dec 25, 2016
"SAPERE AUDE" - SOP for PhD application - 'to help my people suffer less and live longer'

2 - Sara, when you are writing a statement of purpose, you shouldn't mix information that is meant for your personal...

GraduateSarak - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
Motivation Letter for Master of Production Engineering

8 - @Holt after the deletion of the second paragraph here is the result. Manufacturing has been proven to play...

Graduatedreykusuma - Dec 19, 2016 / dreykusuma - Dec 23, 2016
"The flow of electron" needs your review : SOP for Graduate Programs in Electrical Engineering

3 - Hi Holt, Thanks a lot for your detailed observation and suggestions....

GraduateHjamil - Dec 22, 2016 / Hjamil - Dec 23, 2016
Machine learning SOP for graduate admission - field change from VLSI

7 - Thanks Holt. I have modified the essay taking in all the suggestions. Yes, as you said, it is only...

Graduateraghunathv - Dec 13, 2016 / raghunathv - Dec 23, 2016
My fascination by Modeling and Simulation. Statement of Purpose for Master in Computer Science

5 - Biswas, you are talking about changing your career from one to another, unrelated field in this instance. Therefore, it...

GraduateunmattaNath - Dec 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
Drosophila mutants. Margin indent and SOP review PhD genetics

10 - @Holt Ok. Got it. I will be removing the paragraph and adding my research goals etc. Thank you for...

Graduategene29 - Nov 29, 2016 / gene29 - Dec 20, 2016
He reminds me why I have chosen this major, and why working with children is where I see myself

4 - Lauren, you seem to be a bit apprehensive to deliver the key information that relates to your previous educational...

Graduatelaurenschr - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
Why are you interested in applying for Science of Occupational Health, Safety and the Environment?

8 - Debby, when you write a personal statement, you should take the opportunity to introduce yourself to the reviewer. This...

Graduatedebby17 - Dec 12, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
SOP for Data Science admission; 'to be a successful data scientist with my passion and aspiration'

6 - @Holt Thanks for your suggestion. I'll add publication title and link. I rewrote the 1st paragraph shown as below,...

Graduateyoyofan525 - Dec 13, 2016 / yoyofan525 - Dec 17, 2016
SOP for Columbia Business School - Career Changer; relations between China, Japan and South Korea

4 - Prasoon, while I will give you advice for this essay at this moment, I advice you to start your...

Graduatekaida0ize - Dec 15, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
SOP for doctoral computer science with concentration on machine learning and robotics

10 - @ichanpants89 thanks...

Graduatepaiania - Dec 14, 2016 / paiania - Dec 15, 2016
Tell us why you're here...and where you plan to go. Personal Statement for MAC program at UNC

8 - @sunjiayun Your statement is quite generic in that you can replace "UNC" with the name of any other...

Graduatesunjiayun - Dec 6, 2016 / chav - Dec 15, 2016
My essay on leadership experience, Duke Master of Management Studies 2017

3 - Olivia thank you for your good remarks about this forum. Surely I like your grammar constructions, although there...

GraduateOliviasunsy - Dec 11, 2016 / okorobiadimma14 - Dec 12, 2016
Why you are a strong candidate for the Western MFE program?

2 - Jingyue, you have to consider that you are applying for a masters degree program. Therefore, you should not be...

Graduateclaircheng - Dec 11, 2016 / Holt - Dec 11, 2016
I need some advise on my application to ETH Zurich - motivation, area of interest in the Department

4 - Yes, definitely include an overview or summary of your college studies. Mention your accomplishments in that arena as well....

Graduatedragonriderme - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
Scholarly and research area(s) of interest, experiences that led to your preparation in the field

21 - @Holt Thank you for all the suggestions and assistance! I think I'll leave the essay the way it is...

GraduateShuting - Dec 4, 2016 / Shuting - Dec 8, 2016
I like numbers, I like stocks, and I like programming. MIT essay.

4 - Hi Steve. With regards to the grammar in the essay, I would have to say that the language you...

GraduateStevexu - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 7, 2016
Characteristics, motivation and your background - Speech-Language Pathology Personal Statement

2 - Leah, the most important thing you have to remember when writing a statement in response to the question relating...

Graduatelarney10 - Dec 6, 2016 / Holt - Dec 7, 2016

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