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Writing admission and application essays for graduate school

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The Business Analytics Program - Why is MSBA program the next logical step for you?

2 - The information you have presented for your application is strong in terms of content but tends to be bogged...

Graduateajain2007 - Jan 13, 2025 / Holt - Jan 14, 2025

my motivation for the European Master in Public Health Europubhealth +

2 - You are making over assumptions in this case. It would be better not to make such references...

GraduateCJB20223 - Dec 26, 2024 / Holt - Dec 26, 2024

Copenhagen Business School MSC Digital Business / Business Administration Motivational Essay

2 - Hi, the focus of each essay is different so you cannot combine the information for each essay into 1....

Graduatejebb1e - Dec 23, 2024 / Holt - Dec 24, 2024

Green finance and economy - ERASMUS PERSONAL STATEMENT

2 - It appears that you have written a second version of the same essay topic. This one is supposed to...

Graduatehabibraza22 - Dec 21, 2024 / Holt - Dec 22, 2024

A Story of Rebellious Child - GLOCAL Erasmus Mundus Personal Statement

2 - Rather than telling this one dimensional story that does not really help to inform the reviewer regarding the...

Graduatejakartainrain - Dec 18, 2024 / Holt - Dec 21, 2024

PhD Program in Computer Science at George Mason University - SOP

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback. I will update. Can you point out if there are "strength" issues or...

Graduateffisty_98 - Dec 11, 2024 / ffisty_98 - Dec 12, 2024

Applying for Computer Science PhD, Statement of Purpose

3 - @Holt This is for a US university. And most of their universities take Undergrad students in their PhD program....

Graduatemrr007 - Dec 10, 2024 / mrr007 - Dec 11, 2024

SOP for Master's in Electrical Engineering / ECE

2 - You can use this section to align your academic and professional goals with the university curriculum offering. You...

Graduateapplicant101 - Dec 9, 2024 / Holt - Dec 9, 2024

Statement of Purpose for PhD programme in Chemical Engineering

2 - The reviewer does not care that these programs appeal to you. What matters to him is how you...

Graduateahmed326 - Nov 29, 2024 / Holt - Nov 30, 2024

USC Graduate Interactive Media Personal Statement - Why interactive media?

4 - Thank you @Holt @woodg for the feedback! I removed the premed info and rewrote the gaps. Thanks again!...

Graduatepotatotush - Nov 9, 2024 / potatotush - Nov 25, 2024

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE - MASTER IN LOGISTICS AND SUPPLY CHAIN MANAGEMENT

4 - The response sounds like you are still focused on academic development over a period of 5 years when you...

GraduateHeidi_han - Nov 14, 2024 / Holt - Nov 19, 2024

Personal Statement Review : Masters in Accounting and Finance

2 - These references to childhood influences should be used only for college Accounting major applications. You must go...

Graduatehelloitisme - Nov 16, 2024 / Holt - Nov 17, 2024

SOP review for masters in data science at CMU

2 - This is actually a negative statement in the eyes of the reviewer. This is not something you would...

Graduateyeshwanthg - Nov 15, 2024 / Holt - Nov 15, 2024

Statement of Purpose - UCSD - Cognitive Science PhD Application

2 - This does not matter. What matters to them will be the mirroring of your research with the professors....

Graduatetts2024 - Nov 15, 2024 / Holt - Nov 15, 2024

Statement of Purpose - MS in Computer Science at EPFL

2 - The introduction does not set the stage for your interest in Ms Computer Science. You need to revise the...

Graduateshades123 - Nov 14, 2024 / Holt - Nov 14, 2024

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE – M.S. SAFETY ENGINEERING, XXX UNIVERSITY

2 - It will catch the reveiwer's attention better if you open with a narrative about a similar catastrophe that...

Graduateclarence94 - Nov 14, 2024 / Holt - Nov 14, 2024

SOP for Automatic Control Engineering at Polimi

2 - You keep mentioning goals that the university aligns with on a personal basis, yet you never mention what these...

Graduateryayra - Nov 12, 2024 / Holt - Nov 13, 2024

PhD Microbiology SOP University of Wisconsin

2 - Do not go so far back into your history. This is a statement of purpose. Focus on your...

GraduateEola - Nov 12, 2024 / Holt - Nov 13, 2024

Masters in Computer Science application Statement of Purpose (SOP)

2 - Since this is published work, you need to provide the issue specifics such as the date of publication,...

Graduaterish210 - Nov 10, 2024 / Holt - Nov 10, 2024

Opinions on my masters degree autobiography for CS (Taiwan)

2 - I am considering how well the reviewer will receive this information considering that these are all academic, and thus...

GraduatesentuLLL - Nov 9, 2024 / Holt - Nov 10, 2024

Structural engineering passion - Personal Statement for Graduate Admission

2 - I do not believe that it is a good idea to mention these two professors in the presentation....

GraduateBrandonDX - Nov 8, 2024 / Holt - Nov 10, 2024

My first personal statement: Multidisciplinary PhD Program in Biomedical Sciences at Rutgers School

5 - Thank you very much for the consideration, I will work on it....

Graduatelucaszanusso - Nov 2, 2024 / lucaszanusso - Nov 3, 2024

Biotechnology and bioengineering - commonwealth development impact statement

2 - Unfortunately, your response does not provide the expected responses to the Commonwealth Development Impact statement as required. The written...

GraduateAeshna Agarwal - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024

Personal Statement for MSc Information Technology University of Glasgow

3 - Highlight specific outcomes from your projects, such as improvements in security metrics or stakeholder feedback, to illustrate the impact...

Graduateverschaffeltii - Oct 3, 2024 / Nandia20060709 - Oct 13, 2024

Building strong network and relationships - Chevening

3 - I suggest you to use STAR method while writing you essay it will make your essay way more structured....

Graduateseeeed - Sep 24, 2024 / habib_baharuddin - Oct 11, 2024

Personal statement - integrative systems biology PhD program Pitt University

2 - Never indicate that you were not interested in a certain field until later on. Being a PhD applicant,...

Graduatesouthlab - Oct 5, 2024 / Holt - Oct 10, 2024

Transportation and Geoinformation Technology - Motivation Letter for Applying Master Program

2 - Your degree is related to Forestry Engineering, which is all about the management of natural resources. You are over...

Graduateahmadazmi - Oct 1, 2024 / Holt - Oct 2, 2024

Personal Statement for Master of Science in Anesthesia

3 - I think acronyms like CAA could have been better explained,Since your reviewer might not be a person in the...

Graduateedumanzo - Sep 22, 2024 / seeeed - Sep 24, 2024

Personal statement for non degree study at Hunter College School of Education

3 - I have no doubt that the non-degree programs at Hunter College will enable me to accomplish my career goals...

Graduatesheriecherie - Sep 15, 2024 / KelvinG - Sep 16, 2024

SOP/Motivation Letter for Design Academy Eindhoven

4 - Merged: Rewriting Motivation Letter for Design Academy Eindhoven This is the statement of purpose for my application...

GraduateLamiaNoshin - Jun 29, 2024 / LamiaNoshin - Sep 7, 2024

Molecular Biology and Public Health - Study Plan for NYCU PhD Application

2 - This is an empty study plan. It does nit tell me what the focus of your dissertation will be...

GraduateSaira Khurshid - Aug 25, 2024 / Holt - Aug 25, 2024

SoP for Masters in Finance / Banking

2 - Try to develop a more in-depth discussion of your background and experiences that help you believe that the...

Graduatethefrog - Aug 12, 2024 / Holt - Aug 14, 2024

How would the specific programmes of study in Ireland - response essay

2 - How many words have you been given to respond to the question? Your answer is not effective at all....

Graduatesenay - Jul 16, 2024 / Holt - Jul 17, 2024

Short statement of purpose for Lund MSc about accounting and management control

2 - I do not really see how the program will be helping you further your training in the aforementioned sections....

GraduateJunefish - Jul 14, 2024 / Holt - Jul 15, 2024

criticism on the quality of letter of motivation for aerospace engineering masters

2 - Oops. This is too much of an exaggeration. You cannot fly a plane at the age of 8....

Graduatemegamind1 - Jul 12, 2024 / Holt - Jul 15, 2024

Supporting statement for Master's degree in Advanced Control and Systems Engineering

2 - Your supporting statement tends to jump around in terms of information sharing, without actually building to a solid finish....

GraduateFikri26 - Jul 8, 2024 / Holt - Jul 9, 2024

Data Science Masters - Personal Statement

2 - Kindly indicate what degree you completed in college and how it relates to Cybersecurity. How did you find yourself...

Graduateamahopeless - Jun 30, 2024 / Holt - Jun 30, 2024

Bachelors to Direct PHD - KFUPM

3 - @Holt Thanks for valuable feedback. But as this isn't a regular PHD program it is direct PHD after 4...

Graduatemarsad1998 - Jun 22, 2024 / marsad1998 - Jun 23, 2024

Seoul National University Graduate Program - Social Welfare - personal essay

2 - Thanks for letting me know that you were focusing on the "risk" aspect of the suggested writing topics. I...

Graduatemkim10612 - May 22, 2024 / Holt - May 27, 2024

Statement of Interest for a PhD position at KU Leuven (Physics graduate)

2 - This is not really a statement of interest. It more of a presentation of skills and qualifications, which should...

Graduatekaran1999 - May 8, 2024 / Holt - May 17, 2024

AAS - Translation Studies : Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

2 - While you did present some good reasons in the earlier paragraphs for your master's course choice, it is not...

Graduatemiccowwy - Apr 7, 2024 / Holt - Apr 19, 2024

LSHTM - MSc Health Policy, Planning, and Finance personal statment

2 - The first thing I would advise you to do is to keep the essay written only in the English...

Graduatesiopao106 - Mar 29, 2024 / Holt - Apr 2, 2024

TU Delft - MSc Transport, Infrastructure, and Logistics Motivation Letter

3 - @Holt hello, thank you very much for the feedback. I'll be sure to revise my essay as per your...

Graduaterhnprks - Mar 23, 2024 / rhnprks - Mar 30, 2024

Transition from psychology to cognitive science Msc SOP Review

2 - You must try to avoid using a template Statement of Purpose, Motivational Letter, Personal Statement, or any other application...

Graduatelofisophie - Mar 26, 2024 / Holt - Mar 28, 2024

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE for EPFL Management, Technology, and Entrepreneurship

2 - Based upon what evidence? What you make claims like these, you must back it up with numerical data...

Graduatenetkeojas - Mar 19, 2024 / Holt - Mar 28, 2024

SOP for MSc Computer Science EPFL

2 - A reviewer is usually more impressed by the way that the applicant manages to combine undergraduate studies and its...

GraduatetealCrayon98 - Mar 23, 2024 / Holt - Mar 24, 2024

Master's in Social Research - PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR UNIVERSITY OF EDINBURGH

2 - Mention the courses as deemed relevant to the requirements of the masters course. This will show your preparation...

Graduatepookie123 - Mar 16, 2024 / Holt - Mar 21, 2024

Transfer Admission Personal Essay for Temple University

2 - The story being told is inconsistent. It lacks a smooth flow in terms of transitioning from your early life...

Graduateprivateangels - Mar 15, 2024 / Holt - Mar 20, 2024

Personal Statement for Master Application at China University XJTU

2 - I am confused. Are you applying for admission to the university? If so, then there should not be any...

GraduateJadelim_99 - Mar 7, 2024 / Holt - Mar 10, 2024

EPFL Master's program in Applied Mathematics Statement of Purpose

2 - Since you are applying for a masters degree course, it will be best to highlight your college education, work...

Graduatevalg01 - Feb 24, 2024 / Holt - Feb 27, 2024

Personal statement for master in information technology with artificial intelligence specialization

2 - Since this is a personal statement, it should not touch on your academic and professional exposure. The personal statement...

Graduateuserc - Feb 15, 2024 / Holt - Feb 18, 2024

Short statement of purpose for RSM MSc about entrepreneurship and Climate Change.

2 - My opinion is that you do not really respond to the question being asked. Your introduction is confusing and...

Graduateantoinebernzrd - Feb 14, 2024 / Holt - Feb 18, 2024

GKS PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR MS IN ARTIFICIAL

2 - The essay lacks in required substance overall. It does not provide information as required by the list of writing...

Graduatefxkimji - Feb 11, 2024 / Holt - Feb 11, 2024

Fluency in Korean - Global MBA STUDY PLAN

2 - Your language study plan is incomplete. You have introduced your pre arrival preparations but not your post arrival language...

Graduatekrishna26 - Jan 31, 2024 / Holt - Feb 9, 2024

Statement of Purpose Master Data Science EPFL

2 - Start your essay at paragraph 3. You are already a seasoned professional those foundational courses that you studied are...

Graduatedavidedalce - Jan 29, 2024 / Holt - Jan 30, 2024

GKS-G 2024| Future Study Plan

2 - Your discussion regarding language improvement should not be included in this essay. That belongs to the language study plan...

Graduatesankook - Jan 23, 2024 / Holt - Jan 28, 2024

Personal Statement for a MSc in Computer Science from the University College London

2 - The essay seems to be open ended. The last paragraph seems to be hanging. There is no clear concluding...

GraduateCS_Masters2024 - Jan 16, 2024 / Holt - Jan 20, 2024

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR M.SC IN ARCHITECTURE AND URBAN DESIGN IN MILAN

3 - I really love how you take account of the feedback from the consultant and how you shape your already...

GraduateSupreena - Jan 14, 2024 / himca - Jan 17, 2024

Learning and Creativity - advice SOP for masters

2 - Refrain from mentioning the 8th grade in this essay. You are applying for admission to a masters course....

GraduateAkshay66 - Jan 14, 2024 / Holt - Jan 14, 2024

The impact of enterprises - GKS-G GMBA | Goal of study and study plan

3 - @Holt Thank you for the review but my whole essay got edited its just the introduction part my whole...

Graduatesankook - Jan 11, 2024 / sankook - Jan 13, 2024

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