Finally Seeing Myself as a Grown-Up (Temple University)

Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office
has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What
would yours say?
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When I first started at Temple University I was unable to see myself as a "grown-up", even though I started classes a week before my 20th birthday. I had believed that I would always see myself s a child. However, through my experience at Temple University, I started to see myself as a "grown-up". My experiences, along with all the supportive people I met; wither it be dorm mates, teachers or other staff members, helped me to grow and evolve into the person I am now. Temple University has helped me to integrate my desire to create along with my aspiration to help small-companies grow.

During the spring semester of my junior year, I was able to attain a dream internship. I started t 160 over 90 advertisement agency; I started at the bottom, working as a junior art director. However, I knew from the first day that I walked into the building, that this was where my future was. And I was right. Following my graduation in 2018, with a bachelor's degree in advertising, I was offered a full time job.

Currently I am employed at 160 over 90 as a creative supervisor. While it was a long journey from the first day of classes, to starting as a junior art director, the struggles were well worth it. Every time I think of the person I was when I first started at Temple University I am extremely thankful to everyone I meet there.

After four years at Temple University, I had developed into a new person. Gone were the days of when second guessed every decision I made. I was confident with the person I was and my abilities. I could finally look at myself in the mirror and see an adult.

The idea is very good, however, there are a couple of grammar mistakes. The last sentence of the 3rd paragraph is a little mismatched. I think it be good to change the last part of the sentence (I am...I met there) to something about the person you were when you first started. I don't feel like the first and second part of the sentence go together. But everything else is well written. Hope this helped. :)

I feel you need to add more feelings to this writing as it is more or less speech writing;
I remember how naive I was when I began my classes at the Temple University just one week before my 20th birthday.


That time I was a kid in every respect.


However, I began to mature much faster than I could have even imagined through my experiences with Temple University.

You don't talk at all about your personal accomplishments and your only professional accomplishment is landing a job. Having a job really isn't anything special. If you're going to talk about your professional accomplishments, show how they've made individual people, your community, or the world a better place. If you're just using that job as a way of bolstering your personal life, show how you've had an amazing personal life because of your career that you obtained thanks to your experiences in college.