Greetings!
While I can't speak to your writing specifically, as you haven't posted it, I can give you some general guidelines.
1) You are using too many (not much) details in your writing if the story gets lost in all the detail. Every sentence does not have to be loaded with numerous details. Give enough that the reader can picture what you mean and to lend authenticity, but don't let it bog you down.
2) Titles are important, certainly. Just how important a title is depends partly on what type of writing it is. In fiction, you want a title that grabs the reader; in, say, a scientific article, being informative might be more useful.
3) "Crossing the line" assumes the existence of a line, but where that line is drawn depends on your audience. If it is in an essay which you will be handing in for a class, I'd have to say that explicit sex could be seen as crossing the line. If a steamy scene is required, making it tasteful would be a plus. Something akin to a "PG-13" rating would probably be best.
I hope this helps!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
