Undergraduate / "to seek and enhance my strengths and potential" - WHY BATES [9]

Oh, the one that studied abroad for a year isn't me :D I've only done foreign exchange during the summer break. Aaaw. Guess that's why I'm here too haha.

Oh yeah, from Okinawa! You know, maybe I still have your email address :)
No problem. Glad to have been of some help! Hope you have a nice fuyu-yasumi too!

Undergraduate / "to seek and enhance my strengths and potential" - WHY BATES [9]

Hey~~ yup, a non-international school Japanese student.
Omg yeah, I did apply to the Grew Bancroft Scholarship! I remember we all talked during waiting time! Didn't make it though :P Did you get it?

I read your other essays too, and though they're long, I think your writing is really poetic. Would do great for stories!
Hmm, if they have read the introductory lines, I'm sure they'll know what you mean by "foundations" and "castles". If you're worried though, maybe you could try writing it:

It would be a great honor to be able to achieve my goals at Bates college, whereI will be able to "put a the foundations under themy castles that are my goals ."

Perhaps try quotation marks?

Undergraduate / "to seek and enhance my strengths and potential" - WHY BATES [9]

Hi! I'm also a student in Japan applying to some LACs this year. Looks like we're in the same boat.
Just some personal opinions here, you can ignore them if you want:

All of these features are telling me that they will certainly help me to achieve my own goals which are to move myself higher and to broaden my out look world.

I feel this sentence is rather long. Maybe try:
All of these features will certainly help me to achieve my own goals of pushing myself further and broadening my outlook on life .

I understand that Bates is not the most international college in America, though I understand that since it's founded by abolitionists,
I feel this sentence is unnecessary.

Relating back to my favorite phrase, I believe that by studying here, I will be able to put a foundations under the castles that are my goals.

If you cut that part, I think you'll get a stronger concluding sentence.

I think the red part gives a personal ring to the essay. If you cut the red part, I feel the essay will be less personal and come off as a bit abstract. You could cut some other parts in the essay to shorten it.

Good luck with your essays! Hope we'll both get in :)