Undergraduate / 'If I did not come to America'..' - application essay to PDS [9]

Explain a event that had an impact on your life, your way of thinking, or the world.

On May 5th, 2006, at exactly 9:30 AM, I boarded Asiana Flight 3625, and got ready for my journey The United States of America. This is a journey that will inevitably impact my life. Once I arrived in the John F. Kennedy International Airport, I was ready for a new life. The United States differentiated from China in various ways, such as basic freedoms, people's way of thinking, and the people's way of life. After I came here, many of my habits have been affected.

One of the first things that changed was my recognition of my basics rights. In China, the government controlled newspapers, television, and all media sources. Also, we weren't allowed to oppose the government verbally, but in The United States, freedom of speech grants us the right to express our feelings. In The United States, all citizens are granted a speedy trial if they are convicted of a crime. But in China, if a government official accuses you of a crime, you can be automatically executed, or thrown into jail for life. Such freedoms also affected my way of life, as I became more extroverted.

Being an extrovert has many advantages, now, I am able to make many new friends, and experience the American way of life. The American way of life brings me a new perspective in life. I now realized that you should have fun when you can, and live life to the fullest, but when you are working, you have to concentrate and focus to do your best. In America, I also learned to play sports, participate in extracurricular activities, and volunteer in many events that might help the community. One sport that I learned to play in America is tennis, as I was playing with my friends one day, they introduced me to the concept of tennis and taught me the basics of it. If I did not come to America, I would've missed out on the joys of playing tennis.

When I was in China, I was more of a conservative individual, living life traditionally, and was afraid of big changes. But The United States transformed me into an active liberal person. Now I petition against certain government acts, argue about politics in public, and I welcome new changes in society, as I see that it is the only way we will evolve and become stronger as a nation. After becoming a liberalist, my views on many topics also changed.

My journey to The United States of America impacted my life permanently, and my new views, skills, and way of life will most definitely help me in the days to come. Without coming to The United States, I doubt that I will ever be able to enjoy such benefits. Now, instead of a conservative introverted individual in China, I am transformed into a caring liberalist person that believes in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Undergraduate / 'saw the meaning of such a useful advice' - Andover Admission Essay [7]

What is the most valuable piece of advice you have been given? How has that advice changed the way you see yourself, others, and the world?

There are many people that have given me advice in the past, some might be useful, and others may not be. Out of the hundreds of advices I have been given, there is one that I think is the most important, and it is not given by a family member, nor a mentor, but by one of my trusted peers. This valuable advice not only helped me then, but it hasalso helped me now, and will continue helping me in the distant future. The advice that I had been given was to believe in yourself. At first, I was incapable of understanding the meaning of this advice, I didn't know how that was going to help me. But later, I finally saw the meaning of such a useful advice. When you believe in yourself, you are more likely to succeed than those who question themselves.

When I was in 6th grade, the worst grade of my life, I wasn't doing so well in math class. I was constantly getting bad grades on tests, projects, and all sorts of assignments. I was almost on the verge of collapsing, I had no faith that I would be able to pass the class. It was then that my friend came and offered me one of the best advices that I havehad ever received. I remember vividly that I had a 62% and there was only 2 weeks left until the marking period is over, and there iswas only one project left. I got home that day and tried to believe in myself and complete the project and study for the test that is comingapproching, although I was still having sporadic thoughts, I tried my best to ignore them and focus on my past successes. The project dragged on for hours, and for hours I tried to believe in myself, at first it was in vain, then after an hour or so, my confidence grew and I tried to work on the project to the best of my capabilities. Consequently, after handing in the project, I received an outstanding grade, which brought my average grade up. My friend's advice has driven most of my academic life. I thought about his advice when completing a difficult task, such as the SSATs, and writing the essays to enter Andover right now.

You have areally good essay here, made a few corrections- they are the ones in red.Thanks for checking mine. Good luck:)
I understand that life is challenging, and there will be moments when things seem desperate, and when we will lose all hope and faith, but even then, we need to believe in ourselves, if we don't even believe in ourselves, we will not succeed. In order to surpass challenges, you must first conquer yourself and all your fears. Once you have succeeded in accomplishing that, you are ready for any challenge the world poses.