Writing Feedback / Essay about Travelling alone [2]

When asked to write a compare and contrast essay, you need to provide your opinion within the discussion paragraphs. You will receive an automatic failing score when you present your opinion in the concluding paragraph because that paragraph is supposed to present the reverse summary of the discussion. Therefore, you are expected to present your opinion inclusively. That means, you add your opinion to the public opinion that you support, indicating your personal reasons for supporting it. It needs to be a merged paragraph that explains both the public and your private opinion, including a personal example or public example to support it. All within 5 sentences in the paragraph. This may be presented in any of the body of paragraphs.

Scholarship / BIO-HEALTH TECHNOLOGY GKS-U PERSONAL STATEMENT [2]


Expand on this aspect talk more about why this award is important. What item was sold? How was it marketed? It is important that the reviewers read about all of your accomplishments and how these were achieved.


Please do not say that you did research. That leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Also, if you are applying for the academic track of a specific university, you should lead into that from the start. That way the reviewer will know not to review your essay on a general basis.


Do not discuss the professor's research so lengthily. The reviewers are interested in you and your aspirations. Discussing his work is something that a masters degree student, who can use his research to improve his own, would have to do. An undergraduate has not achieved that level yet.

Scholarship / Goals of plan & study plan (psychology) [2]

This is not an acceptable Goal of Study and Study Plan because it does not provide the required information. You have to remember that the study plan and the goal of study must relate to your chosen college major. For Goal of study, consider what you want to do using your college major in the future. What improvements do you hope to implement in your field? How do you see yourself contributing positively to it? What negatives do you hope to improve upon? For the study plan, explain how you plan to use your training opportunity in Korea to gain the proper career foundation for yourself. Where do you want to have your internship? Where do you see yourself working after you graduate. Why? Consider these information when yo write a totally new essay response.

Research Papers / Resarch Paper - a More Controversial Nature, Concerning Conflict Between Russia and Ukraine [2]

This paper comes across more as a storytelling piece instead of an insightful look into the history of the Ukraine and the development of the rift with Russia. I would have written this differently as a present look at the situation, then dipping into the connected history of the conflict with Russia. In fact, Russia does not even get significant and related mention until the middle of the presentation. Such conflict development should be presented earlier on. Yes, you presented the history of the rebel groups, but the rebel groups were not explained in such a way that connects with Russia immediately. Such a connection would have aided in the proper development of the historical presentation of the rift.

Scholarship / Psychology and counseling center - Future plan after finishing GKS program [2]

You will be required top spend at least 2 years in South Korea after you graduate from the program. So your future plans should reflect a desire to help the country that gave you the scholarship. Look for mental health hospitals, clinics, or programs where you can continue your training, while also providing payback to Korea. Do not discuss Nigeria without creating the connection between your industry training post studies, with your country's own mental health needs. You need to find a way to promote the scholarship once you return to Nigeria. So the plan should help to create a symbiotic relationship between the two countries in the field of mental health. Try to revise this essay to reflect that so that the reviewer will know that you are going to try to create a bridge between the two nations.

Scholarship / Monash Asia Equity Scholarship - Computer Science Advanced (Honours) [2]

The essay lacks a direct connection with the programs that Monash university offers under the program you will be studying. How do your plans align with the classes you will be taking? How about the internships or industry learning that is offered to the students? Describe how the learning process will blend and merge for you. The are only mentioning the university club, which does not show that you have a true familiarity with the program you will enroll in and how these classes will help build the foundation for your future career. You have to revise the essay to create the contact element for your vision as a student of the program. This is actually too vague for the most part and only begins to take shape in the last paragraph, where it no longer has a positive effect on your application.

Scholarship / "Trying new things" - Language study plan before and after Gks [2]

This is not an effective language study plan. It does not show that you have been making long term plans to study in Korea by preparing early on in your studies. You should be referencing tutorial center attendance, online chat groups, and preparations to take the TOPIK prior to your arrival in Korea. Serious prepation for language proficiency should be seen as this will indicate the possible level of your Hangul proficiency upon arrival.

Your post arrival studies should be more defined than what you have at the moment. How do you plan to excel in the mandatory language classes? What is your target TOPIK score? What sort of language building activities do you hope to participate in?

The essay needs more specifics. This is more of a generic overview so it does not really provide useful information to the reviewer. Using this statement as is will weaken your chances for the scholarship consideration.

Writing Feedback / The Opioid Epidemic A National Crisis in Need of Reform [2]

While the research and opinion paper itself is well developed and presented, I feel that there is a lack of personal insight in the paper. Everything seems to stop at the in-text citation point. Your opinion is not really standing out as you opt to present the public opinion more than anything else in the paper. Being the author of a research and opinion paper, you must always provide an "I" statement within each discussion paragraph to highlight your contribution to the discussion. That will further strengthen the insight and information dissemination of the paper you have written. Also, a more unique solution presentation would also help. The solutions offered right now are of public knowledge, which makes these the default solutions to the problem. What do you think can be done other than what is already being done to solve the epidemic? That would help create a unique and truly insightful research paper.

Scholarship / Healthcare system - Goal of study , study plan for gks during my degree program [2]

Try to develop a more concrete goal of study. Your presentation is too generic. It shows that you do not have any solid study plans. Everything you are discussing in the essay are not special nor unique because these are expected of all the Nursing students in Korea and in other parts of the world. In order to develop a more solid goal of study and study plan, you need to first, have an ambition for becoming a nurse. Why? What sort of nurse to you hope to become? An emergency room nurse? A pediatric nurse? A practical nurse? You need to determine your nursing specialization before you can develop a proper study plan that aligns with the rotations and internships that are available at the medical universities and teaching hospitals in Korea.

Essays / How to improve the vocabulary I use on essays for proficiency level? [7]

Word complexity in the essay will not help increase your score if you are using the advanced English words in the wrong manner. Meaning, if the meaning of the word does not relate to the way you used it in a sentence, then you will lower your LR and GRA score immediately. Why? That will show that you do not have control over your English vocabulary and that you do not understand the meaning of words before you use them.

How do you solve this problem? It will not hurt to read the dictionary, in alphabetical form so that you will understand the meaning of English words. Go to English idioms websites to understand the meaning of these phrases before you use them. By doing so, you will effectively gain the skills in proper word and phrase usage. Use online word games such as Wordscapes to increase your vocabulary as the words used in that game range from basic to advanced English and it provides the meaning of the word to the player should he wish to learn the meaning and how to use the word properly in a sentence.

Student Talk / Do languages matter in IR courses? [2]

Language proficiency matters tremendously if you are applying for admission to college outside of your home country. More so if you are applying for a scholarship grant to study in a foreign land. The proficiency level will need to be certified and will matter most, in your case, if you apply to study in Germany. You will be asked to provide proof of language expertise or rating in both English (TOEFL, IELTS) or German (Goethe-Institut exams). The higher your scores, the more helpful these language fluency tests will matter in relation to your application. While languages do take up a percentage of the admission consideration, it is not given too heavy an emphasis as compared to your other documentation such as your TOR and written interviews.

Writing Feedback / The bar charts show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign languages [2]


How are the bar charts separated? Identify the bar charts per title for the clarification of the reader. They need to be able to tie in chart information with their imagined image.

You will be scored on the formatting of the page as well as part of the TA considerations. Always divide your paragraphs. Produce 3 -4 paragraphs for the Task 1 essay composed of at least 3 sentences each.

You have placed the summary overview information in the trending statement. You will lose points for not following the expected format. You also neglected to inform the reader of the 3 languages being spoken. You only mentioned 1. All 3 must be mentioned.

Avoid writing run on sentences in the presentation. Points will be deducted heavily from your GRA and C+ C scores.

Scholarship / Sharing my desire to pursue nursing/personal statement for gks scholarship [2]

It appears that you are applying via embassy track with this application. I would suggest that you apply using the university track instead since you are targeting admission into a science based program. That way you have a better chance of admission to both the scholarship and the school.

Discuss your academic achievements without downgrading yourself. There is no need to constantly mention how your school does not give out medals or certificates. The achievements should be noted in your TOR, your academic history, and other equivalent documentation.

Review the essay that you wrote and remove your post study plans discussion. There is a specific essay wherein you can fully discuss that reference with a full focus.

Do not over dramatize your situation in this essay. Keep or professional sounding and never discuss your government's shortcomings in such a detailed manner. The reviewer is interested in your qualifications, not your country's governance and health benefits problem.

Writing Feedback / Learning the second language - IELTS Writing task 2: Discussion [2]

You did an almost fine job of paraphrasing the original prompt. The problem is that you retained the phrasea and . These 2 phrases will still be seen as cut and paste by the examiner because these are still too close in wording to the original representation. These phrases will lower both your TA and GRA scores since both sections pertain to your knowledge of the English language and your ability to present your thoughts in an original manner.


This is a problem again because you are never supposed to affirm any opinion in the task 2 essay. You are merely to represent your opinion and allow the reader to make their own decision in support or non support of your explanation.

The main problem in the presentation is that you are agreeing with both sides of the presentation. You must not do that. You must prove that only your opinion and the opinion that you support are valid. That means, you must take the positive of the opinion you do not support and flip that into a negative reason using examples or personal experience. The same holds true for the opinion that you support. There is a lack of personal knowledge or examples in the essay which will affect the C+C and TA scores negatively in the end.

Writing Feedback / The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different count [3]

Always indicate the number of images when more than one image is provided for comparison purposes. Remember that the summary overview is not complete if you do not indicate the comparison information. In this case, the comparison information is not just between landline and mobile phones, but also includes 4 countries. The compare and contrast points should pair the 2 highest and 2 lowest countries in each presentation.

Use one paragraph per image for comparison. Do not compress the information into 1 presentation space. It is not only difficult to read, but also shows a weak knowledge of the GRA and TA sections in relation to scoring. There must be at least 1 space line in between the presented paragraphs.

Writing Feedback / The Benifits of Printing Press [2]

Your effort to write in English is noted. However, there are several problems that you need to address in your writing if you want to show true improvement in your writing skills.

First, address the problem of superlative adjectives. It is missing in this presentation. When you say " one of the" it should be followed up with "most valuable." Second, you misspelled the name of the inventor. If this were an actual test, you would have failed the LR section because you did not proof read your work for spelling errors.

The most consistent problem in your writing is the way that you always write in run-on sentences. This will lead to a failing GRA score in the future. Stop trying to compile too many ideas into one sentence. That creates a failing sentence structure.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: The environment. [3]

The essay is under written. That means it does not meet the minimum word count number. By not writing 250 words, you are assured of an automatic failing score because there is not enough writing available for the examiner to properly assess your writing skills based upon the existing scoring rubic. As I review what you wrote, I also see that your grammar is not perfect. Your thought process probably affected the lack of clarity in the presentation. Your sentences are not complete sentences. The structure you use in this presentation does not meet the GRA requirements that could have helped you achieve a better score. This is fine for a first essay writing effort but, I would expect to see progress in your writing over the coming days.

Writing Feedback / Why is health detector a leading initiative to help the poor easily access healthcare? [2]

The statement lacks substance. What is the product about? What does it do? How does it do it? What makes you say that it can be helpful to people? Vital information is missing from your presentation. It created a useless statement. It does not give the name of the product. It does not truly describe what the product does and how it does it. Why would the poor benefit from this product? Since it does not require a power source, what makes you say that the product can be used by just about anybody? The grammar is at a beginner level, the paragraph structure is okay. It just does not provide useful information so that made the presentation useless and irrelevant to the person reading it.

Writing Feedback / Question: What are the environmental benefits of electric cars? [3]


huh? I am not sure what you are trying to say here. You forgot about the subject-predicate form of English sentences. Maybe you wrote this in your native tongue?

You are too redundant in the presentation. You use the same words over and over again (It's), showing a limited grasp of the English vocabulary and lack of familiarity with various English sentence formations (e.g. simple, complex, compound). So the exercise does not represent your English skills in a good manner. The sentence structure is weak, the grammar is too simplistic, and the overall presentation tends to be unclear to the reader. You need to build your vocabulary and learn to think in English, rather than translating your thoughts from your native tongue to English.

Essays / Debate exam - ideas on the skills needed? [3]

When taking a debate exam, make sure that you have strong research skills. A debate requires a 2 sided argument. You should be able to research on the spot or, actually have notable knowledge about a certain topic. Once you are capable of researching, you need to be able to think critically about that information. What is the good that it represents? Or, what is the bad that it supports? Make sure that you can clearly communicate your ideas to the reader or listener. You need to be able to use rebuttals to win your argument. It is not easy to undergo a debate but if you are strong willed and you believe in the side that you arguing for, then you should perform well enough during the test.

Writing Feedback / What are the advantages of social media? [2]

Let us start with the basics of English sentence writing. The requirement for beginner English language learners is that the sentence should compose only 1 idea for clear and simple explanations. Using too many ideas in one sentence does not properly explain a sentence. It creates confusion for the reader, who cannot keep track of what the sentence is actually trying to say. This creates a run-on sentence, which is an incorrectly formatted sentence.

Take your time when you write your sentences. Remember, you should be able to explain your thoughts and point of view as best as you can to your reader. If the reader cannot understand you, nor keep track of what you say, then the sentence or paragraph has already failed in its purpose of explaining to the reader.

Undergraduate / Finding Balance: The Real Impact of Studying and Working at the Same Time [2]

This is a very concise presentation of a very popular topic. The insight is real and based on medical and popular facts in relation to part time student health hazards. You show a good understanding of the topic and properly use your point of view to reveal possible considerations the reader may not have had before. As a short statement, this presentation hits all the marks in terms of language fluency and coherence. I believe that you have the potential to develop this into a full page essay of 250 words if given the right writing guides for the topic. You did not do a bad job. Native English speakers can easily understand what you are saying in the paragraph since you used the correct reference words throughout the discussion.

Undergraduate / My foundation - Language study plan before and after Gkd [5]


You will automatically be enrolled in the language class at the university. You can remove this section from the paragraph.


Do not reference these things in this essay. It takes attention away from the language development focus of the prompt. Focus your closing statement on the course of study instead.

Some other problems of this essay include your failure to indicate that you will pursue a more formal study approach to learning Korean by enrolling in a Korean language center prior to your arrival. It is nice that you have a plan to achieve TOPIK level 4. However, you should first pursue gaining a language competency certificate from the language center where you will be studying so that you can present it with your application. That way the reviewer will have a better idea as to where your language skills stand as of the moment. This will be a major part of their consideration for your admission to the program.

Writing Feedback / Tiltle: What are the positive and negative efects of tourism on a place that you know well? [2]


Do not use an ellipses when writing an academic essay. That punctuation mark indicates that you are thinking of other words to include in the writing, but decided not to instead. The ellipses should only be used when indicating omitted words, or you want to create a pause or effect, or a show trailing off of thought. You were not doing any of these when you used the punctuation mark in your writing. Do not make it a habit of using punctuation marks that are not relevant to the writing as you could lose points that way. Stick to the basic punctuation marks to avoid such deductions.

Try to balance your presentation of the positive and the negative aspects. You spent too much time and word count on the introduction that it took away from the proper and balanced discussion presentation that could have been provided. There is plenty of room to develop a proper discussion presentation in this instance. You also neglected to place a space between paragraphs, which made the essay difficult to read and also, hard to keep track of the discussion that you are presenting.

Writing Feedback / Adult education centre attendance - IELTS CHART [2]


Do not indicate the position of the image in the report. The reader is presumed to not have a copy of the image so telling the reader where to look is a futile exercise. The task 1 essay tests your skill when it comes to giving graphic descriptions of the image provided in relation to necessary information for the reader. Points will be deducted for instructing the reader to look at the image in a particular position. Good job in narrating the summarized information though.

Your grammar is not very good at this point. It is not beginner level, but it is not intermediate either. There is a problem with your word choice since it does not really align with the description that you want to give. It causes confusion for the reader. It will take several repeated readings before you actual meaning can be found. Anyway, you are off to a good start. While this essay is not a passing score essay yet, you show the potential to gain a high score once you have a better grasp of the English language.

Writing Feedback / My IELTS writing task 2 with topic about online studying and working [2]


Automatic failing score in the TA section. This is not a compare, contrast, then provide an opinion essay. You are to provide your opinion right from the start in response to the given question. The lack of thesis statement leaves the essay without a direction or point of view and therefore, does not appropriately respond to the task. The response provided is in the incorrect format. Due to the mistake in representing the TA section, there is no way that this essay can receive a passing score at the end.

You cannot provide your personal opinion in the concluding summary. The concluding summary is only meant to recap the previous discussion points. Placing your opinion, with very little explanation in that section will result in the lowest possible failing score for this essay.

Writing Feedback / Argumentative paper: The Price for Life: A Profit-Driven Healthcare [3]

I would have used the quotation as the opening hook for this essay. It helps the reader understand the theme and thesis consideration that you used in the development of the research and opinion paper. The citation, placed in the middle of the essay, without anchoring onto any paragraph or relating the speaker to information, make it seem out of place and difficult to consider as a part of the previous statement, which does not really blend into the quote you provided.


You have to identify these speakers in the presentation even if you present a paraphrase of their statement and ideas. Give credit or receive point deductions for providing unreliable and unverifiable information.

Overall, it is an informative paper that looks into the history of healthcare, but suffers in terms of format presentation. Fix the format and make sure not to separate citations from its related paragraphs.

Scholarship / My language study plan for GKS-U scholarship program (before and after coming to Korea) [2]

Prior to your arrival, the reviewer needs to see evidence that you have done both self study and enrolled in a formal Korean language institute or center that can issue a certification of language proficiency to you, based on their grading standards. Try to also indicate that you will undergo TOPIK testing prior to your arrival in Korea to prove your language proficiency. Say that you aim to qualify with at least a score of 4.

So these are all to take place before your arrival in Korea? You have to make the timeline clear for the language practice plans. That way the reviewer will see a clear study flow timeline. This will be considered along with the Korean language classes that you will take upon arriving. Right now, I think you are only focused on the pre arrival studies. These cannot be done once you arrive in Korea since you will be taking formal Korean classes and you will be taking the TOPIK upon completing your first semester of language learning.

Writing Feedback / Students in Canada and the US by country of origin: Table graph [2]


The same error exists as in your previous essay. properly identify the image and mention the number of images provided. The same deductions will apply. Do not write a new essay of the same type without first perfecting the previous essay. You will not learn anything if you keep writing and repeating the same errors in your presentation.

The full paragraph is a run-on sentence which does not make any sense to the native English speaker because of the incorrect grammar and improperly structured sentence. This will result in a failing TA score and definitely lower your base GRA score to a failing consideration. It is difficult to understand so it will also lead to a preliminary failing C+C score. This essay is far more problematic than the first one you presented. This will receive an even lower failing score than the first one.

Writing Feedback / Reasons for migration to and from the UK - Writing task 1: Pie chart [2]


There are 2 mistakes in this immediate presentation:
1. The proper image title was not cited (pie chart)
2. The number of images for comparison was not mentioned (2 pie charts)

The summary overview, in relation to task accuracy will be scored based upon an incomplete presentation.


This should reflect "other" as the reference to comply with the image information restatement.


What do you mean? The thought process presentation is incomplete. You might have typed the words in English from your native translation, leading to the error in English translation.


You cannot insert your native tongue into the English report. This could result in an automatic failing score since you are showing that you cannot write in coherent and full English sentences.

Writing Feedback / Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. [2]

This is an example of an automatic failing final score essay. Once you write less than 250 words, the system will detect this and score it based on not meeting the task accuracy requirements for the word count. The score will be 0 regardless of how well you might have written the essay. Always meet the 250 minimum word count to avoid these auto fail scenarios.

Paraphrasing of the original prompt is within the requirements for a decent score. However, your opinion presentation is exaggerated and will lose points for not following the correct presentation format. There is no need to say that you "firmly believe" as this is not an extent reasoning essay.

The paragraph presentations do now meet the required 3-5 sentence presentations. This is the main reason why the essay failed to meet the minimum word count. Do your best to write at least 3 sentences next time. That number will allow you to better develop the essay and also, show off a bit of your English writing skills at a higher level. Writing 5 sentences per paragraph would be the most ideal though.

Writing Feedback / The graphs below show the different reasons of two group of students to choose Dorriford University [2]

Task 1 essays should not be more than 200 words in representation. That is because you are given 1 hour for the written task, 20 minutes for task 1 and 40 minutes for task 2. However, you are not provided with a timer during the actual test so you will tend to overwrite and end up with a sloppy or unfinished task 2 essay should you spend too much time on the task 1 essay. Remember the maximum word count and make sure you stick to it to avoid problems with the task 2 essay completion.

You have a problem with your tense usage. You tend to write in the present version while the information is from the past and therefore, requires past tense usage. You will get a failing GRA and LR score because you have shown a lack of knowledge with regards to the basic English writing rules and a weak vocabulary usage. You do not know how to properly use everyday English words in a basic English sentence. While an English native speaker can figure out what you are trying to say and place it within the correct timeline and context on a personal basis, that does not mean that you will receive considerations for this shortcoming.

Poetry / How can we add our poetry writing and stories in our college application? [4]

The best way to use your original poetry is as a quote at the start of the essay. Consider it an inspiration for the reader to get hooked on what you have to say. That usually helps to increase the interest in the rest of your essay. You cannot use just any essay though. You have to make sure that the poetry that you use is relevant to the prompt that you were provided. Otherwise the poetry will not be of any use in terms of improving your writing or may even turn off the reader. Use poetry that you recently wrote it possible. Avoid the childish sounding ones or the trivial essays. If it relates directly to your personality as required by the prompt, then use that instead. Do not use more than one stanza or 2 sentences at the most. You do not want the essay to be overpowered by your poetry.

Writing Feedback / The essay about the future diplomat! I've written many personal statement, this one calls out to me. [3]

Try to keep the essay to within 500 words. Keep it short, concise, and informative. Share how you have developed your international relations skills in the absence of supporting groups or activities in your school. The presentation is mostly theoretical and pondering in nature. It lacks the practicality of the interest. You are interested int he theories, but fail to define how these affected you are a person on a social or moral basis. You are spouting textbook ideas and understanding, but not really allowing the reviewer to get an insight into you as a person. Yes, the essay has an enjoyable tone to it, but is devoid of a true personal statement. Pondering the topic is one thing, but to have the essay focus only on your thoughts, without any actual actions to prove that you have actively pursued this interest since you changed your stream means you have failed to justify your interest in a manner that would show a potential for you to succeed in the course.

Undergraduate / 'Treatable' - My struggles with OCD and growth - COMMON APP ESSAY [3]

I am not sure which prompt you are addressing with this essay so I cannot give prompt specific advice to you regarding improvements. Overall though, the essay is concise, yet informative. It highlights a part of your personality that may not have had a chance to be discussed in the other essays. This is a good way of getting to know who you are beyond the classroom. While it is not a stand out essay since you will not be the only OCD afflicted person applying to the school who will be using this for a topic, it is still an insightful piece of writing. What makes it effective is that it shows the root cause of your OCD in relation to your family background. It will really help the reviewer get to know you better as a person, rather than just as a student.

Writing Feedback / Some famous people are considered as role models, and they are having an increasing influence [2]

While you fulfilled the TA discussion requirements and properly provided a personal opinion based upon the writing instructions, I cannot say that this essay will receive a passing score because it failed to create a connected discussion presentation from one reason to the next. There was a disconnection between the positive trait that you discussed and the negative trait presentation because the topics covered in the individual paragraphs were not the same. This created a disconnection in the presentation and failed to create a cohesive and coherent discussion plot.

The more appropriate way of discussing this type of prompt would be to use the comparison discussion format. That would mean that:

Sentence 1 indicates the negative drawback. The 2nd sentence explains why this is seen as a negative then the 3rd sentence offers and example of this. The 4th sentence in the paragraph will present your positive point of view and then offer an example to support it. By using this discussion format a more connected and cohesive discussion presentation per opinion paragraph will be presented.

While the current format may receive a passing score, it will not be as high as when the compare and contrast discussion presentation, which is the expected discussion format, is used to discuss the prompt.

Writing Feedback / Discuss both view on the matter of whether children should engaged in some kind of paid work. [2]


Points will be deducted from your TA score because you failed to provide a thesis statement that represents your opinion on the topic that was provided. You only repeated the discussion instruction for your POV which is not the same as providing your personal opinion, which was to comprise the last part of the paraphrased statement. Always provide your establishing point of view when required by the prompt to fulfill the TA requirements accurately.

The essay will receive a failing score because it does not appropriately represent the discussion requirements. The essay should be composed of 5 paragraphs composed of:

1. The restatement + writer's opinion
2. The supporting public opinion explanation with examples
3. The opposing public opinion with examples
4. Your personal opinion that clearly supports one of the 2 public oponions. An example would be optional at this point..
5. Reverse summary conclusion

Due to the incorrect discussion format and missing information, it will not be possible for you to gain a passing mark for this essay presentation in an actual test.

Essays / ielts writing task1, so hard for a beginner like me [2]

In order to properly write a task 1essay like this one, you need to start by building your English vocabulary. This is a necessary part of learning how to construct simple English sentences using synonyms. Properly identify the keywords from the original presentation that you need to find alternate words for. In this case, you need to find synonyms for:

Table - Columnar chart
Percentage - Ratio
Assorted - various
Generate - manufacture / create

Then you can write the most difficult paragraph of the Task 1 essay, the summary overview. You will find the example of a properly worded summary overview below.

The columnar chart indicates the ratio of electricity manufactured by five Asian countries in the year 2005. These countries are: Malaysia, Singapore, South Korea, Japan, and Thailand. The various energy products are nuclear, coal and lignite, petroleum products, and others.

Once you get past the summary overview, it will be easy to find the trending statement, which reports on the highest and lowest manufacturing information for a particular type of product. Then the rest of the report should be easy to repeat in paragraphs since these are clearly given in the image.

Scholarship / GKS-U personal statement - major in airline services [2]

This is a very interesting and well developed personal statement. It is a beacon of inspiration and truly introduces you to the reader in a well round manner. Your focus on your civic interests and your development as a person is to be applauded. However, the essay itself does not fully address all of the prompts if the GKS_U personal statement. You have written this essay without considering the actual information requirements of the essay. There are a series of essay prompts that are downloadable as a kit, which offer the guidelines and topic requirements for the personal statement, among others. I would advise you to hold on to this essay and use specific areas to add interest to you more prompt adherent personal statement. That way you will be able to create a truly interesting and notable personal statement that will catch the interest of the reviewer.

Writing Feedback / Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. [2]


You have changed the discussion prompt and therefore, failed the Tast Accuracy section of the scoring rubic. The paraphrase and instruction should have reflected that you were asked to deliver a restatement of the 2 public opinions and then your personal opinion. Nowhere in the original instruction was "drawing a conclusion" ever given as a writing instruction for this prompt. The task 2 essay will only as that opinions be given, the writer will never be asked to draw a conclusion. This error almost assures that this essay will not receive a passing score since majority of the grade is awarded within the TA section.

The essay is also overwritten. You wrote more than 300 words for a 40 minute task. The maximum word count that will assure that you finish discussing the essay is 300 words. In an actual test setting, this essay would be open ended and receive an automatic failing score. You have to time yourself when writing to ensure that you properly conclude, review, and revise your essay during the actual test.