hanhchoick
Dec 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / New Zealand: the cricket as a sport which attracted the smallest number of girls to involve in [6]
The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
I wrote two essays following different manners. can anyone revise for me and tell me which one is better ? I will be appreciated
Ex1
The chart shows us figures about sports which was playing most popular in New Zealand in 2002.
Overall, as can be seen cricket was a sport attracted the smallest number of girls to involve in, with just about one percent. While soccer, as always, was the most favorite sport with boys.
To begin with, we will start with sports which was preferred by girls rather than boy: Netball saw a strongly excess of girls' involving number compared with boys with 25 percent and one percent respectively. Swimming stood behind with 22.5 percent of girls involving in, while the figures with boys was 13 percent. There also have althtics that girls and boys gained five and four percent respectively.
Then, the second group was likely sports not for girls or it required two much physically muscle: Soccer was counted 24 percent for boys and five percent for girls. Tenis and basketball have quite similar statistical number, in which boys was nine and eight percent while girls took seven percent and 5.5 percent. Especially in cricket, there saw the longest distance between boys and girls up to nine percent, in which the boys was higher with ten percent.
Ex2:
The chart shows information on sports which was played most common in Newzealand in 2002.
Firstly, we consider Sports which saw not much different between two genders: Basketball and Tenis shared a quite similar pattern, where as almost 8 percent of the boys played these games while this figure of the girls was 6 percent. Athletics attracted quite a modest amount of player that almost-merely 5 percent of both the boys and the girls involved in this game.
Secondly, the others which showed the deep separation between two genders. Socer and cricket was seemingly considered the sports for man in this country, this was proved respectively by the gap of 10 and 20 percent between the boys and the girls . In contrast, the girls dominated in netball and swimming that the number of girls taking part in these sports excessed the boys by 24 and 10 percent respectively.
In summary, inspite of the fact that the girls have beat the boys in some sports but in the larger point of view boy still be the biggest force participating in sports
The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
I wrote two essays following different manners. can anyone revise for me and tell me which one is better ? I will be appreciated
Ex1
The chart shows us figures about sports which was playing most popular in New Zealand in 2002.
Overall, as can be seen cricket was a sport attracted the smallest number of girls to involve in, with just about one percent. While soccer, as always, was the most favorite sport with boys.
To begin with, we will start with sports which was preferred by girls rather than boy: Netball saw a strongly excess of girls' involving number compared with boys with 25 percent and one percent respectively. Swimming stood behind with 22.5 percent of girls involving in, while the figures with boys was 13 percent. There also have althtics that girls and boys gained five and four percent respectively.
Then, the second group was likely sports not for girls or it required two much physically muscle: Soccer was counted 24 percent for boys and five percent for girls. Tenis and basketball have quite similar statistical number, in which boys was nine and eight percent while girls took seven percent and 5.5 percent. Especially in cricket, there saw the longest distance between boys and girls up to nine percent, in which the boys was higher with ten percent.
Ex2:
The chart shows information on sports which was played most common in Newzealand in 2002.
Firstly, we consider Sports which saw not much different between two genders: Basketball and Tenis shared a quite similar pattern, where as almost 8 percent of the boys played these games while this figure of the girls was 6 percent. Athletics attracted quite a modest amount of player that almost-merely 5 percent of both the boys and the girls involved in this game.
Secondly, the others which showed the deep separation between two genders. Socer and cricket was seemingly considered the sports for man in this country, this was proved respectively by the gap of 10 and 20 percent between the boys and the girls . In contrast, the girls dominated in netball and swimming that the number of girls taking part in these sports excessed the boys by 24 and 10 percent respectively.
In summary, inspite of the fact that the girls have beat the boys in some sports but in the larger point of view boy still be the biggest force participating in sports