phongnam
Dec 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Worldwide market of hybrid vehicles in three different areas - WRITING TASK 1 [3]
Hi NinaJoesuf25,
As my opinion, your first sentence in the first paragraph is complex, just keep it simple.
...three different countries from 2006 to 2009 is depicted in the bar chart....
In the second sentence, you use the wrong meaning, the figures cannot have a trend. You may consider changing some words like below:
the chart shows a common upward trend/all mentioned countries saw a similar trend that sale rates increased throughout the period of 4 years.
Moreover, you should add some conjunction words, pronouns to make the paragraphs be more logical and smoothly, and using other tenses such as past present perfect rather than only using past tense. This may help in raising scores.
Now you have it, all my opinions. Hope them help.
Hi NinaJoesuf25,
As my opinion, your first sentence in the first paragraph is complex, just keep it simple.
...three different countries from 2006 to 2009 is depicted in the bar chart....
In the second sentence, you use the wrong meaning, the figures cannot have a trend. You may consider changing some words like below:
the chart shows a common upward trend/all mentioned countries saw a similar trend that sale rates increased throughout the period of 4 years.
Moreover, you should add some conjunction words, pronouns to make the paragraphs be more logical and smoothly, and using other tenses such as past present perfect rather than only using past tense. This may help in raising scores.
Now you have it, all my opinions. Hope them help.