Josh316
Aug 21, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application. Help me choose a topic between these two! [10]
This is for the "Personal Essay" section of the Common Application. I'm looking to apply to UPenn, Duke, Cornell and such as my top choices.
So I have two ideas in mind that could possibly work out. Here's the basic idea (it is not the essay itself.)
1) One night, someone discovered three dead people in a house not far from mine. The three people dead and the murderer were all Korean, and I, being a Korean myself, encountered some problems. A week or two later, I had to find my classmate's house for a school group project, but I ended up in a wrong house. A little boy looked out the window when I rang the door bell, and soon his mother came by the window to see who it was. As soon as she saw my Asian self, her facial expression changed and she grabbed her son, and asked me in a demanding manner what I was here for.
This idea could work in some way relating racism and what I had learned through a unique experience. I just can't find a way to show who I am through this essay.
The second idea goes like this, but I have a slight doubt in this because it is a very common topic.
2) When I joined the track team in high school after failing to make the freshman soccer team tryouts, I sucked at running. The coach told me to do hurdles and jumping because of my height, but I still sucked. I felt bad for myself and worked my ass out to make the varsity team in my sophomore year. This idea of improvement and motivation helped me get through high school even when my dad left the US to go back to Korea, being a manager of international business.
The reason why I don't like this topic is that so many people write about their sports, their heroic moments, and how it dramatically changed their whole lives. The first idea is more interesting and unique, but I don't know how to make it deep. I could say that I was never racist ever again, but so what, you're not supposed to be racist in the first place. Help me please!
This is for the "Personal Essay" section of the Common Application. I'm looking to apply to UPenn, Duke, Cornell and such as my top choices.
So I have two ideas in mind that could possibly work out. Here's the basic idea (it is not the essay itself.)
1) One night, someone discovered three dead people in a house not far from mine. The three people dead and the murderer were all Korean, and I, being a Korean myself, encountered some problems. A week or two later, I had to find my classmate's house for a school group project, but I ended up in a wrong house. A little boy looked out the window when I rang the door bell, and soon his mother came by the window to see who it was. As soon as she saw my Asian self, her facial expression changed and she grabbed her son, and asked me in a demanding manner what I was here for.
This idea could work in some way relating racism and what I had learned through a unique experience. I just can't find a way to show who I am through this essay.
The second idea goes like this, but I have a slight doubt in this because it is a very common topic.
2) When I joined the track team in high school after failing to make the freshman soccer team tryouts, I sucked at running. The coach told me to do hurdles and jumping because of my height, but I still sucked. I felt bad for myself and worked my ass out to make the varsity team in my sophomore year. This idea of improvement and motivation helped me get through high school even when my dad left the US to go back to Korea, being a manager of international business.
The reason why I don't like this topic is that so many people write about their sports, their heroic moments, and how it dramatically changed their whole lives. The first idea is more interesting and unique, but I don't know how to make it deep. I could say that I was never racist ever again, but so what, you're not supposed to be racist in the first place. Help me please!