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Posts by aliashah
Name: Malavika Mahesh
Joined: Dec 29, 2016
Last Post: Dec 29, 2016
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: india
School: PSBB

Displayed posts: 2
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aliashah   
Dec 29, 2016
Undergraduate / Yale Supplement- The Phenomenon of Link hopping. [4]

Hi, thank you for your time and interest!

This is what I wrote to the Yale Specific question in the Common App: Write about something you love to do

I have the feeling it sounds a little incomplete- is it just me, or do you think so too? My teacher didn't seem to, but I would appreciate a second opinion.

A click, two clicks, and there appears a new story.

I start with Raja Ravi Varma, and the cheery 'Read more' tag invites me to read about the Travancore Royal family. Another click at a link in the page, and I am off- reading about Mughal emperors and the East India Company. Two clicks later I'm reading about Elihu Yale, the first President of the Madras presidency, my hometown.

The sheer sense of discovery nearly knocks me off my chair.

In between research for projects, and on aimless rambles across the length of cyberspace, I let the mouse lead me to nuggets of information on various matters. While researching Lord Keynes, I take a break and let my electronic Virgil guide me- several links later, I establish a relation between the legendary 20th-century economist and the Chronicles of Narnia movie. There is something inexpressibly exhilarating about the sensation- synapses fire, thoughts and facts link together; the jigsaw is completed, and there is, at last, illumination.

Unfettered by the bonds of research topics, unshackled by the chains of syllabi, the pursuit of knowledge opens up in all its glory- and it is intoxicating


word count: 192/200
aliashah   
Dec 29, 2016
Undergraduate / My performance as a DJ. Common App: prompt about failure [11]

@TVLAERE

Hi, your essay has a great hook and is quite well thought-out. I have some small suggestions about the structuring- the 'eureka' moment that the memory of your father's struggles gave you could be highlighted so that the readers understand how that moment turned everything around for you. I would suggest bringing that sentence "This made me realize that the solution was in the audience" be moved down from the paragraph- and if you want, rewrite it to add greater emphasis.
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