maryjok
Dec 30, 2016
Undergraduate / Body and mind synchronized through the dance - Undergraduate supplemental essay [4]
@kaleiv
Hello, I noticed some misused words. Changing the word "wobble" to something like "act" or "move" seems to be a lot better. Also indicate why dancing something that you enjoy and crave for more. The reason behind it or along the lines of it. It's also a little bit confusing as I didn't sense a feeling of a wedding. I would also suggest some more descriptive language. Overall, good essay in my opinion. :)
@kaleiv
Hello, I noticed some misused words. Changing the word "wobble" to something like "act" or "move" seems to be a lot better. Also indicate why dancing something that you enjoy and crave for more. The reason behind it or along the lines of it. It's also a little bit confusing as I didn't sense a feeling of a wedding. I would also suggest some more descriptive language. Overall, good essay in my opinion. :)