Undergraduate / My experience of selling samosa taught me to be optimistic... UBC Pharmacy [3]

Hi! I really liked your take on the question.

I think you should further explain how you were originally going to deal with the rain, since it was a major part in deciding on the number of samosas to sell. In other words, elaborate on the discussions you had.

Undergraduate / A talk with an ex-homeless person - UBC personal profile [6]

Thank you for the response! I would have never realized this error by myself!

This is what I have now.

//

While volunteering at the Chinatown Youth Leadership Program in the summer of 2016, I had the opportunity to meet a formerly homeless person that lives in the Downtown eastside of Vancouver. He had a touching story that changed my perspective on life.

He told me about his time on the streets where he would constantly be assaulted by law enforcement due to his aboriginal background and homelessness. It was evident that he was a victim of discrimination.

Before I met him, my world view was much simpler. Since I had a very peaceful upbringing, I was not aware that such a significant amount of people could have been suffering in a large and prosperous city such as Vancouver. I had not even begun to think of the homeless as real people with emotions and feelings.

Ever since this meeting, I have gotten much more involved with my community. I have realized that there are many Aboriginal peoples, Chinese seniors, and homeless people suffering in the city of Vancouver due to discrimination. This leadership program really widened my understanding of these problems and has helped me find the motivation to help my community via my school's LEO club program.

//

Do you think the edits I have made have fixed the problems? How else can I further improve this?
Again thank you for the feedback, as the deadline is in just under 14 hours the panic is slowing settling in haha.

@Holt

Whoops, I forgot to use the reply button for my reply.