Linh Linh
Jul 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / [IELTS: Task 1] Shares of the mobile phone market - the table. [2]
Please check my writing and give me score. Thank you!
The table illustrates the proportion of manufacturers reaching in the global mobile phone market in two different years 2005 and 2006.
Overall, in the both of years, Nokia was still the leading company with the highest share. While Motorola and Ericsson recorded a slight increase, the remaining brands reduced over two separate years.
Nokia accounted for the highest percentage in the mobile phone market with 32,5% in 2005 and 35% in 2006. Besides, Motorola in 2006 reached the second place in market share with 21,1% after a slight rise over more than 3% over one year. Likewise, Sony Ericsson experienced the lower increase by just over 1,1 % from 2005 to 2006.
By the contrast, Samsung, L.G, Ben Q.Mobile and others saw a considerable reduction in the share of mobile market. Ben Q. Mobile continued to be the brand with the lowest market share in both years at 4,9% and 2,3%, respectively. The figure for others showed the highest fall of all brands from 19,2% in 2005 to 16,2% in 2006. Finally, there was a slight reduction in the percentage of Samsung and L.G in this market.
Please check my writing and give me score. Thank you!
mobile phones in the years of 2005 and 2006
The table illustrates the proportion of manufacturers reaching in the global mobile phone market in two different years 2005 and 2006.
Overall, in the both of years, Nokia was still the leading company with the highest share. While Motorola and Ericsson recorded a slight increase, the remaining brands reduced over two separate years.
Nokia accounted for the highest percentage in the mobile phone market with 32,5% in 2005 and 35% in 2006. Besides, Motorola in 2006 reached the second place in market share with 21,1% after a slight rise over more than 3% over one year. Likewise, Sony Ericsson experienced the lower increase by just over 1,1 % from 2005 to 2006.
By the contrast, Samsung, L.G, Ben Q.Mobile and others saw a considerable reduction in the share of mobile market. Ben Q. Mobile continued to be the brand with the lowest market share in both years at 4,9% and 2,3%, respectively. The figure for others showed the highest fall of all brands from 19,2% in 2005 to 16,2% in 2006. Finally, there was a slight reduction in the percentage of Samsung and L.G in this market.
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