Evanna
Aug 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / Salary must be consider top priority in choosing a job. Do you agree or disagree with this statement [3]
Hi,
Overall, it was a good essay. But there are some things in this essay that you might reconsider to use:
1. Try to replace "always" with some other words, for example "absolutely". The same with "high salary" (can be changed into high-paying")
2. "because you might not qualify for that job" => not be qualified enough
3. We should not use contraction in our academic essays.
4. You should try to use more linking verbs. It will make your essay more cohesive.
5. According to Cambridge Dictionary, "pose" means " to pretend to be something that you are not or to have qualities that you do not have, in order to be admired or attract interest", so I think you have misused it. "Pose a skill/experience" does not make sense.
P/s: I'm still a learner, so excuse me if there are any mistakes. Cheers :)
Hi,
Overall, it was a good essay. But there are some things in this essay that you might reconsider to use:
1. Try to replace "always" with some other words, for example "absolutely". The same with "high salary" (can be changed into high-paying")
2. "because you might not qualify for that job" => not be qualified enough
3. We should not use contraction in our academic essays.
4. You should try to use more linking verbs. It will make your essay more cohesive.
5. According to Cambridge Dictionary, "pose" means " to pretend to be something that you are not or to have qualities that you do not have, in order to be admired or attract interest", so I think you have misused it. "Pose a skill/experience" does not make sense.
P/s: I'm still a learner, so excuse me if there are any mistakes. Cheers :)
