loqsc852
Sep 7, 2017
Writing Feedback / Should schools invest in infrastructure and physical plant, or just keep the faculty satisfied? [2]
My name is Jeremy, and I am going to take a Toefl test next week. I wrote an independent essay, and the topic is "It is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied."
Here is the content I wrote:
Investing is a way to get better. It can be tangible or intangible such as a kid who forms a good lifestyle can have a healthy body in the future. It is same that an organization deciding how to spend the money can be a crucial decision for the future. Despite many believe that good facilities gives the faculty a fine environment for learning and teaching, I think do what the students and the teachers needing are more important. The reasons are not only on motivating the faculty but also on not to wasting money.
First, because of instructive purposes, the professors sometimes need holding some activities for the students to make a better learning atmosphere; therefore, to make sure the thing that the professors are going to do can make impacts, it is necessary for investing in program.
For instance, my law professor took my whole class to the place where we might work in the future. Without the school's help, it is really hard to make every student have this opportunity to get the access. After this trip many of my classmates had different opinions about their future occupation. It shows that the fund really hit the right way.
In addition to encouraging the faculty by certain plan, using money efficiently is also a big issue. "opportunity cost" is a term used in economic. It illustrates that the cost of choosing one thing is losing the others things that could choose previously. For example, if the school build a lot of structures that the students are not interested in, it not only waste the money but also plenty benefits can be enjoyed, if the school made a right decision. Pre-valuing on the plan is necessary; otherwise, the consequences are serious.
In conclusion, if there is school can make fine plan for any invest, the faculty in the campus may all have a great feeling they are improving on many facets. This positive cycle can continually bring benefits not only for the students who are studying but also for those who will joining in this school; so, even though a small amount of money can be exploited if it is used on right places.
I know there are lots of grammar errors, and I do not correct it because I tried to submit in 30 min.
I want to whether the structure is OK or what I should notice. Thank for spending time on reading. Sincerely appreciate with it.
My name is Jeremy, and I am going to take a Toefl test next week. I wrote an independent essay, and the topic is "It is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied."
toefl independent essay
Here is the content I wrote:
Investing is a way to get better. It can be tangible or intangible such as a kid who forms a good lifestyle can have a healthy body in the future. It is same that an organization deciding how to spend the money can be a crucial decision for the future. Despite many believe that good facilities gives the faculty a fine environment for learning and teaching, I think do what the students and the teachers needing are more important. The reasons are not only on motivating the faculty but also on not to wasting money.
First, because of instructive purposes, the professors sometimes need holding some activities for the students to make a better learning atmosphere; therefore, to make sure the thing that the professors are going to do can make impacts, it is necessary for investing in program.
For instance, my law professor took my whole class to the place where we might work in the future. Without the school's help, it is really hard to make every student have this opportunity to get the access. After this trip many of my classmates had different opinions about their future occupation. It shows that the fund really hit the right way.
In addition to encouraging the faculty by certain plan, using money efficiently is also a big issue. "opportunity cost" is a term used in economic. It illustrates that the cost of choosing one thing is losing the others things that could choose previously. For example, if the school build a lot of structures that the students are not interested in, it not only waste the money but also plenty benefits can be enjoyed, if the school made a right decision. Pre-valuing on the plan is necessary; otherwise, the consequences are serious.
In conclusion, if there is school can make fine plan for any invest, the faculty in the campus may all have a great feeling they are improving on many facets. This positive cycle can continually bring benefits not only for the students who are studying but also for those who will joining in this school; so, even though a small amount of money can be exploited if it is used on right places.
I know there are lots of grammar errors, and I do not correct it because I tried to submit in 30 min.
I want to whether the structure is OK or what I should notice. Thank for spending time on reading. Sincerely appreciate with it.