danieldwipaska
Apr 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / Academic IELTS: Writing Task 2: Importance of Planting Trees in Cities and Towns [6]
it seems to me that this writing is overall satisfactory. However, the writing would gain a high score if some problems are fixed such as the structure of writing and the collocation of words.
1. Structure
"With respect to residential [...] area from scratch."
It would appear that the sentences above might not be meaningful on your writing because you should not provide the solution of overpopulation. By contrast, if you still intend to explain it, you can write it in body paragraph 2. It would be easier to understand the main topic that you write in each paragraph.
As @maryam syed mentioned before, you should consider in terms of writing style of writing task 2. You can search it on ebook that other websites provide.
2. Collocation
There are words which are collocated wrong, such as "enhance" and "utilise". The former is not suitable with "natural beauty", while the latter is not suitable with "apartments". You are advised to check the appropriate collocation in order to look more natural in the way you write.
I do appreciate your good-used grammar. There is probably no grammatical mistake on your writing.
it seems to me that this writing is overall satisfactory. However, the writing would gain a high score if some problems are fixed such as the structure of writing and the collocation of words.
1. Structure
"With respect to residential [...] area from scratch."
It would appear that the sentences above might not be meaningful on your writing because you should not provide the solution of overpopulation. By contrast, if you still intend to explain it, you can write it in body paragraph 2. It would be easier to understand the main topic that you write in each paragraph.
As @maryam syed mentioned before, you should consider in terms of writing style of writing task 2. You can search it on ebook that other websites provide.
2. Collocation
There are words which are collocated wrong, such as "enhance" and "utilise". The former is not suitable with "natural beauty", while the latter is not suitable with "apartments". You are advised to check the appropriate collocation in order to look more natural in the way you write.
I do appreciate your good-used grammar. There is probably no grammatical mistake on your writing.
