Writing Feedback / The data concerning on the numbers of males and females who graduated in university in Canada [2]

Hi, Nella!
Is it an essay for IELTS Writing Part 1? Looks like that. If so, you are not supposed to use such words as 'surprisingly' because you don't need to interpret the data.

I've spotted the following mistakes which are easy to correct: 'concerning on the'; 'Canada in at the beginning' ; ' it was a noticeablye decline'; 'reached at the highest'. (but there are also more complicated ones concerning sentence structures).