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Dec 21, 2018
Writing Feedback / The quantity of requests received by the Tourist Information Office in an urban area [2]
I hope that you guys can help me identify the mistakes in my essay (ielts task 1) and the band score that i have.
IELST TASK 1: the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city in 2011
I hope that you guys can help me identify the mistakes in my essay (ielts task 1) and the band score that i have.
DRAFT
The given diagram illustrates the quantity of requests received by the Tourist Information Office in an urban area over a six-month period in the year 2011.
Overall, the customers' enquires in person occupies the highest number compare to by letter/ email and telephone. The amount of clients ask questions through phone also increases over six month, from January to June.
During this period of time, there is a dramatic increase in the enquires made in person. To be more specific, it raises from 400 enquires to 1900 at the end of June. On the other hand, the number of requests made by letter or email slightly decrease from the initial time to March. It also reduces by 410 enquires in the second quarter of the year.
Moreover, the enquires through telephone fluctuates in the first three month. Until June, this number goes up to 1600 enquires received. Compare to others made by different devices, the quantity of request through telephone is in the second position - 4 times higher than by email/ letter.
Tourist Information Office and the number of inquiries
I hope that you guys can help me identify the mistakes in my essay (ielts task 1) and the band score that i have.
IELST TASK 1: the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city in 2011
I hope that you guys can help me identify the mistakes in my essay (ielts task 1) and the band score that i have.
DRAFT
The given diagram illustrates the quantity of requests received by the Tourist Information Office in an urban area over a six-month period in the year 2011.
Overall, the customers' enquires in person occupies the highest number compare to by letter/ email and telephone. The amount of clients ask questions through phone also increases over six month, from January to June.
During this period of time, there is a dramatic increase in the enquires made in person. To be more specific, it raises from 400 enquires to 1900 at the end of June. On the other hand, the number of requests made by letter or email slightly decrease from the initial time to March. It also reduces by 410 enquires in the second quarter of the year.
Moreover, the enquires through telephone fluctuates in the first three month. Until June, this number goes up to 1600 enquires received. Compare to others made by different devices, the quantity of request through telephone is in the second position - 4 times higher than by email/ letter.
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