SadNoodle
Sep 21, 2019
Writing Feedback / My Friendship - a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? - CBEST [3]
This essay works, but I think you should put yourself in the best light possible. What I'm getting from this essay is that you always need someone more academically successful to rely on, and that while you can get good grades with good studymates, you cannot function well on your own. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I want to see your own personal ability, not someone else's. Because it kind of seems like a recommendation for Jeff or John. Put the focus on yourself.
Jeff's relocation works as your setback, but finding John may not show your best points. Maybe you could write about how, despite Jeff's relocation and how devastated you felt, you knew that you couldn't just let your grades fall and let him down. That's why you decided to form a study group on your own, and invite people into it to study and get better together. Maybe John taught you mathematics while you taught him English. Instead of saying John filled the void that Jeff left, you could say that, as your academics became stronger and you begin tutoring more and more people in your study group, you not only filled Jeff's void yourself, but became the "Jeff" for several classmates.
For the last sentence I think you could say that you would take the initiative and seek out people or answers to your questions. Like I said, the essay is about you, so make yourself sound good.
I hope this helps, and Good Luck!
This essay works, but I think you should put yourself in the best light possible. What I'm getting from this essay is that you always need someone more academically successful to rely on, and that while you can get good grades with good studymates, you cannot function well on your own. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I want to see your own personal ability, not someone else's. Because it kind of seems like a recommendation for Jeff or John. Put the focus on yourself.
Jeff's relocation works as your setback, but finding John may not show your best points. Maybe you could write about how, despite Jeff's relocation and how devastated you felt, you knew that you couldn't just let your grades fall and let him down. That's why you decided to form a study group on your own, and invite people into it to study and get better together. Maybe John taught you mathematics while you taught him English. Instead of saying John filled the void that Jeff left, you could say that, as your academics became stronger and you begin tutoring more and more people in your study group, you not only filled Jeff's void yourself, but became the "Jeff" for several classmates.
For the last sentence I think you could say that you would take the initiative and seek out people or answers to your questions. Like I said, the essay is about you, so make yourself sound good.
I hope this helps, and Good Luck!