MinhAnh_98
Nov 7, 2019
Writing Feedback / Sales of goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs. Agree or not [2]
"... money to endorse it on Instagram as her account ..."
Since you are making an example about product endorsement, you should change it into "recommend/suggest its products on Instagram it will be clearer. Another thing is that as you are talking about the reason for overbuying the clause "which can bring considerable profit for the company" seems a bit unnecessary.
... of target advertising as they are spending more time online.
Spending time online is a bit unrelated to what you explained later, I suggest that you should rewrite it as the are revealing their personal information online."
I hope my comment is useful to you.
"... money to endorse it on Instagram as her account ..."
Since you are making an example about product endorsement, you should change it into "recommend/suggest its products on Instagram it will be clearer. Another thing is that as you are talking about the reason for overbuying the clause "which can bring considerable profit for the company" seems a bit unnecessary.
... of target advertising as they are spending more time online.
Spending time online is a bit unrelated to what you explained later, I suggest that you should rewrite it as the are revealing their personal information online."
I hope my comment is useful to you.