POR HWA
Nov 12, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - The only way to reduce the traffic jam is by reducing the need for people to travel. [3]
Could you guys help me to correct my writing ?? I took the IELTS exam at least three times, my my writing score still not good enough. Thanks a lot.
The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.
In recent years, the issues of traffic congestion which is a growing popularity topic of society have been discussing for a long period. Some people suggest that breaking the reasons will male the traffic problems getting better. Personally, I agree with the advice.
Money is always the most considerable point of driving cars. According to the polls from the communication department of government, the main reason of the people who takes the public transportation at least five times per week is because of the road fee for the person who drives the car. Also, since the government implement the higher tax of owning a car, and make various transport systems, such as bus, train, and tube, the proportion of using public transports is rising than last decade.
On the other hands, business people cooperates with government to design a new convenience city, which means they adjust some places, build new roads ,and even rebuild new building to distribute the traffic jam. Moreover, their goal of the new city organization not only for the traffic congestion, and they also hope to improve the locals' life quality. The research of life quality shows that the proportion of the residents who live in a messy traffic city suffer from the mental disease is more risky than the citizens who living in a remote area or a convenience field.
To sum up, the more traffic fee the government impose, the less car people drive. In addition, the more traffic systems the government makes, the more choices people takes. Furthermore, the new city plan also help reducing the amount of traffic demanding, while it offer a better life quality to the local.
Could you guys help me to correct my writing ?? I took the IELTS exam at least three times, my my writing score still not good enough. Thanks a lot.
The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
In recent years, the issues of traffic congestion which is a growing popularity topic of society have been discussing for a long period. Some people suggest that breaking the reasons will male the traffic problems getting better. Personally, I agree with the advice.
Money is always the most considerable point of driving cars. According to the polls from the communication department of government, the main reason of the people who takes the public transportation at least five times per week is because of the road fee for the person who drives the car. Also, since the government implement the higher tax of owning a car, and make various transport systems, such as bus, train, and tube, the proportion of using public transports is rising than last decade.
On the other hands, business people cooperates with government to design a new convenience city, which means they adjust some places, build new roads ,and even rebuild new building to distribute the traffic jam. Moreover, their goal of the new city organization not only for the traffic congestion, and they also hope to improve the locals' life quality. The research of life quality shows that the proportion of the residents who live in a messy traffic city suffer from the mental disease is more risky than the citizens who living in a remote area or a convenience field.
To sum up, the more traffic fee the government impose, the less car people drive. In addition, the more traffic systems the government makes, the more choices people takes. Furthermore, the new city plan also help reducing the amount of traffic demanding, while it offer a better life quality to the local.
