Undergraduate / 'Promotion of higher thinking' - stanford a good place for you - edit [10]

I want to take hold of the reigns of my life

i think you mean "reins"

the tone of the essay is great, but i think you need to be more specific... you could be talking about any top-tier school with your descriptions. try to research the school programs more and show that you have taken serious thought into choosing to apply to stanford.

best of luck!

Undergraduate / virginia tech admission essay- I need help cutting it down [5]

Too much of this essay is narrative, you're gonna need to focus more on what you learned from your experiences.

"I have learned from this experience to stand strong against adverse changes in life and not allow them affect things that are important to me, such as my academics."

What are the "things important to me"? Academics is way too vague to interest the readers, who no doubt read hundreds of essays about the "importance of academics." Try something that you participate in that really interests you: perhaps a favorite class, or an extracurricular activity. Anecdotes of how you overcame this would really strengthen the essay. Remember, you want to really stand out as a person in your essays, show more of yourself!