plinh175
Jan 1, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Some people think that the use of computers should be restricted. Do you agree or not? [4]
There is no doubt that modern technology have advanced immensely and profoundly affected every aspect of human life. Being invented in technological revolution, computers play a crucial role in our daily life. Nevertheless, there is no denying that computers also have its double-edged sword. Notwithstanding its gigantic benefits to the human life, the utilization of the computers must be restrained promptly in the light of being fatally influenced on people's health and changing their thoughts or characteristics.
Initially, it should be borne in mind that our health are directly poisoned by many atrocious habits caused by human computers' misapplication. For instance, gazing at screen of a computer, people easily suffer from eye strain without any suitable unwinding. Furthermore, the electro-magnetic waves from computers diametrically affect people's nervous systems, which is the reason why people have some unendurable headache after exerting it for a long time. Simultaneously, sitting one place and lacking of doing exercise due to computers, osteoarthritis and obesity are the dire consequences people may roundly condemn.
Another special consideration in this case is that there is an incredible, adverse alteration in human discernment, especially in their peculiarity. Primarily, that individuals uncontrollably utilize the PC for a long time can become a chief motivation which spur them to be indolent, not willing to do any outdoor activities. Likewise, we cannot eliminate the risk of approaching malicious information such as violent actions, sexual videos which impart negative thoughts and even inappropriate for some certain ages. Hence, they will be affected by these factors and form abhorrent personalities toward the society they are living in.
[i]P/s: In this essay, I don't write a conclusion. Please just mark the introduction and the body and leave a IELTS band score you think this essay should recieve.[i]
technological revolution effect
There is no doubt that modern technology have advanced immensely and profoundly affected every aspect of human life. Being invented in technological revolution, computers play a crucial role in our daily life. Nevertheless, there is no denying that computers also have its double-edged sword. Notwithstanding its gigantic benefits to the human life, the utilization of the computers must be restrained promptly in the light of being fatally influenced on people's health and changing their thoughts or characteristics.
Initially, it should be borne in mind that our health are directly poisoned by many atrocious habits caused by human computers' misapplication. For instance, gazing at screen of a computer, people easily suffer from eye strain without any suitable unwinding. Furthermore, the electro-magnetic waves from computers diametrically affect people's nervous systems, which is the reason why people have some unendurable headache after exerting it for a long time. Simultaneously, sitting one place and lacking of doing exercise due to computers, osteoarthritis and obesity are the dire consequences people may roundly condemn.
Another special consideration in this case is that there is an incredible, adverse alteration in human discernment, especially in their peculiarity. Primarily, that individuals uncontrollably utilize the PC for a long time can become a chief motivation which spur them to be indolent, not willing to do any outdoor activities. Likewise, we cannot eliminate the risk of approaching malicious information such as violent actions, sexual videos which impart negative thoughts and even inappropriate for some certain ages. Hence, they will be affected by these factors and form abhorrent personalities toward the society they are living in.
[i]P/s: In this essay, I don't write a conclusion. Please just mark the introduction and the body and leave a IELTS band score you think this essay should recieve.[i]