Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Should all art subjects be abandoned or not? [5]

I think you have to fix some mistakes:
- In the introduction: employment:-> the employment; tuition fees is-> tuition fees are;
- In the first paragraph of the body: adult who bear-> adult who bears; in term of potential-> in terms of potential
- In the second body paragraph: the society-> society; all kind-> all kinds; will lost-> will lose; art works-> artworks;
- In the conclusion: kind-> kinds