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Posts by rdeez
Joined: Oct 11, 2009
Last Post: Oct 11, 2009
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From: United States of America

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rdeez   
Oct 11, 2009
Undergraduate / Fsu vires essay [4]

Please help critic and proof read my essay:

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Strength is an attribute that I learned and acquired at an early age from my mother. Growing up in a single parent household was never an easy task. Watching my mother struggle from paycheck to paycheck to provide everything that my sister and I needed, instilled the strength that I still carry with me to this day. Anytime I am faced with a tough obstacle, whether it be physically, mentally, or morally, I know I have the strength to get through it, just as my mother did.

Physically, my strength comes from the 6'3 240lbs frame that God has blessed me with. I have used my physical strength to help me become a four year starter on my high school football team, helping build it from a one and nine program to a true state playoff contender. However, my physical strength has not come easy. I have put in long, hard, gut-wrenching hours in the weight room as a three year member of my schools weightlifting team, striving to become as strong as possible.

Off the football field and out of the weight room, I also possess great intellectual strength. Like my mother, no matter how tough things get I never fold. Throughout my high school career I have challenged myself by taking some of the toughest curriculum available and becoming involved with as many clubs and extracurricular activities as possible. Although at times it seemed as though I bit off more than I could chew, I never once thought about giving up or dropping any of the courses. I just stuck my nose down and continued to persevere; never once letting my GPA falter along the way. Because of this strength and perseverance I have been awarded great honors such as: 2008 SAC all-conference academic athlete and high honor roll four years straight.

Vires is just one of the great attributes I believe I can bring with me to the Florida State University if accepted. Words fail me when I ponder how great it would be to help create FSU a better place through my continued efforts in strength and perseverance.
rdeez   
Oct 11, 2009
Undergraduate / Fsu vires essay [4]

Thank you. i also need some sort of intriguing first sentence. any suggestions?
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