Writing Feedback / The traditional music still deserves being cherished and preserved much more than the international [4]

deserve to be cherished and preserved/ deserve cherishing and preserving
"much more than the popular music does" the word "does" is unnecessary

Writing Feedback / The chart show sales of three different kinds of books between 2002 and 2006 [4]

from 2002 to 2006
you don't need to use "Looking at the graph", just "It's easy to see"
"the amount of money pay for them rose gradually." it should be "paid"