Letters / Email Admission officers to update English Language Test Results [2]

Hello, moderators and other students on EssayForum.
I'd like to ask for help from you about the content and format of one e-mail which will be sent to the admission officers of a British college. I hope it looks clear, formal, and respectful. Could you please give me some advice on it? Thank you!

Subject:

[Application] Update English Language Test Results - My name - My student ID

Dear Admission officers,

My name is XXX. I'm writing to inform you about my updated English Language test results to meet the requirements of my programme. Please check the attachment to see the documentation. Thank you very much!

Moreover, I would like to know if it is possible for you to give me a further update on the progress of my application. University College London has always been my dream school, and I am eager to join in the XXX programme. I would appreciate it if you could inform me about the application result as soon as possible. Thanks again!

Student Number: X
Application Reference: X
Programme: X
Entry month/year: X
Mode of Attendance: X

Name of the test: X
Candidate number: X
Date taken: X
My scores: X

Yours faithfully,
XXX