thienan942005
Jul 16, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Writing - Many people believe that Internet access for children can be dangerous. [4]
This is my first post on the forum. Kindly help me with this writing
Prompt: Many people believe that Internet access for children can be dangerous.
The internet is becoming an inseparable tool in human's lives, especially youngsters. However, besides the effectiveness, a wide range of reports shows that using the internet can cause drawbacks to a child. Although there is criticism related to the negative impacts Internet may bring to children, I personally believe that it also provides benefits when utilized in a proper way.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that the usage of online resources can be detrimental to children, especially the development of both their physical and mental health. Overuse of the internet may lead to the disorders of children since they spend an excessive amount of time surfing the technological devices and neglect other real-life activities, such as playing sports, chitchatting with friends, or studying. Moreover, as they are young and have very few life experiences when they are addicted to the visual worlds, it is easy for them to have a desire to modify what they found on the internet. For instance, a wealth of research has concluded that playing violent games may lead to a sense of violence in children when they grow up. Furthermore, the emergence of risky challenges that are being spread on the internet, such as the blue whale, or the Galindo, can provide examples to demonstrate the disadvantages the internet may bring.
However, the internet may bring positive effects to the cognitive improvement of a child if used with adults' guidance. Recently, the noticeable emergence of online learning has changed the view of parents about the effectiveness of the internet. An example is that during the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, when the majority of students are put in social distancing, online learning a way for students to not only learn but also maintain the communication. Furthermore, if there hadn't been the appearance of the internet, children wouldn't have progressed this fast. Since children can now absorb information from the internet to widen their horizons, they earn the opportunity to learn actively and develop with higher speed.
In conclusion, while it is clear that the negativities of the internet remain, the use of it can be monitored so that its positivities can be thoroughly exploited.
Please kindly help me with this piece of writing. Many thanks.
This is my first post on the forum. Kindly help me with this writing
Prompt: Many people believe that Internet access for children can be dangerous.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
The internet is becoming an inseparable tool in human's lives, especially youngsters. However, besides the effectiveness, a wide range of reports shows that using the internet can cause drawbacks to a child. Although there is criticism related to the negative impacts Internet may bring to children, I personally believe that it also provides benefits when utilized in a proper way.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that the usage of online resources can be detrimental to children, especially the development of both their physical and mental health. Overuse of the internet may lead to the disorders of children since they spend an excessive amount of time surfing the technological devices and neglect other real-life activities, such as playing sports, chitchatting with friends, or studying. Moreover, as they are young and have very few life experiences when they are addicted to the visual worlds, it is easy for them to have a desire to modify what they found on the internet. For instance, a wealth of research has concluded that playing violent games may lead to a sense of violence in children when they grow up. Furthermore, the emergence of risky challenges that are being spread on the internet, such as the blue whale, or the Galindo, can provide examples to demonstrate the disadvantages the internet may bring.
However, the internet may bring positive effects to the cognitive improvement of a child if used with adults' guidance. Recently, the noticeable emergence of online learning has changed the view of parents about the effectiveness of the internet. An example is that during the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, when the majority of students are put in social distancing, online learning a way for students to not only learn but also maintain the communication. Furthermore, if there hadn't been the appearance of the internet, children wouldn't have progressed this fast. Since children can now absorb information from the internet to widen their horizons, they earn the opportunity to learn actively and develop with higher speed.
In conclusion, while it is clear that the negativities of the internet remain, the use of it can be monitored so that its positivities can be thoroughly exploited.
Please kindly help me with this piece of writing. Many thanks.