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Aug 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / The traditional music still deserves being cherished and preserved much more than the international [4]
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
In this day and age, multitudinous genres of music have been released in many parts of the world. Furthermore, music plays an entertaining role and has a significant impact on our emotional and mental health. Various as music is, traditional music still deserves being cherished and preserved much more than the popular music does because of its importance.
Clearly, music can prove fruitful for people by dint of its range of benefits. Firstly, listening to music can be referred as a way that people immerse in a world which is away from the hustle and the bustle of normal life. Also, intense schedule of work and studying induces stress, depression and preoccupation on everyone. Music seems to be the simplest way to do away with those negative impacts in a short time.
Moreover, there are two main reasons for the paramount characteristics of the traditional music in a country. First and foremost, most traditional music is built on the history, culture, story of a country, which reminds young people of their countries' past. This, intentionally, raises the pride in each individual citizen and help them to learn more about their nation. Secondly, it would be so a real pity if a country lost its unique characteristics in music. Thus, young people will be sensitized to their responsibility as paying respect to their countries' music.
In conclusion, life without music would make people encounter difficulty in living positively. Indeed, fun and catchy though modern music might be, the valuation of traditional music should never be diminished.
Please help me with the feedback for this essay. Thank you so much!
IELTS writing task 2: Traditional music and international music
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
In this day and age, multitudinous genres of music have been released in many parts of the world. Furthermore, music plays an entertaining role and has a significant impact on our emotional and mental health. Various as music is, traditional music still deserves being cherished and preserved much more than the popular music does because of its importance.
Clearly, music can prove fruitful for people by dint of its range of benefits. Firstly, listening to music can be referred as a way that people immerse in a world which is away from the hustle and the bustle of normal life. Also, intense schedule of work and studying induces stress, depression and preoccupation on everyone. Music seems to be the simplest way to do away with those negative impacts in a short time.
Moreover, there are two main reasons for the paramount characteristics of the traditional music in a country. First and foremost, most traditional music is built on the history, culture, story of a country, which reminds young people of their countries' past. This, intentionally, raises the pride in each individual citizen and help them to learn more about their nation. Secondly, it would be so a real pity if a country lost its unique characteristics in music. Thus, young people will be sensitized to their responsibility as paying respect to their countries' music.
In conclusion, life without music would make people encounter difficulty in living positively. Indeed, fun and catchy though modern music might be, the valuation of traditional music should never be diminished.
Please help me with the feedback for this essay. Thank you so much!