Undergraduate / Dancing / Concentration / Slow down - Help-Brown supplements [NEW]

Hey, guys!
These are my supplements of Brown. Welcome any comments! Grammar is important! THX!

1.Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

I have never given too much thought to how I would become a heroine. However the feeling of being surrounded by my classmates as a heroine after our drama was performed in front of the whole school has always reminded me that once I indeed made "something legendary" and once I received a goal which I had never thought about, that is dancing.

Dancing has never been involved in my life. Not until I learned all the moves myself by only a video, during only one night just before the final show, would I never realize that I had sort of talent in dancing. Not only did I successfully help the performer who broke her leg accidentally, but I also helped myself to discover one of my potentials. However, dancing is just the beginning of my discovery. This process of discovery is what I am looking forward to continuing during my college life and in my future life as well, which will definitely surprise me at first and then push me to meet different challenges audaciously. And what is more important, the more potential I discover, the better I will know about myself and the more confident I will be to continue my journey.

To be the architect of my life, the opportunity provided by the Open Curriculum of Brown University has always been my dream to pursue. The independence, the creativity and the challenge in Brown will endow me the chance to discover myself of various aspects in the future. Also, after learning from stories of previous students of Brown, I become more excited and curious about my college life in Brown if I have a chance to find out. What I will be like after several years of college education? What kind of challenges and choices are waiting for me? Definitely, Brown brings me more freedom than any other college. However, with more freedom come with more challenges and more demands of independence. I believe that, during my journey, the fight against obstacles and the celebration for success will form me to be a more mature woman with unexpected potentials and capabilities beyond imagination.

2.why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in Question #6?
Concentration Interest 1 Education
Concentration Interest 2 Economics Is it awkward to combine these two?

Through my volunteer work in an orphanage in the city I live, I became more absorbed in education. Not until I failed to elaborate the logics and methods of an elementary mathematics question to a 4th grade boy did I realize that education is definitely not so easy that once I thought----teaching students to solve academic problems was everything about education! (And actually successfully teaching a student is not a handy task at all!) In the contrast, education is much of depth, intellect and tactics.

At first, education is a vaster arena beyond my imagination. It is not only used to impart knowledge, but is also used to form one's personality. Frankly, I once thought that children living in orphanages were shy and hard to come along with due to the images described in books and movies. However, children I have met in the orphanage are confident and optimistic. Without great care and appropriate lead from teachers working there, those adorable children cannot enjoy such great life right now. Thus I am really interested in how to "educate" one, that is, both in academic and in life. Also, during my time of working in the orphanage, I have found that high-quality supplements, ranging from living conditions to educating conditions are of great importance in educating those children. Children there are divided into different small classes where they can receive great care from specific teachers and can study together after school. In addition, hospitals and playgrounds are provided. No doubt, living in such nice condition, children of orphanages can enjoy their lives more.

But how to attain this level? Thus I believe economics play an essential role in it. Economics, for many common people, is equal to monetary gains. That is true. Without money, children cannot go to school, cannot go traveling to gain more knowledge and cannot live in good conditions. Nevertheless, in a long run, economics can change education condition of a generation and even more. Truly, I am the first-generation college student of my family while my parents were bereft the opportunities to go to colleges due to their poor families. Therefore, through my college years of learning of economics and education, I want to combine these two areas to make contributions to places and children lack of adequate education.

3.What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given, and why?

"Slow down next time!" my teacher whispered to me when I passed him after finishing my speech in the Model United Nations. "Slow down!" my friends tried to depress her volume but failed when I almost trotted past every exhibit in the museum. "Try again and slow down." I told myself when I tried to start the first slide on the ice court for the hundredth times! I have heard that sentence "Slow down." from my teachers, my friends and myself for almost as many times as I heard the call of my name！

I got the nick name "little rabbit" from my friends not only because of my two big and white incisors, but also because I have always been busy doing something like a rabbit which is always running everywhere. Sometimes, being under high pressure, and pushing me so hard is good for me when I have chosen my concentration and devoted myself into it. I am always enjoying the highly-efficient and satisfactory consequences. In contrast, never slowing down makes I miss numerous beautiful scenes and sometimes feel lost on the way of my journey. Thus the most effective advice I have ever been given and I should have taken is "Slow down!"

While I said goodbye to my mother and entered the room where three judges waiting for me, I told myself "Slow down!" This was the second round election of Star of Outlook English Talent Competition. Delivering a speech in front of judges who "pretending serious" was a piece of cake for me; however this time was also a challenge for me because I had to "Slow down the speed." Whenever I deliver a speech, I usually unconsciously gradually accelerate my speed of speaking until I cannot hear clearly what I have said. This time I kept reminding me that I should slow down during the speech. While I first deliberately decelerated my speed, I felt so uncomfortable and awkward that I could feel my legs shaking and my face flushing. However when my eyes met the eyes of a judge and then noticed her satisfactory slight nod, my legs dramatically stopped shaking! I felt so good and accustomed to "speaking slowly, clearly and loudly"! When I finished my speech and came back to my mother. She said to me ironically:" You spent a long time this time!" I smiled and showed her the permission to the next round as my reply.

To me, to learn to slow down is important, but what is more important is to learn to control. Life is like a marathon. I have to learn to when to slow down and when to speed up. Therefore I can be a dark horse which wins the game in the end.

Thank you for your criticism! :)

Undergraduate / " volunteered in a kindergarten" - Common Application short essay [10]

This is my short essay for Comon Application. I am not pretty sure my point is clear. :(
Welcome any comment!

At the end of my sophomore year, I volunteered in a kindergarten for children with autism. Although I learned that the optimum way to call their attentions is to yell out demands, the feeling of guilty of shouting at such a lovely girl still overwhelmed me. "It is hard to do so, but it is a nice way to connect with her." little girl's mother whispered to me when I decided to surrender to "the wall" between the girl and me. "Life is a climb, but the view is great." The mother chose a new view to see the obstacle and managed to overcome it. Why shouldn't I? After thousands of trying, I finally successfully communicated with the girl and even taught her to run after me, though still through yelling. However, it is true that scenes and even difficulty can be fascinating if I change my points of view.

I want to say that I have learned from that mother who overcame the obstacle due to her change in her views. And her obstacle contains two parts. One is her girl's illness and the other is her compulsory yelling at her girl. For me, my obstacles are to be accustomed to yelling at the little girl and ones I may meet in the future.

THX for everyone!

Undergraduate / "educational interests and goals" - U of Minnesota essay [3]

The question is:
Educational interests
In English, describe your educational interests and goals, educational background, special interests, and plans for when you return to your home country. Please include an explanation of why you would like to study the major you have selected.

It is really a long question and i am a little bit lost when i have to talk about so many things in just one essay. I really need everyone's help, especially grammar! THX!

Life is a climb, but the view is great. I usually think of myself a lucky one who can choose my own concentrations and enjoy the beautiful journey to the climax. During my three-year high school life, I have received not only the high-quality education, but also the qualities and experiences accumulating for me to make contributions to the world..

I have never dared to think about that, in the future, I can make a difference of world until I spent almost three years studying in my high school. What I have learned at school is how to be an all-round mature person instead to become a sponge which only absorbs knowledge from text books. The abundant extracurricular activities train me to become more confident; the projects presentation support me to become a great leader and the open atmosphere of class leads me to learn for the sake of learning. Thus, even though there is no frame to form me or force to push me, I still become more independent and confident to face any obstacles in the future. Also life in my high school broadens my horizon of this world. I have a passionate interest in vast knowledge ranging from history, literature to business, finance and even medical, astronomical. Both vast knowledge and traits I have gained support me to be ready for my future.

To be a volunteer also has endowed me precious experience prepared for my future career. Tutoring children after school at an orphanage helped me more committed in my goals and majors. To be frank, once I thought that children, living in orphanage, were shy and hard to communicate with due to the images presented in movies and books. However six little boys I have been staying with are all adorable, out-going and very diligent. I think this situation definitely attributes to agreeable amenities at the orphanage and the amiable, responsible staff there. The complete facilities equipped there, ranging from hospitals to schools help children feel comfortably and live like home. Besides, staff and volunteers like me help both intellect and mental development of those children. Therefore they have faith in themselves and committed in their goals for the future.

This valuable experience not only help me become more committed in my choice of my majors studying in college, but also help me have a more strong wish to help children in need in my future. As society has become highly-competitive and more or less materialized, finance plays a more important role in society. I believe that the wish to help children in need like disabled children or orphans is not enough. In fact, basic life and education equipment are indispensable. Also, in the long run, the future development of those children will be more complicated and has to be taken into consideration. Study and research in finance area can definitely enhance my capability. But this equipment can be facilitate by others, more important mental development have to be depend on children themselves. Mental health issue has become more important in society. When Wenchuan earthquake occurred in China, 2008, countless brave soldiers and volunteers devoted themselves into rescue. One of them is my friend's father. From her, I heard many stories that the public usually omitted. The most shocked one was how her once strong-mind father became so emotional and delicate that almost cried every time he called her. She told me that the disastrous scenes overwhelmed anyone there and people not only physically, but also mentally got hurt. Thus, psychological treatment is of great importance. I do believe that how to appropriately direct mental development of people, especially children, is also of indispensable importance. And this is why I also have a wish to master psychology knowledge in my college life.

Life is not only a climb which is full of obstacles, but also a long journey which will be long and rough beyond our imagination. However, I have confidence that with the beautiful view alongside, I can arrive in my destination ultimately.