Scholarship / Leadership skills would take you where you want to reach, Chevening leadership essay [3]

@Sam11
From your essay you seem not to use the STAR approach. Clearly outlining the situation and address it with your specific action will show the results

Scholarship / Chevening Essay Networking - Meaningless Intelligence [4]

@indahristya
You are describing your duties. You may need to include examples which shows how did you connect, and how did you benefit from that network