Letters / CV for universities [2]

Hi,

I was wondering if this would be a proper C.V to send to universities such as UF, FSU, UCF, etc.

Thank you

Name
Address
Home: 00000
Mobile: 00000

Education
-1996-2001 The French-American School of Miami (Miami, FL)
-2001-2003 Sunset Elementary (Coral Gables, FL)
-2003-2006 George Washington Carver Middle School - was in the International Studies Program: French Program (Coral Gables, FL)
- September 2008- June 2009 Lycée Louis Bascan (Rambouillet, France)
- August 2006- May 2008; August 2009- present
International Studies Charter High School- in the International Studies Program: French Program (Miami, FL)

Experience
Waged:
-Baby sitting (2005- Present)
-English tutoring (2008-2009)
Volunteer:
-Box-office cashier for dance and theatre performances at Florida International University (2006-2008)
-Secretary for disabled student (June 2009): Helped a blind student during the English portion of his Baccalaureat by reading to him his subject and documents.
- Member of the Chemistry Club at Florida International University (September 2009- present): help during demonstrations (as going to the science museum and demonstrating how a certain chemicals react to one another to children, etc) participate in group activities, trips, presentations, etc.

-Aid for Miami French Film Festival (November 2009)

Achievements
-Member of the National Junior Honor Society (2005- 2006)
-Member and Vice President of the National Honor Society (2009-2010)
-JV varsity soccer captain (2004- 2006)
-Advanced Placement French Language (2006) Score received: 4
-Advanced Placement French Literature (2008) Score received: 4
-Advanced Placement Spanish Language (2010)
-Advanced Placement Biology (2010)

Interests and activities
-Guitar (2007- present)
-Member of the International Studies Charter High School Cross Country Team (2009- 2010)
-Member of Chemistry Club at Florida International University (2009- present)

Skills
- Bilingual in English and French
-Knowledge of Spanish language
-Computer literate (Microsoft word, excel, power point, movie maker, internet, etc)

Goals
- Obtain Bachelor's in Biological Sciences- Cell and Molecular Biology
- Obtain Medical Degree
- Join Doctors without Borders

Undergraduate / UF essay: there are only few organisations that strive to better this world [2]

Hi,

So I've written my UF essay and I would very much appreciate if someone could edit it or simply give me some contructive criticism.

Thanks!

Prompt: 400- 500 words. Write a narrative essay based on a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience.

It's the summer of 2005, I'm twelve years old and I've just fallen face down, causing the recycle bin to topple and fall all over me. My embarrassment is complete. While my cousins laugh and sneer at me in the empty park just near of the Versailles train station, I try and push off all of the rubbish that has cause this dreadful humiliation. The stench and filth overpower the air, and so my cousins walk away still in a fit of glee, trying to find something else to pass off the summer monotony. As I try and stuff everything back into the bin, I see the day's newspaper- a copy of LE MONDE crumbled up, yet there is still visible picture glaring up at me. As I look closer, my young mind tries to understand the disturbing image. It is a photograph of a skeletal young girl around my age, wearing nothing but a thin and decrepit looking cloth, holding her exceptionally thin younger brother and looking back at her burning hut. The caption underneath explained in a few words that a place, unknown to me at the time, called Darfur, was undergoing an atrocious series of events- a genocide was taking place. The article continued that hundreds of thousands had already been driven away from their homes, raped, disfigured, families had been separated and a hundreds had been murdered. Though I am only twelve, I am shocked and most importantly horrified. Horrified not only at the fact that this was going on, but horrified that I was unaware. I began to ask around- friends, family, neighbours- if they had read this article or heard about this apocalyptic event. Most had not, or if they had, had simply heard it rather quickly on the television; between the Tour de France update and the weather. In a fit of disbelieve, I began to do try and search up all of the information possible in order to further understand. Understand the how, the who and most crucial- why.

Upon my research I realise rather rapidly that there are only few organisations that strive to better this world, few who actually go out and make a difference, few who go to where they are needed most- where most would dare not. I become obsessed and frantic- I want to jump onto the next plane, and help anyway I can. Even if I were to just save one life, it would have been all worth it. Finally I come across an organisation that seemed to do exactly what I long for: one that goes straight to turmoil and gets the help to the people who need it most- Doctors without Borders.

Since that fateful day, I have not stopped dreaming about some day joining that organisation in order to help people such as that little girl and her brother. I hope to someday become a doctor and pursue my dream with the same intensity I felt when I first came upon that photograph. I know that by going to the University of Florida, I will be able to influence others to pursue their goals, all the while work passionately to achieve mine.