Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Hannah159
Name: Hannah Nguyen
Joined: Jan 12, 2021
Last Post: Jan 13, 2021
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
Hannah159   
Jan 12, 2021
Writing Feedback / Some people believed that unpaid community services should be a part of the high school programmers. [4]

Volunteering as a high school student



One of the highly debatable topics relates to whether voluntary work should be considered to be a part of the high school curriculum. Many parents are of the opinion that working for charitable or community organizations would be beneficial to youngsters. I am convinced that sending students to such places is a good idea because of providing children numerous lasting and great values.

Firstly, thanks to doing voluntary work, students have more chances of learning life skills which play a vital role in increasing their success later on. Specifically, not only do the students learn teamwork and time management, but they also gain communication and organizational skills, which is considered to be the excellent preparation for adulthood.Furthermore, skills gained through compulsory work would be an asset on their CV and thus, increasing their employability.

Secondly,due to the shortage of after-school clubs, children nowadays spend an immense amount of time sitting in front of the TV or browsing the Internet and this causes serious harm to the adolescent development. Therefore, giving them compulsory work would prevent them from the excessive use of technological equipment, which results in healthy life balance.

Finally, children find it difficult to work in the real life, therefore, they would gain more respect towards money and more to the point, learn to spend them in more practical way.

In my conclusion, I think unpaid community services should be implemented in the high school programmes since there exist numerous benefits of carrying out them in the long run.
Hannah159   
Jan 13, 2021
Writing Feedback / Some people believed that unpaid community services should be a part of the high school programmers. [4]

@Holt @ Priscilla thanks all of you indeed.
@Holt: I already read your comment carefully. However, I still have a few questions:
1. I often write in long sentences, therefore, my ideas would be in about 2 -3 sentences like above. Is it ok if I continue to do that and it doesn't affect negatively my score ?

2. Could you give me some phrase rather than using "highly debatable topics". How about: " It is suggested that ... " ?
@ Priscilla please show me some mistakes regarding grammars. I have no ideas and I need your help.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳