Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by thanhtien2512
Name: Tien Huynh
Joined: Jun 4, 2021
Last Post: Jun 7, 2021
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Lương Thúc Kỳ

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
thanhtien2512   
Jun 7, 2021
Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: The amount of fish and meat consumed in a European country from 1979 to 2004 [3]

AN COMPARISON BETWEEN DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEAT IN A EUROPEAN COUNTRY



The graph illustrates the amount of fish and meat consumed in a Europan country over a period of 25 years.
Among 4 categories, it can be seen that there was a downward trend in the consumption of fish and different types of meat, except for chicken consumption. In addition, fish was always the least favorite type consumed throughout the period.

Overall, if we look at the consumption of beef and lamb, these two figures shared a similarity. They both sustainably decreased over the period shown. More specifically, beef consumption dropped by haft from about 230 down to more than 100 over the 1979 to 2004 period. Meanwhile, the figure for lamb fell from 150 to approximately 60 during the period.

On the other hand, the amount of chicken consumed witnessed a noticeably increase from nearly 150 to a peak of roughly 250 grams per person weekly, making chicken be the most favored type. Meanwhile, there was a marginal drop in fish consumption in the first year of the period. Then, the figure remained stable at about 50 grams later over the years.



  • task1cam7test2.pn.png
thanhtien2512   
Jun 7, 2021
Writing Feedback / The line chart illustrates the population growth in New Zealand between 1950 and 2050 [5]

You made a small mistake. It should be "over the period shown."

"The porpotion of children falling into... 5%" I think you can simplify it like this : "The children in the age range of 0 to 14 made up just 5%, which was the lowest among 4

age groups." I think this is easier to understand ^^

The last sentence: "The number of people old.... for 38 to 45" It sounds pretty unclear. You may want to describe the age group clearer. For example:"The 38-45 age group and the people aged 65 and above both witnessed downward trends, respectively 10% and 15%"

That is just my humble opinion. Have a good day :)
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳