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Posts by Dexterity
Name: Ethan Hunt
Joined: Jun 28, 2021
Last Post: Jun 28, 2021
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Belize
School: Saint John's College Junior College

Displayed posts: 3
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Dexterity   
Jun 28, 2021
Undergraduate / "Is he going to be a theater major?" - Common App Personal Essay [3]

Just for a bit of background, I plan to study engineering in college. I wanted to differentiate myself from other applicants, so I decided to write about my experiences with theater and how that affected my throughout my high school years. Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!

The influence of theater on my education



Speaking to a gym full of mostly clock-watching parents was not what I expected to be doing on this school night. I had other plans, but fate seemed to lead me here. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead that humid evening as I stood in the dimly lit backstage bathroom, quickly rehearsing my lines. I paced back and forth, sloshing through the thin layer of water still on the floor from an overflowing sink. The odor of cheap soap filled the air as the rustling of other speakers interrupted much-needed concentration. I slowly elbowed open the cold steel door to an appointment filled with stress, tears, and passion. My slot had arrived. Let's do this, unexpectedly, one last time.

Eight years prior, I was introduced by a teacher to the concept of theatrics. She said that I was and always would be a dramatist at heart, that school was not only somewhere to learn math and science, but the place to practice my verbal craft - at least for two months per year. She coached me on the basics: the simple rolling of the tongue and even the semi-humorous gestures that would engage the audience - but more importantly, the judges. She taught me that the stage was the perfect medium for self-expression.

I thrived on the stage. It was a jungle to be tamed, a syringe of adrenaline to be enjoyed; it was a place of survival of the fittest, to be studied, dissected, and written about while simultaneously providing a sense of camaraderie to those who attempt to master it. I would often gab with my fellow performers backstage before practice, critiquing and often collaborating on a performance.

Now a last-minute, freshman year, encore, gap-filling performance had led to enlightenment. Prior to this, I participated (and occasionally won) my elementary school's annual elocution contest, a competition to encourage public speaking through the recitation of popular poetry. My parents preferred to call it an "electrocution contest" since participants often ended up silent with the shock of stage fright as they forgot the well-worn lines of Shakespeare or Ken Nisbet. I was not immune, but unlike my competitors, the lines ultimately mattered little to me. Now, removed from elementary school but on the same stage, I had discovered that what I loved was the accidental nature of the stage, the whimsical engineering of the performance, incorporating the unplanned, like a prop falling or a light going out. Obsessing for hours on which word to emphasize or deciding which props to bring on stage, while all a part of the creative process, ultimately gave way to writing my work, and making my presentation, relishing those random elements, uniquely my own.

At this point, you're probably thinking, "Is he going to be a theater major?"

No, I want to use my talents in a different jungle. As further ventured into high school, I used these soft skills of collaboration, creativity, and determination to work towards a better future for my school and community. I want to bring order to the disorder, understand the nuances, make the minor adjustments, leverage the unplanned, think outside the box, and, with the aid of math and physics, work with others to make the world a little better for us all.

I still am a quite the dramatist.
I love public speaking.
I genuinely enjoy meeting new people and having new experiences.
I want to be an innovator and problem solver.
I was named after Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible.
I am Ethan Hunt.
Dexterity   
Jun 28, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2: Problem and Solution: ATTENTION IN CLASS [5]

Dear Mya223,

Although I have no experience with the IELTS, I do have some feedback.

1. You should give a bit more background as to why this is a pressing issue. It is important and you can always refer back to it throughout the rest of the essay/

2. You can summarize sentence 2-4. Instead of saying, "This issue stems from several affects" you should instead say "Students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention in school because electronic device consumption during class sessions and outdated and rigid teaching methods." From there, you can make two separate paragraphs and go into detail from there.

3. As @Holt mentioned, there is a lot of redundancy in your essay. Try to summarize. Always try to keep it simple when writing in English; it often conveys the information better.
Dexterity   
Jun 28, 2021
Writing Feedback / Information about the percentage of four groups in the total population of New Zealand [4]

Dear nVy1104,

Although I am not sure how this will be graded, I felt lost during some portions of this piece. You constantly cite statistics from the chart that, while accurate, can lead be confusing at points. Instead, perhaps use words like decline, increased, or fell sharply may add some more variety style while simultaneously making it a bit more clear for readers.
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