Writing Feedback / Descriptive Essay: The Mall; 'Everything about the mall just makes me happy' [7]

I had a really hard time doing this :(
Edit it, give me suggestions, anything please! Thank you.

Hundreds of different stores. Teenagers walking around texting on their blackberries. Overpriced T-shirts. Waiting in line. I go to this place very often; the mall. As I hop off of the bus, I casually stroll along, enjoying the glamorous surroundings leading up to the grand entrance. When I approach the transparent doors, I wait for them to automatically slide open for me, almost as if they were like magnets, pulling me closer and closer. The graceful doors glide open, and I take my first step into the mall. As I enter Modells, the first store of the mall, a familiar, cool breeze strokes my face. I hear the generic theme song replaying the same few lines over and over again, "Gotta go to Mo's!" Even though Modells is not my favorite store, entering it symbolizes that I have entered into a realm of my own, a serene world where I am in charge. The mall distracts me from all of the disappointments in my life. That stressful day of school does not seem as stressful. That harsh breakup no longer seems like the end of the world. Apart from the dwindling size of my wallet, there are no problems when I shop. Everyone at the mall has one motive: to shop. Whether it is to shop for the perfect prom dress or something flattering, we, as shoppers, are all united by our purpose for going to the mall.

When I walk around in the gigantic enveloping walls of the mall, I feel as if a brand new adventure has just opened up for me. What new shirts are in style this fall season? Are ripped jeans out already? The best thing about shopping is that I am in control of everything. If I see a shirt that I adore, I am the one who decides if I want to buy it or not. There is no pressure in making a choice, unlike the decision of whether or not one should study in school. If one does not study in school, there will be severe consequences such as not getting into college or dropping out of high school. However, if one does not buy that shirt, there will not be negative consequences. That is the beauty of shopping. One has an abundant number of choices.

As I stroll into my favorite shop, Urban Outfitters, I see many different salespeople walking around. Some quietly fold the clothes into a neat rectangular shape while others eagerly immerse with the customers. The best thing I like about this store is the range in selection of the types of clothing it sells. The store does not center around a specific style. Take Hollister, for example, all it sells are t-shirts and sweatshirts with the words Hollister Co written all over them, and let us not forget the overrated seagull logo. Everything about Urban Outfitters is fashion, from the shredded t-shirts with witty sayings to the four inch vintage oxford heels. As I brush the pale blue fabric of a denim jacket, I search for something that appeals to me. The black leather jacket is cute, but it is too heavy looking. Those pair of shorts is quite chic, but wearing that in the minus degrees weather will cause me to freeze to death. Clothing should be, at the same time, fashionable and comfortable. As I poke around every little corner of the store, I search for that one special item that will brighten my day.

While it seems like all hope is lost, a bright green sign with the words "New arrivals." catches my attention. My feet, with a mind of their own, pull me over to where the new stacks of clothes lay. During my meticulous rummaging session into the endless heaps of clothing, splattered all over the table like paint, I see a bright flowery dress that is absolutely flawless looking. The colors were a bright yellow and grey, and the fabric felt like a soft silk, practically melting in my hands. The moment that I laid eyes on that dress, I knew it was the one. I rush over into the fitting room to try on the beautiful yellow dress. As I was pulling it over my head, a tag hits me in the face. I rub the spot where I was hit and look for what had caused it. My eyes fixate on the dark bold numbers, $69.99. A whole seventy bucks for a dress? Unbelievably expensive I thought to myself. However, I knew I had to have it. Pouring out all the cash in my wallet onto the counter, I reluctantly handed over my last four bills. I walk out of the store with a sense of fulfillment; my mission was complete, for today at least.

Everything about the mall just makes me happy, I enjoy window shopping past the LV store, I enjoy fighting for that last shirt on sale, and last but not least, I enjoy how the mall is an escape from the worries of life. As I stride out of Modells, I once again hear the familiar four words "Gotta go to Mo's!" Before I reach the transparent gliding doors, I take one last look and quietly whisper under my breath, See you next week, mall.

Undergraduate / UF Admissions Essay -- Boarding School [5]

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

- Helen Keller
Helen Keller reminds us that opportunities are never-ending. For me, transitioning into a rural upstate boarding school was not only challenging but turned out to be rewarding. Immediately, I was blown away by the cultural shock. For fun, the kids here rode on four-wheelers rather than go to the mall and the only two places to dine were a greasy Chinese restaurant and a Subway sandwich shop. I was completely dumbfounded at the simplicity of this town.

I had left behind a warm comfortable home to come to a quiet hamlet that was completely foreign to me. Whenever I'd mention anything about tall buildings or bright lights, students here would stare at me. How the local people could stand living in a town so underdeveloped and isolated from the rest of the world was incomprehensible to me.

Unlike the other students here who had been in boarding schools since first grade, I, a sophomore in high school, had a hard time adjusting. Everyday seemed soporific and I found no compelling reason to break out of my stupor. I would wake up, attend school, come back to the dorm, do my homework, and sleep. My days became monotonous and meaningless. I perceived boarding school to be solitary confinement, thus I did not see the door that was opened to me, the door of opportunity to change my aspect on life.

After spending yet another unproductive weekend in the dorm, I received a few words of advice: "Carpe diem," seize the day. At first, the two words confused me greatly. Night after night I'd lay in bed contemplating the real meaning behind those words and finally "the light went on." Boarding school was not a punishment, but a chance to gain knowledge.

It has been three years since I first arrived. Reminiscing on my first year here, I realize how much I have grown as a person. Studying at ______ Academy has allowed me to experience things that I would have never been able to in a public high school. Because of this, in college, I will be able to by-pass what are probably typical freshman woes: living outside of home, dealing with a motley group of people, being out of the comfort zone. I will be able to jump into college campus life quickly with zest and join clubs such as community service clubs and international clubs. Furthermore, because I went to a boarding school, I was able to interact one on one with international students that came from all over the globe and share their insights which opened up a vast store of knowledge for me. I wish to deepen this journey of exploration by possibly studying in the international programs here and abroad of University of Florida.