amramey
Nov 3, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Aunt's cancer..' - Concise Narrative: Entrance Essay for UF [3]
I would appreciate any feedback on my essay. I am not very good at writing essays so any help is appreciated. Thanks.
Please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Tears ran out of my eyes and down my cheeks as my aunt told us that her cancer had came back again. This time it was worse because it was stage four colon cancer. This is the third time she has had this cancer in four years. We have watched her go through the many weeks of chemotherapy and radiation and we have prayed for her, but nothing had prepared us for when she said it had come back. She is always happy and upbeat when I see her, she has been very strong and not letting this get her down. Her daughter and her family are her driving forces. I think it takes a very strong woman to go through two remissions and now another round of chemotherapy. She still sees this just as something that god has put in front of her to let her surpass and continue with her journey. I continue to tell myself to stop taking things for granted. I look at each and every day in a new light. I see that everything happens for a reason and that we should see every challenge as just a tiny bump in the road on our long journey ahead. My aunt has taught me that when you face a big challenge, such as stage four colon cancer, you just have to take it and smile. God won't put anything in front of you that you can't handle.
This experience has affected my life in many ways. I think that this has helped me become the person that I have always wanted to become. I don't take things for granted anymore. I look at everything with the intention to exceed in all I do. It has caused me to excel in school and take every challenge, put in front of me, with a smile just like my aunt. I look to the future with the happiness hoping that one day I can influence someone as much as my aunt influences me. I think that this is a great opportunity to better myself for the future and the long road ahead of me. There will be many challenges but I know that in the end everything will be just as I hoped. My aunt will always be the main person that has changed my outlook on life and how I live it. Remember that the journey ahead is a long one, but one that shouldn't be taken lightly and that you will surpass and look back as just a tiny bump.
I would appreciate any feedback on my essay. I am not very good at writing essays so any help is appreciated. Thanks.
Please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Tears ran out of my eyes and down my cheeks as my aunt told us that her cancer had came back again. This time it was worse because it was stage four colon cancer. This is the third time she has had this cancer in four years. We have watched her go through the many weeks of chemotherapy and radiation and we have prayed for her, but nothing had prepared us for when she said it had come back. She is always happy and upbeat when I see her, she has been very strong and not letting this get her down. Her daughter and her family are her driving forces. I think it takes a very strong woman to go through two remissions and now another round of chemotherapy. She still sees this just as something that god has put in front of her to let her surpass and continue with her journey. I continue to tell myself to stop taking things for granted. I look at each and every day in a new light. I see that everything happens for a reason and that we should see every challenge as just a tiny bump in the road on our long journey ahead. My aunt has taught me that when you face a big challenge, such as stage four colon cancer, you just have to take it and smile. God won't put anything in front of you that you can't handle.
This experience has affected my life in many ways. I think that this has helped me become the person that I have always wanted to become. I don't take things for granted anymore. I look at everything with the intention to exceed in all I do. It has caused me to excel in school and take every challenge, put in front of me, with a smile just like my aunt. I look to the future with the happiness hoping that one day I can influence someone as much as my aunt influences me. I think that this is a great opportunity to better myself for the future and the long road ahead of me. There will be many challenges but I know that in the end everything will be just as I hoped. My aunt will always be the main person that has changed my outlook on life and how I live it. Remember that the journey ahead is a long one, but one that shouldn't be taken lightly and that you will surpass and look back as just a tiny bump.