theplaniverse
Nov 3, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Learning, seeing, understanding more' - Common app essay- why I chose my major [7]
I'm currently working on my personal essay for the Common App and a couple colleges that don't accept it. Two things:
1. General critique and suggestions.
2. The essay is apprx. 500 words, but one of the colleges caps the word count at 300. What can I cut out?
I'm aware I'm in violation of the "show not tell" rule for most of this, but I think a straightforward, expository approach is more my style than some sort of whimsical story that vaguely illustrates my point. I am, however, open to trying it if you think it'd fare better. And yes, I'm going to indent my paragraphs and remove the spaces between them, I just think it's easier to read this way. Here goes:
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Growing up, I always thought I would end up in the arts. Music was my first love: I delighted in the fact that I could express such complex emotions in so few notes, and the way listeners were drawn in by my music. I dedicated virtually all my time to music: practicing, listening, composing, learning music theory and history. By the time I was eleven, I had announced that I would grow up to be a musician and set out to pick the piece that would wow the judges at my college auditions. That's why everyone close to me was so shocked when I decided to pursue a career as a scientist.
To most people, art and science are the distant ends of a spectrum; one spanning from creativity to logic. But I never saw it that way. Art and science may not seem similar in practice, but they involve very similar goals and mindsets. My interest in both is motivated by the same basic desire -- although science is something cataloged and regulated where art is boundless and lawless, they are both investigations into our universe and interpretations of our findings. To put it simply, I am hopelessly infatuated with learning more, seeing more, and understanding more about the world around an inside me.
I first felt this connection in my sophomore chemistry class. To me, chemistry is the most applicable science, and also the most commonly misunderstood. Learning just the basics of chemistry radically changed my view of the world. I loved that I could look at steam coming off my soup or hear the fizz of a pop can and know exactly what was happening. The feeling of understanding even these basic concepts was addicting. Suddenly, I started looking at everything with a How and a What If in my mind: how does a computer screen work? How do chemicals in the air affect the global climate? What if there is a more efficient way to deliver electricity than alternating current? I chose to study cognitive science because once my questions about the world around me were settled, I began to turn my inquisition inward. Why do I care about these things? What makes two people have different opinions? How does my brain determine what is important and what isn't? And why is this lump of cells in my head so fascinated with itself?
Cognitive science not only incorporates creativity and my interests in science, but it allows me to study these impulses and their origins. After I realized that pursuing a different career in no way meant that I would have to give up my lifelong affair with music, I found it hard to choose which of my other interests to pursue. Chemistry, psychology, maybe computer programming? I felt like nothing could possibly link them all, but studying the brain gives me the opportunity to conduct research on anything from artificial intelligence to the biological origins of creativity. As far as I'm concerned, the doors are wide open.
I'm currently working on my personal essay for the Common App and a couple colleges that don't accept it. Two things:
1. General critique and suggestions.
2. The essay is apprx. 500 words, but one of the colleges caps the word count at 300. What can I cut out?
I'm aware I'm in violation of the "show not tell" rule for most of this, but I think a straightforward, expository approach is more my style than some sort of whimsical story that vaguely illustrates my point. I am, however, open to trying it if you think it'd fare better. And yes, I'm going to indent my paragraphs and remove the spaces between them, I just think it's easier to read this way. Here goes:
-----
Growing up, I always thought I would end up in the arts. Music was my first love: I delighted in the fact that I could express such complex emotions in so few notes, and the way listeners were drawn in by my music. I dedicated virtually all my time to music: practicing, listening, composing, learning music theory and history. By the time I was eleven, I had announced that I would grow up to be a musician and set out to pick the piece that would wow the judges at my college auditions. That's why everyone close to me was so shocked when I decided to pursue a career as a scientist.
To most people, art and science are the distant ends of a spectrum; one spanning from creativity to logic. But I never saw it that way. Art and science may not seem similar in practice, but they involve very similar goals and mindsets. My interest in both is motivated by the same basic desire -- although science is something cataloged and regulated where art is boundless and lawless, they are both investigations into our universe and interpretations of our findings. To put it simply, I am hopelessly infatuated with learning more, seeing more, and understanding more about the world around an inside me.
I first felt this connection in my sophomore chemistry class. To me, chemistry is the most applicable science, and also the most commonly misunderstood. Learning just the basics of chemistry radically changed my view of the world. I loved that I could look at steam coming off my soup or hear the fizz of a pop can and know exactly what was happening. The feeling of understanding even these basic concepts was addicting. Suddenly, I started looking at everything with a How and a What If in my mind: how does a computer screen work? How do chemicals in the air affect the global climate? What if there is a more efficient way to deliver electricity than alternating current? I chose to study cognitive science because once my questions about the world around me were settled, I began to turn my inquisition inward. Why do I care about these things? What makes two people have different opinions? How does my brain determine what is important and what isn't? And why is this lump of cells in my head so fascinated with itself?
Cognitive science not only incorporates creativity and my interests in science, but it allows me to study these impulses and their origins. After I realized that pursuing a different career in no way meant that I would have to give up my lifelong affair with music, I found it hard to choose which of my other interests to pursue. Chemistry, psychology, maybe computer programming? I felt like nothing could possibly link them all, but studying the brain gives me the opportunity to conduct research on anything from artificial intelligence to the biological origins of creativity. As far as I'm concerned, the doors are wide open.