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Posts by paul
Joined: Nov 26, 2007
Last Post: Jan 21, 2008
Threads: 4
Posts: -  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 4
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paul   
Nov 27, 2007
Writing Feedback / Which is better - SPEND money or SAVE money? [2]

Here is the topic:
Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better of save your money for some time in the future?

My essay:
In my opinion, we should use our money in appropriate manners. That means we should not only save our money without using it or we just enjoy it without saving.

I can't imagine how hard my life will be if I just spend a little part of my money for all things in my life. This will make my life dull and meaningless. Everyday we work hard to earn a lot of money but if we do not use it to make out lives better, the value of our hard word is not compensated meritoriously.

Both enjoying our money when we earn it and saving it for long term goals in the future have advantages and disadvantages of each. We should not use it up immediately and we should not only save all of it without using it comfortably and effeciently. The purpose of earning money is not to make my life harder but to make it more comfortable; furthermore, money will be the key factor for my prospect of life. I believe we should use it suitably, not so little and not use it up any time.

Please give me some advice because I know that I am very bad at writing. Thank you very much indeed!
paul   
Dec 4, 2007
Writing Feedback / Children with good knowledge in art, music & drama are more flexible and confident! [2]

Topic: Subject such as art, music, drama should be a part of very child's basic education?
Nowadays, our lives are so busy and hasty that we have little time for leisure pursuits. Thus, we should spend time for entertainment by learning art, music, or even drama. I totally agree that subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of very child's basic education.

Learning art, music, or drama at the beginning of children's education is a benefit for them. By take courses of the subject, they will have a chance to practise some important skill, as well as to promote their potential talent. At art class, they can get more knowledge about ancient society or masterpieces.

According to me, music plays an important role is our life. It can help us relax and reduce stress, which occurs more often in our modern life. Children leaning music when they are still young can be more capable of perceiving music.. Music is also an effective way when communicate or participating in parties. Drama is also a great mean for children to get into the life easily and to practise some important skills in expressing their feelings, or controlling their emotion., ect.

To sum up, children with good knowledge in art, music and drama would be more flexible and confident. Courses of art, music and drama also give them opportunities to take part in outside activities and teamwork, therefore, they have a chance to explore themselves.
paul   
Dec 13, 2007
Undergraduate / PARENTS & Especially my mother; Personal statement: Important person [NEW]

I really need help with my personal statement below. Please give me some feed back.Thank you for your help!!!

I come from a very traditional family of Vietnam. Born and growing up in a family of culture and traditional aspects, the influence in cultural and behavior that has been instilled in me has tremendously helped in my spiritual, metal and developmental upbringing.

My parents have taught me a great deal of invaluable lessons of perseverance, tolerance, prudence and forgiveness, which leads me to the man I am today. All of these moral lessons have set roots into my mind, and from there they change my points of view, my attitude towards the life and mold the development of my whole life.

My mother, actually, is a very ordinary person but she is the most persistent and hard working women I have ever seen. In fact, she is not a successful businesswoman and often copes with failures; however, all of her experienced life has left me with an effort to overcome hardships. Maybe she has never urged me to do exactly what we must do, but her encouragements inspired me a lot, her fortitude motivated me to keep moving forward. Each of her failure, her grief and the ways she set aside difficulties to move on have given an indelible impression in my mind, leading me to travel on the right road and encouraging me to take advantage of every opportunity. She has taught me in the clearest possible way that I should never give up, that I could surmount any obstacle, and that I could build an active life for myself.

From the time at high school, I have taken part in many voluntary activities which helps me to improve myself. These activities give me broader perspective on life, and offer me opportunities to discover the values of my own. I have taken responsibility in various fundraisers and volunteered in the Green Summer Mission campaign to help many poor children get more optimistic about their future. I have also been a member of other organizations for the youth such as AIESEC, a place where I learn many skills of communication and have opportunities to explore the real experience of leaders.

I have completed and have been challenged throughout high school and have been involved in many different activities recently that offer me a life of action and confidence. I am ready to face new challenges waiting for me and I eager to conquer them.

All the time, I know that higher education is a key factor I need to attain to fulfill my dream, and that to set my own business. As many young people, I realize that business would be the most promising for the time coming and would be the prime factor to develop in this market economy. I believe that my endeavor will be compensated fairly.

I can never thank my mother enough for what she has given me. I am confident with all things I have made in my life, and I owe all my strength to my mother. The lesson from her life has left me with the right direction of my road, pushing me forward -"Taking advantage of every opportunity and dealing with hardship are what make individuals grow into strong and functional members of society".
paul   
Jan 21, 2008
Undergraduate / Mother;Fortitude,Perseverance,Altuistic soul, Kind Hearted (important person) [2]

Hello again, this is my second essay on this topic. I have worked very hard to have it now. Please review it and give me some advice. Thank you very much for your time. I am very grateful for each of your tip. My native language is not English, I had to translative this essay into English so there are something you can not get it, please let me know. Thanks again.

Here's the topic: Describe a person who has influenced on your development and describe the infuence.


Here's my essay:

It was just 3 a.m. and the sky was still in the darkness of an extremely cold evening winter in the severe highland. The wind blew fast made the dark sky become more dangerous and violent, but my mother was ready to set out again. Hardly did anyone know that where a female was going in such that weather. She was going to remote areas of the province to do her business, retailing commodities. At the age of 40s, my mother still had to work hard to earn her living and support our family. By her old bike with a lot of goods that maybe was out of her ultimate limit, my mother faced her new challenge alone but vigorously. There was no light outside, no stars, and no one, there was only winds still blew faster and faster towards my mother's sunburnt face. This moment of my mother' life that has been instilled in my mind has tremendously helped me in my spiritual, mental, and developmental upbringing.

My mother actually is an ordinary woman but in her tiny appearance lies an extraordinary fortitude, perseverance, a altruistic soul and a very kindly heart. The kind of mother who brought me up with her whole kindly heart, the kind of persistent woman with strong willpower who had to face the toughest challenges in life, and the kind of person who always demonstrated great zeal for every unlucky lives without requiring anything in return and great willingness to help everyone's misery though she did not have much, my mother taught me more than any one else, not only inspired me the strength to overcome hardships in my life, but also left me with invaluable life lessons. Her fortitude and perseverance, as well as her kindly heart have encouraged me to grow up to live the life of an authentic person, a life engulfed with perseverance and determination, a life with heartfelt eagerness to love and to receive love from every one and optimistic beliefs in the future.

My mother's life is the succession of obstacles and grieves. Growing up in a poor family, my mother must work very hard to earn her living since her early ages. Due to shortage of material condition, she herself has trained an extremely strong will and ability to sedately deal with each difficulty and stand up to move on from her failures.

I vividly remember the calamity poured down my family when my mother' business went bankrupt. We had to sell our house and leave for another town to begin from "zero". This critical time made every member in my family totally upset. But it was my mother, the persistent and brave women, strongly stood up and started over again after this great adversity. Each of her failures, her grief, and the way she overcome difficulties to move on has made an indelible impression in my mind, leaving me with precious lessons about the values of strong wills and indefatigable endeavors to firmly confront with setbacks and bravely conquer them. There was time when I felt that there was no more hope in life, that I felt very weary and was about to give up everything. It was the time when I failed the entrance examination into a high school for the gifted, a famous and competitive school attracting best students in Vietnam. I was really despaired when all my efforts went to nowhere, six months with hard working and overnight learning left me nothing but fail and shame. I was unable to deal with any small problems and felt embarrassed to meet my relatives and friends. However, that was also the right time that I learned from my mother how to learn from mistakes and developed my own tools to take more lessons from them to realize the proper meanings of determination. My patient efforts were compensated when I received scholarships in each semester at high school. All of these difficulties eventually gave me an optimistic view on life which helped me become more vigorous to start all over again and to waive my unhealthy fear of failure.

My mother is a diligent and determined woman who has left me with the right direction of my road, more importantly, she has helped me appreciate this life as precious gifts of ordinary life and true happiness by her kindly heart. The accident of my aunt gave me another lesson from my mother. My aunt Dung was unfortunately hurt mentally after this accident, and the reserved women became demented, which made anyone scared of her. Unlike other relatives, my mother was the only person who did not ignore her; in contrast, she looked after her very wholeheartedly. Thank to my mother, I was no longer scared of demented people as I used to, but instead, I understood from their eyes the hope to live stable lives.

The kindness I learned from my mother urged me to enthusiastically accompany my teachers to the town of leper families at Eana, Daklak province. This was an unforgettable experience that helped me shaped my outlook on life. Many people here lived in silence and complex about their situations. Scared at first, my mind changed from fearing them to sympathizing with them and wishing them integrate more into the society. I realized from their eyes the sturdy resistance to illness, and their strong will to live ordinary lives under such terrible circumstances. Giving my small gifts, I also received form them more valuable gift - true happiness, that comes from the simple things in life and from trying to make others happy, the more of it we give to other the more we will have for ourselves.

I can never thank my mother enough for what she has given me. The precious lessons from my mother are the luggage for me to go on my road and discover new horizon of knowledge and make my dream become a reality instead of just a dream. I own my strength to my mother. Her life experience has made me more vigorous to face every hardship, to overcome each failure, and move on. Far more meaningfully, I also realize the invaluable gift of life and true happiness to view the world more optimistically and to believe in the brighter future.
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