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Posts by Jadewestboston
Name: Jade West
Joined: Aug 1, 2023
Last Post: Aug 1, 2023
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Hanoi University

Displayed posts: 2
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Jadewestboston   
Aug 1, 2023
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: DISCUSSION - The main environmental problem of our time [2]

Topic:
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals.
Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.



People have different views regarding the primary environmental issues nowadays. While some individuals argue that the most vital concern lies in the disappearance of various fauna and flora creatures, I strongly agree with those who believe that different ecological challenges are more crucial.

First and foremost, the decline of numerous plants and animals can be considered the most fundamental phenomenon for today's nature-related crisis. It is essential to acknowledge that biology can be adversely affected due to the lack of some particular species as they play a highly significant role in terms of supporting each other. There is no doubt that people are now experiencing environmental damage when some creatures went extinct, for example, the vultures in Africa. Dead bodies of animals such as deer, oxen, and more used to be entirely cleaned by them. Currently, the large number of vultures has decreased, resulting in no corpse cleaners available which triggered many ecological problems for Africans.

However, I would argue that human behaviors are also one of the most essential contributors to biodiversity issues these days. To begin with, people have been cutting significant forests across various countries to construct infrastructures such as roads, buildings, skyscrapers, etc. which has led to the loss of natural habitats for animals and plants. Additionally, environmental issues also bitterly arise from human massive production, for instance, clearing agricultural lands to build industrial factories. Through manufacturing, these factories perpetually release carbon dioxide or poisonous gas into the environment, contributing to ecological challenges, such as air pollution, water pollution, soil pollution, and so on.

In conclusion, it seems to me that many differing factors should be taken into account in terms of the key problem of the environmental crisis at the moment. Authorities need to take adequate measures to ensure that biology, particularly animals and plants, is well-protected.
Jadewestboston   
Aug 1, 2023
Writing Feedback / Increasing the cost of fuels is the best way to solve the world's environmental problems [4]

It's unnecessary use of the phrase "they say" in the 2nd sentence of the 2nd paragraph and the redundancy in mentioning "consumers these days" along with "heavily rely on fuels." The sentence can be improved by removing the unnecessary phrase and rephrasing it to eliminate redundancy.

The majority of consumers these days, they say, especially workers who have commuting involved, heavily rely on fuels = The majority of consumers, especially workers with commutes, heavily rely on fuel. (Fuels = fuel)

The next sentence is confusing. You mention the 'higher prices', coupled with 'the emission of carbon dioxide' in 1 sentence, but I think you should separate them into 2 sentences. That would be more logical.
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