Posts by eya123456

eya123456

Aug 4, 2023

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education [3]

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart compares five countries in terms of the percentage for the female pursuing tertiary education in 1980 and 2015

Overall, apart from Australia, upturns from 1980 to 2015 were recorded in other countries. Although that of South Korea was the most marked compared to the rest, there are the fewest women attending college in this country

Specifically, taking the highest place with nearly 60% of the total women in 1980, no differences was recorded in the data for Australia after 35 years. At the bottom was the proportion for female higher students in South Korea, which stood at about 15% but witnessed the most evident growth of a factor of two in 2015.

Turning to the three other countries, there was a correlation in trends between UK and USA but the bars for USA was a bit higher. Of the three countries mentioned, the rise in the number of the French women pursuing higher education was the least noticeable.

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eya123456

Aug 10, 2023

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education [3]

@Holt Thank you so much for your review, I really appreciate it:
This is the overview part I have rewritten: (I just don't get what you mean by saying "a complete listing of a complete listing of the 5 countries in the summary section". Does it mean I have to list all the names in particular?)

Overall, Australia showed the dominance of the number in 1980 and remained unchanged until 2015, in which upturns were recorded in other countries, especially the US reached equally. The data of South Korea was the lowest but showed the most notable climb in 2015

Also, I've redone the second paragraph, I find there's a lack of figures in the 3 other countries so I have added them. Here it is:

Likewise, commencing with a range between 30% and 40% in 1980, the percentages for the UK and US women witnessed an equivalent increase of 20% but one for USA was a bit higher in 2015. Meanwhile, the rise in the data for French women pursuing higher education was the least noticeable from 50% to nearly 54%

eya123456

Aug 14, 2023

Writing Feedback / In the chart the proportion of women employed in the USA, Korea, Afghanistan and France [4]

"While the figures for the USA, Korea and France increase, the opposite was true for Afghanistan." --> increased
" the amount of/the quantity of" is not correct to use with women (the former for uncountable nouns, the latter for things not person)
"...then recovered to 60% in 2005." --> maybe ".... a recovery to..."

eya123456

Aug 14, 2023

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: Statistics of people who passed their driving exam in an Asian country in four years [3]

Here my opinion:
- "it is clear that higher percentage of women who passed the test than men who did in all four years." -->".... that the percentage of women who passed the test was higher than men in all four years"

-"both men and women who passed the exam was fewer than the number in 2000 and 2010" --> "...women passing the exam were fewer than in...."
- "There was around a half of female candidates could passed the driving test in 1980" --> too many errors in this sentences, please recheck it
-"In the next 10 years, the percentage of women was not witnessed a dramatical changes which was shown in the chart was slightly over 50 percent." --> only witnessed, a change, omit "which was shown in the chart was slightly" --> "at over....."

- The figure for

eya123456

Aug 14, 2023

Writing Feedback / Task 1 (barchart): Percentage of Canadians which gave money to charitable organisations by age [2]

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The grouped bar chart compares the age distribution of the Canadian donating to charity between 2000 and 2015.

Overall, the number of donors concentrated on the 25 to 64 age groups and that concentration dropped subtantially in two younger groups. In addition, the late middle age and elderly people witnessed an increase in the data, which was in stark contrast to the rest.

Specifically, the 2000 survey of people aged from 18 to 49 revealed a difference of about 10% between adjacent bars ranging from 20% to 40%. After 15 years, the percentage of people aged 25 to 34 and 35 to 49 witnessed a marginal decline to 25% and slighly under 35% respectively, whereas that of the youngest age group was twice less than before (at 10%)

Likewise, there were more and more people over 49 taking part in the charitable donation. They accounted for about 34% and 32% for each in 2000 and recorded a modest rise of around 4%, which the oldest was lower

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