In the chart the proportion of women employed in the USA, Korea, Afghanistan and France

The percentage of women employed in four countries

The chart compares the proportion of women employed in the USA, Korea, Afghanistan and France from 1985 to 2005.
As can be seen from the chart, the number of employed women in the USA was by far the highest during the whole period. While the figures for the USA, Korea and France increase, the opposite was true for Afghanistan.

Looking at the chart in more detail, the amount of women employed in Korea experienced a gradual rise from approximately 20% in 1985 to about 40% in 2005. Meanwhile, there was a slight drop in France's figure from nearly 40% in 1985 to just under 35% in 1990, then recovered to 60% in 2005.

Starting at roughly 40% in the first year of the period, the quantity of employed women in Afghanistan experienced a slight growth from over 30% to under 40% in the year 1995, followed by a significant decline to only 2% in 2005, while there was a gradual increase of 15% in the USA' s figure between 1985 and 2000, followed by a mild decrease to nearly 60% in 2005, which was the highest among 4 countries.

What kind of chart are you talking about? Since you are required to briefly, but accurately describe the image in the report, you need to say more than just "The chart". Specifics are required. Is it a line chart? A bar chart? A column chart? It is necessary for the clarity of information on the readers part.


You are assuming that the reader can see the chart. The reader cannot see the chart. So you cannot use such references in the presentation. You have to make sure that your description is accurate and does not require any extra work for referencing on the reader's part. Use your imagination. Deliver a descriptive writing piece.

"While the figures for the USA, Korea and France increase, the opposite was true for Afghanistan." --> increased
" the amount of/the quantity of" is not correct to use with women (the former for uncountable nouns, the latter for things not person)
"...then recovered to 60% in 2005." --> maybe ".... a recovery to..."

I love the way you describe the given data in the chart. But the final paragraph you connect the questions way too long. This is my opinion and hopefully, you will get your ideal score.