Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by d54739106184219
Joined: Nov 13, 2009
Last Post: Nov 19, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
d54739106184219   
Nov 13, 2009
Undergraduate / UC PROMPT #1 - "Average? Maybe not" [7]

Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Average? Maybe not.

I am your typical, not-so-special, average Asian-American. I live with my mom and dad, we aren't rich or poor, and we haven't discovered some long-lost relative that is a billionaire. Unsurprisingly, I have the cliché story of having immigrant parents who came to the United States to study and have a better future. After several years of struggling and both with their master's degrees, they finally settled down and I was born. Nothing so special about that.

I suppose, however, that I can say my birth was a miracle. While my mother was pregnant, she had problems in her body and had to go through surgical operations that could have been deleterious to the fetal me in her womb (awkard?). Because of my mother's illness, it seemed as if I would not be born. But somehow, my mother pulled it through all the way, and gave me the gift of life.

Being born under such difficult circumstances, it is no question that my parents brought me up very carefully, doing their best to guide their only child down the right path. Blanketed in their excessive concern for my future, I grew up knowing little. They wanted me to have a prosperous life, raising me in conditions that they were not fortunate enough to have. As a child, I dreamed of becoming a musician, inspired by my pianist mother who taught me to play the piano for eleven years. Keeping the piano as my canvas for music, I moved on to play the violin. It was then that I grasped the idea of the vast cultures of the world, and the vastness of the world itself. I was given opportunities to travel, playing the music I loved and learning about different people in different places. Having traveled to countries such as Russia, Finland, Estonia, Germany, and Poland, my horizons of the world expanded, as I was exposed to many different cultures. Having first-hand experience, I realized that I have so much more to learn about this world of diversity I am living in (awkward?).

All I can say is that I am really thankful to music for opening me up to the world from my little house - a tiny, insignificant speck compared to the whole world. It has sparked my interest in the humanities and I await the next opportunity to travel and reach out to other communities, to learn more about their ways of life. And I will make sure to always bring my violin with me, telling its stories of world-wide travel, and sharing the music that lays deep in the roots of my heart. I guess I'm not so average, after all (Is this necessary?)
d54739106184219   
Nov 19, 2009
Undergraduate / UC PROMPT #1 - "Average? Maybe not" [7]

Thank you!
any other help is greatly appreciated!

I think I need some help on the general tone of the essay, is it too casual in the beginning?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳