Helin
Nov 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ; Recent story that affected me the most was Pig Flu [4]
Hi, i am preparing for the TOEFL exam and my English is not good. this essay is my first draft and pls let me know how it is. thank you so much
What recent news story affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you?
Pig flu affected me mostly in recent days. There is so many reason that i affected from it. When i heard this type flu, i feel terrify. First reason is that H1N1 virus have an ability that spread and influence people easily. And i saw some people dead because of this virus in TV and read some news about these events. Second reason is that i use public transportation while i am going to school and i see most of people have mask on their face to prevent themselves from virus. Because this virus spread with respiration way. I read a new that was about a child who was 5 years old and dead cause of H1N1. I am so upset for him. He was so young and hadn't a chance to prevent himself. In this point parents have the most responsibility about healthy of their children. The other important subject is vacation against to H1N1. For example there is two different ideas about it. Some people who have the first idea say that it has to be done and the others who have the second idea say that it doesn't have to do and is not necessary. The people who has the second idea have an opinion that is just relatively whether your immune system is strong. They say if you eat and take kind of vitamin regularly, you don't need any vacation to prevent yourself from H1N1. So i am so confused about the vacation whether it should be done.
In conclusion, pig flu event has affected me so much.
Hi, i am preparing for the TOEFL exam and my English is not good. this essay is my first draft and pls let me know how it is. thank you so much
What recent news story affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you?
Pig flu affected me mostly in recent days. There is so many reason that i affected from it. When i heard this type flu, i feel terrify. First reason is that H1N1 virus have an ability that spread and influence people easily. And i saw some people dead because of this virus in TV and read some news about these events. Second reason is that i use public transportation while i am going to school and i see most of people have mask on their face to prevent themselves from virus. Because this virus spread with respiration way. I read a new that was about a child who was 5 years old and dead cause of H1N1. I am so upset for him. He was so young and hadn't a chance to prevent himself. In this point parents have the most responsibility about healthy of their children. The other important subject is vacation against to H1N1. For example there is two different ideas about it. Some people who have the first idea say that it has to be done and the others who have the second idea say that it doesn't have to do and is not necessary. The people who has the second idea have an opinion that is just relatively whether your immune system is strong. They say if you eat and take kind of vitamin regularly, you don't need any vacation to prevent yourself from H1N1. So i am so confused about the vacation whether it should be done.
In conclusion, pig flu event has affected me so much.