Undergraduate / UC personal statement 1 - My Siblings [2]

I don't know if this is good enough. Please correct any mistakes I may have in my essay. Thank you

Prompt 1-Describe the world you come from -for example, your family, community or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My family has always been a big one and being the second oldest of five children gave me a duty. What come with the title of being an older sister are responsibilities, being a role model, and expectations. I have to keep up my grades to set an example for my siblings, take care of them while my parents are away, and help them with any sort of problems. Dealing with all this was not easy, but it was thanks to my sisters and brothers that I have a goal to accomplish.

There were a lot of minor health issues in my family. I was always a healthy child and never had many problems, but my siblings were different. They tend to have colds, injuries, and stomach problems which made me very concerned for them. Every single time this happened, we always end up in the pediatrics. Three adjectives that described how I used to feel about the pediatrics were frightened, alarmed, and horrified. This was before I realized how important the pediatrics was one day.

Six years ago, I went to my cousin's house to visit. During the time that I was there, my little brother had a huge fever. This situation had never happened to me before because I have always been with my siblings whenever they were ill. Being the older sister that I am, I rushed back home and found my mother caring for him while he was on the bed. His face was bright-red, his cheeks were swelling, and he was sweating excessively. My mother and I brought him to the pediatrics to see if the doctor would be able to help get rid of his fever. I was amazed to see how calm and understanding our pediatrician was when we told her about the situation. My brother was very tense at first, but he felt more comfortable with her after five minutes. While she was examining my little brother, I stood helplessly near the door watching. At that moment, I felt useless and a failure as a sister because I couldn't do anything to help my brother. This feeling disappeared when I decided what I wanted to be in the future.

Pediatrics was not a place to harm people even though getting shots were painful and the medicine could be highly displeasing, it was to help the children. The incident helped me realized this and made me feel a great admiration for many doctors. I regret not understanding about pediatricians at first, but now I am inspired to become one. I had always been attached to children due to the care and love I have for my sister and brothers so striving in this career will be meaningful to me. Growing up and taking care of my siblings made me realize how important children shape my life.

Undergraduate / UC personal statement 2 - My First Interview [2]

Prompt 2

Please correct any mistakes. Thank you!

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

When I blew out my sixteen birthday candles, I knew there was something I wanted: a part-time job. Achieving this goal was my first step to adulthood. The job I desired the most was to be part of an academic program that tutors elementary school students. I love being around children and helping them was something I didn't mind doing. I find this job very meaningful because it does not only benefit me, but also improves children's academic performance in school. One of the most important people in my life was my tutor, so I felt the empathy of tutoring children.

There was a place called "EBAYC" (East Bay Asian Youth Center) that I could work for as a high school intern. I was excited thinking about applying to this program, so I spent a long time filling out the application. I made sure every single line and box was filled with the right information. After I finished the application, a coordinator at the program called me for an interview.

When I heard the word "interview", my mind blanked out for a split second. This was my very first interview and I knew that I had to be prepared. I asked for advice from many people who had work experience. I asked about everything from the clothes I should wear to questions they might ask me. On the day of the interview, I took a deep breath before I went in and was determined to get this job. My nervousness ate all of my confidence away, but I thought quickly and decided to answer their questions with the first thoughts that popped into my mind. The trick to this method was to quickly process the answer in my head and say it formally to my interviewers.

When the interview was over, I walked out positive about the job even though I had some doubt in the back of my head. A week later, the same coordinator called and told me I got the job. I politely thanked her for informing me and when I hung up the phone, I brought exaggeration to a whole new level. I hollered at everyone in my house, told the neighbors, screamed to my friends, and most importantly called my tutor.

This interview was a big accomplishment to me because I tried to my full extent to get this job. Even though my nervousness was a huge flaw, I made it through with quick thinking and problem solving. I am glad that I was able to be positive and determined about something I found really important.